Love Potions And You: Grimm Grail Legends

Or, How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Whoever The Potion Told Me To.

We are far from done picking apart Grimm for its Arthurian and Grail parallels, but we've been waiting to get more of a mytharc for this season before combing through it again. I think, at this point, you can safely expect a flurry of Arthuriana at mid-season hiatus and/or at season finale times, followed by long stretches of accumulating data. However! We have at this point two instances of love potions used in the show, and I judge it only a matter of time before we get a third for Rule of Three reasons - though I wouldn't put it past the writers to include that in backstory rather than dropping it into a season arc. At this point I'd rather prefer it, because love potions get very old, very fast. Unless you want to count Juliette's coma and Renard's pure of heart potion as two instances, which I don't, really. We saw in SotH that Adalind's was fairly surprised that Renard took the pure of heart potion, which implies a whole lot of things, up to and including that she thought he knew more about how the potion(s) worked than he did. At any rate! Two for-sure instances of love potions, which means it's time for a brief refresher on love potions in Arthurian legends.

Qu'est_ce Que C'est Haven S3E11 Last Goodbyes

Previously on Haven: Haven had its first Troubled serial killer! *sniff* Our little town is growing up. Said serial killer took a lesson from Buffalo Bill, though I must say, he wears a better girl suit than that guy ever did. We found out from Jordan about the barn while the Bolt Gun killer found out bupkiss from the creepy brothers Teagues, like you do, and Audrey found the Bolt Gun killer's lair. Also, Claire's wardrobe took a turn for the decidedly dark and cleavagey. This Will Be Important Later, unless you've already seen the episode, in which case you probably know why.

So! Having all been refreshed on why Haven should really call in the BAU right about now, we begin. Once again, this is a joint effort, with both of us trading places in between other household chores (like cleaning my new house, I just have to throw that in there because it's awesome). So this thing is likely to be forever long, and we're still not going to play try and spot the join points.

This week on Haven: We begin with what I consider to be one of the more boneheaded maneuvers of the season, having a conference in the Bolt Gun Killer's lair! With a bunch of people you think might contain the Bolt Gun Killer. Because that won't make him wary or inclined to hurt you or piss him off in any way, of course. Brilliant job there, you two. Audrey brings in Claire and the creepy Teagues, apologizing in a very not very sincere way for them having to see this. I'm sure everyone involved has seen much worse, Audrey. The Teagues because they're up to their not-yet-bitten-out necks in all of this, and Claire because, well, a) she's [redacted] and b) she saw the former-dog-human-thing with all its limbs broken in the cage. And if that's not bad, I don't know what is. Duke seems to have an unusual capability to handle any kind of sight as long as he's not actively being threatened, so we'll go with that. And Duke is about the only person here I agree should be here, but we'll try and reign in the ranting about the difference between our concept of 'need to know' and Nathan's.

Behind the Scenes at Murderboarding: Reader Poll

Dear readers, we're rapidly approaching that time of the year when neither of the shows we're currently analyzing is on. While we have no doubt that we're capable of coming up with odds and ends of Grimm and Haven posts to fill that time, we thought now would be as good a time as any to ask you what you'd like to see us do next. We have, through careful selection and weeding out (read: watching a bunch of pilots recommended by friends and family and snarking about the ones we didn't like on Twitter), selected a number of shows that we feel capable of doing for you!

Over to your right you will see two polls, which close at midnight PST on December 21!

 The first poll is for shows that we would analyze all of, regardless of hiatus or cancellation status. For shows that are currently airing, we might watch to catch up and begin analysis with the most recent episode, or we might start at the beginning and work through; it depends on our workload both on the blog and off of it, how many eps we have to catch up on, and what you guys have to say about it.

The second poll is a bit trickier and requires some preface. We both used to watch Once Upon a Time. We really liked it, even! And then, by a series of plot twists that weren't, wooden acting, and atrocious scripts, we fell out of love and into loathing with the show. Kitty's a few eps more up to date than A is, but neither of us finished out season 1, nor did we pick up with season 2. If we do this show, we will skewer it. We'll also, of course, call attention to the things we do like - because there were at least things in some of the eps we liked, or we wouldn't have kept watching. There's a certain kind of fun to be had from picking apart TV shows you don't enjoy and explaining in minute detail why they don't work, but if that's not something our readers would enjoy as well, we're not going to put the time into working up the posts. So, do you want to see us skewer no more than three eps of OUaT? And if you have suggestions on which eps, either in specific or in general type, please leave them in comments.

