Yeah no.
Look, this episode's cop plot was a racist, sexist, classist clusterfuck MESS from beginning to end, and we established when we did Once Upon A Time that we don't do hatewatching. That never ends well. We're not even sure if the writer or the casting director is most at fault on this one, though the writer has historically been pretty close to this bad. If asked, we can try to enumerate at not too great a length why we feel this way, but for now we're putting this down and moving the fuck on.
And then we're going to go address the Hexen/Zauberbiest scenes, because we established at the beginning of the season that that's what we're here for, and frankly they're semi-competently written to the point where I wonder if the room didn't simply ask for x pages to be left blank here and there.
Blah blah Macbeth really you guys are going for the Scottish play for your quote? Yawn. You did so much better when you skewed fairytale quotes instead of going for the pretentious literature. Not just the pretentious literature, the ones everyone's done before. We do pick up right where we left off with Nick's headache and Wu and Juliette insisting on a hospital. Adalind continues to have the creepiest fucking psycho outside her cell, seriously, why are you even trusting him a little, woman. You haven't been left alone long enough to develop that kind of all alone terrified grasping at everything trauma, though I'll grant that everything else Adalind's been through, it wouldn't take that much. We still have no fucking clue who the fuck Chavez works for as she woges for Trubel, though evidently whoever it is she's seen a Grimm before. To the point where she doesn't flinch at the dark pit of dark darkness eyes. O-kay. Lauffeuer? Verrat? Either way you guys, your organization sucks and you should feel bad, and the rest of this scene is nothing but a failed interrogation and threats against Trubel and her friends. Chavez implies that people want the services of a Grimm, which is true, and further implies that maybe there are other Grimms out there? In this group? Honestly the way she frames it I'm leaning toward Verrat or new, unknown group. I almost hope for a new player, as much as it makes me weep for continuity and worldbuilding, because the other answer is worse because everyone fucking knows Nick's a Grimm. Or was. Maybe not the was part. Nick's doctor visit is fine, there's no brain damage (really? all those concussions? I guess this is television, where you can't get hurt by getting hit on the head) but an opthamologist! Whee!
Skipping a bunch, and then… Nick's drawing the prison cell Adalind's hanging out in, everyone wants something more normal, nobody's getting it. At least he's communicating with Juliette his doubts and fears and so on and so forth, that's always a plus. Juliette is also leaning toward the Tell Wu side of things. Well, Nick, you can always start with people doing a full woge for him, he can still see that! Rosalee's adorable! Trubel will now come in and fail at communicating. I just… sigh. Sigh, everyone. Extra sighing for the pseudoscience babble about how Nick has extra cones in his eye and this might be what lets him see Wesen. Guys, when we did the Weird Science shit awhile ago, that was for shits and giggles, not for anything we expected to see in the show proper. And if you're going to put it in the show proper, can you please not give a cursory explanation that does nothing to explain woge-form tentacles leaving wounds in people's heads, woge-form scorpion tails stabbing people, woge-form dragon people breathing fire. You know, woge-form Wesen doing things that they can't do in human form, thereby indicating that this is more than just Nick being able to see more spectra of light than humans can. You're way better off sticking with weird magical shit than going into the Weird Science. Unless you want to do the mind-twisting thorough job of reconciling all the can-- no, you know what? weird magical shit. Instead we get a cursory bone thrown in the direction of science. Sigh. So much sighing. Ooh, it's time to have the discussion with Hank over at Monroe and Rosalee's place about whether or not bringing Nick's Grimmstincts back is the best idea or not. In conclusion let's talk to girlfriend and work partner! Awww. Those aren't like conclusions, though. Bud will interrupt the might-have-been conclusions by flailing about whether Trubel is good, bad, both, neither, what the fuck you guys? At least we get a dose of Hank being calm and soothing in this ep. The parts of it we're acknowledging. But no, I wouldn't trust Bud to keep his mouth shut about Nick not being a Grimm anymore either; sadly I'm doubtful that they'll do a decent job of showing the repercussions.
