From the first ep straight into the second! Or at least that's how it was put out and how I'm choosing to interpret it, given the conspiracy goings-on. Which puts last ep taking place a day ago, unless Portland time and Austria time are running on two separate tracks right now. Who knows? NOT US. Isn't it great? We open on a Christmas shopping scene with O Tannenbaum lyrics which are more focused on the original steadfast/faithful aspects of the German folk song than on the Christmassy themes it's been coopted for. Yes, I said it. You wanna get in an argument with a cranky, tired blogger about folk music? I didn't think so.
We have a couple teenage boys breaking into a car to steal presents and looking, frankly, like they've done this before. They're not completely inept at avoiding detection, is what I'm saying, though they could stand to move a little slower and look like they belong. Also, there's a Santa. And apparently this takes place in the Northwest Christmas Village, which a quick google does not inform me is an actual thing in Portland. It does look like a standard shopping district/affluent neighborhood, though I question the word "normal" in relation to anything in Portland. Anyway. Kids, stealing. Kids under a bridge, emphasizing that they're total jackasses. One of them hears something. One of them is gearing up to smash a snowglobe. I continue to be unimpressed, both with the length of this setup and with the kids themselves, though okay, they do not deserve to be switched and stolen and eaten. Tossed in juvie and taught to be productive members of society, sure. I'd be more inclined to interpret them as broke homeless teens if they weren't obviously well-clothed and well-fed, and if this ep weren't all about Krampus coming to take the naughty children away.