When You're At Home: Sean Renard

At long last, it's time for the post that was the genesis of this little series. Renard started out as enough of a mystery (and still is, in so many ways) that we spent an age picking apart the set details in his condo when we first saw it. Then we started drawing diagrams of the layout. Now we bring all that information and stick it in one place, and see what we might be missing! (If anything.) Plus, going over the newly cleaned up condo scenes to see if there are any (in)significant and telling changes.

Internal Memo: Updates

To: Danielle Matheson <dmathes@[redacted]>
CC: Peter Torkarov <ptorkar@[redacted]>, Sam Connor <sconnor@[redacted]>, Eve Marlowe <emarlow@[redacted]>, Ash Dunlevy <adunlev@[redacted]>, Jared Engel <jengel@[redacted]>, Daifyn Ifans <difans@[redacted]>, Alec Cray <acray@[redacted]>, Thomas Marlowe <tmarlow@[redacted]>\
Date: 12/5/12
Re: profiles updated

Attachment: (unsub919-11312.docx) 20k
Attachment: (tbowen-eval-11312.docx) 11k
Attachment: (jmckee-eval-12312.docx) 17k
Attachment: (theguard-eval12312.docx) 18k

Quite a few new developments. We've shifted some things around from Bowen's case file to the BGK's, resent the old BGK for ease of comparison, and did a new profile working with all available data. Prelim profile only on the Guard; we expect to learn a good deal more pretty soon, but wanted to lay in the groundwork now.

AH, KC

Better the Devils You Know: Haven Profile (The Guard)

Date: 12/3/2012 (updated 1/30/13) (updated 10/22/13)

Name: The Guard

Founded: Unknown 1/30/13: est. 1970s 10/22/13: est. 1980s

Age: Unknown 1/30/13: est. minimum 30 years, maximum 50 years 10/22/13: est. 25-30 years

Place of Examination: Data compiled at Chandler/Hammett Investigations offices

Classification: Troubled cult

Observations: Though we have no direct observational evidence as to the structure and hierarchy of the group which calls itself the Guard, the indirect data available at this time merits a closer look at the attitudes and stated goals of the group. All members of the group wear the maze tattoo or a variant thereof, usually but not always on the inside upper left forearm. It is believed that while all members of the Guard have the tattoo, not all who wear the tattoo are members of the Guard, as we lack clear evidence to support the latter. (Subject PT-TR-#### may be considered an exception rather than a mark against, as he was deliberately attempting to gain membership in order to further his knowledge about the group, a member of whom was believed to have abducted Audrey Parker and killed multiple victims.) As far as known members, we have Jordan McKee (see file TR-BD-####), along with several unnamed members, all male. Max Hansen, the biological father of subject PT-TR-####, is known to have worn the Guard's tattoo, though his position within the group after over two decades in prison will never be known due to his death. Additionally, many members of the Glendower family wear the tattoo, though their Trouble prevents them from easily taking part in any meetings or discussions regarding the order of the Guard.

Putting Out Fire With Gasoline Haven S3E10 Burned

Previously on Haven: nobody quoted Pirates of Penzance, leaving us to do it for them. That goddamn gold doubloon is giving us fits of time loop confusion two weeks on. Oh, and Duke met his grandfather on the day Roy died. Also, Sarah. Also, Nathan. Look, there was a LOT in that ep. That's last week's previouslies, anyway; the ones they actually put into this go back to the beginning of this season. Just in case we missed all the implications from Twitter and the promo trailer that this ep, shit gets real.

This week on Haven: WELL THAT WAS A LOT OF METAPLOT. Excuse us while we do the oh-snap-vindicated dance for awhile and then settle down to unravel the threads, because everything we've been working on for this show ties in this week. My god. Also, just for the record, though my name may be on this as author, we swapped writer versus filler-in-of-details with abandon, so this is the first truly co-written recapalypse we've done. I suggest not trying to spot the author changeovers, because we'll probably have lost track by the time we finish. Also, for the record, this thing is huge. I mean it, this is nearing twice as long as most of our usual recaplyses, and you know how long those are. This is a veritable recapalypse. You have been warned.