I do appreciate that Elizabeth Lascelles is clearly capable of working out her son's twisty mind, hell, she probably taught him at least half of those twists and turns: the baby of ultimate power is not, in fact, with the Royals, or the Resistance, or indeed with anyone who owes any allegiances. And that they do the recap as part of a character moment, which is maybe the one bit of decent writing all episode. You hope, Renard, you hope. I'm a little surprised but pleased that Monroe and Rosalee are willing to go have dealings with him. Maybe this bodes well for his future? Neither of them are comfortable with Maman, as you would expect given their justifiable issues around Hexenbiests and the various shit Renard's been up to just that they know about, but let's just skip as much of the uncomfortable stammering as possible and go with she's up to speed. THANK GOD. It's better than recaps. Renard and his mother will have a quiet moment of argument over whether he's going to go show them where the potion was made or if he's going to stay in fucking BED because he has three BULLET HOLES in him. His argument boils down to "I owe him my daughter's life" which, okay, granted. With that, she'll volunteer herself in his place! She's fully competent to defend herself, she can go get the information and come back, and she's going to call Monroe on being afraid of her. With the wholly accurate statement that they need her if they're going to beat Adalind at her own game. I mean, I still don't think Adalind's very good at the Hexening, comparatively speaking, see also got herself thrown in a Hexen-proof cell. But they do need a Hexen/Zauberbiest at full capacity, and that's not Renard. Maman, meanwhile, has apparently not only the respect of some pretty powerful conspirators, let's not forget that Stefania knew her and thought of her as a powerful witch, too. Adalind will now test this cell's Hexenproofing and get nothing but a really awful headache for her pains. Viktor did say, dumbass.
Skip skip skip the bad plot! Over to the storage unit and Maman can smell Adalind was here. So, you know, that actually goes along with all the random Hexensniffing we've been seeing in the show so far! Continuity how I have missed you. Not to mention the lightening of the mood that Monroe and Maman's banter about scents brings; despite the fact that Monroe clealy has no idea what she's going on about we can see him sniffing around the background anyway. They do find the cauldron where Adalind was doing her Sorting Hat huffing, though Maman stops Rosalee from dipping her hand into the cauldron. At first I thought perhaps out of some sense that it was dangerous, but then Maman reaches in and pulls out a chunk of what looks like green rock candy and eats it. Well that's just bold and disgusting. And then her face morphs all over into Adalind and Juliette and back to center again. All righty then! Maman has some idea of what's going on but they need to find a specific spell, which means they need to find a book that won't open. Hey, everyone remember Adalind's frustration with the book last season? Yeah, that one. Monroe would like to know what use a book that won't open is going to be, as one might reasonably wonder. Maman, apparently, is not in a mood for explanations. She's barely in a mood for politeness. Yep, Renard's her son all right. He gets more than a little brusque when he's impatient, too.
Skipping some more, we land back on her cell and creepy Rumplestiltsziegler. I don't approve. Yes, Adalind, he's giving you the way out, because apparently Viktor doesn't know that someone created a Hexenpassage out of the Hexencell. Also it closes on its own. Be concerned. Hard to say if Hoffman's Wesen or just crazy human. Adalind what the fuck is wrong with you, you were RAISED AS A HEXENBIEST, you should know that you don't EAT THE FUCKING FOOD when it's offered by a stranger. Out of a creepyass box. Oh my god. Well, if I were writing this that would come back to bite her next ep or two! Speaking of things back to bite her, Rosalee finally found the book that won't open and Maman Renard is stabbing herself in the palm. GODDAMMIT TV. Someday someone is going to subvert this trope and make us very happy, but it is not this day. Particularly since she needs drops of blood, not a gushing torrent of it. The book flops open right to the spell, which makes one wonder if there's some sort of magical your-last-place-was-here charm on the book. I could use that on some of my books. Elizabeth would like to reverse the spell, but she needs a place that's been untainted by another Hexenbiest. One assumes she means making potions, because otherwise Rosalee offering the spice shop is really not gonna work. Monroe disapproves of this plan so hard, which is really not up to him. I wonder how much, if at all, this proves to be a strain on their marriage? Rosalee's science nerding because YES ALL THE KNOWLEDGE and Monroe freaking out because Hexenbiest and Renard's mother. It's much more adorable once we skip the rest of the godawful plot and go right to the shop, and Maman is reading over the potion and she's too well-bred to wince? But if she were the kind of person to do it she would, on account of it binds Nick and Adalind together in unpredictable ways. On top of the part where Nick took her Hexen powers that once? That's a lot of fucked up binding, I'm betting. At any rate, she'll start by making the potion, and go around listing off all the things they're going to need to create it, while Rosalee and Monroe scurry around to grab stuff. That's kind of cute and kind of indicative of how powerful she is, with the walking in and assuming command. I guess we know where Renard gets it from. Meanwhile there's some… guys in weird… Renaissance death masks? Pulling up outside the spice shop to a severely overdone musical cue of Bad Shit About To Happen. No, seriously, the fuck is this happy horseshit you guys.
Next time, please god let the golem ep not send us screaming for the hills with how very, very wrong they got the mythology. Please please no. Juliette is doing… who knows what at home, I'm not sure why those clips are even in there since they're not demonstrating anything significant by voiceover or action. And Adalind's back! Or so they'd like us to believe. I find it much more plausible that the potion worked and Elizabeth Lascelles gets to look like Adalind Schade, at least for awhile, thereby reducing the number of guest spots they have to hire Louise Lombard for.
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