Paul Is Dead Haven S5E07 Nowhere Man

Previously, on Haven! They brought Audrey back! And according to Millikin this was always the way they intended to do it, which makes us feel so much better about things (no, seriously, no sarcasm) and gives us a fair bit of glee. Audrey is of course naked on arrival, but Nathan is not letting on whether or not he can feel her touch, so.

Our first shot is the Cape Rouge! Alas, Cape Rouge, we will miss you. For those of you who didn't catch it the first couple times we mourned (I think this is the first episode set in large part on the Cape Rouge this season?), the boat that serves as the look and shell and establishing shot of the Cape Rouge actually sank recently, and I believe it's non-recoverable. Thankfully as far as production is concerned, they've already got a lot of establishing shots and everything else is shot on a soundstage, so Haven is still good to go. The poor people who owned that boat, though. At any rate, we start off in the Cape Rouge, with Duke pouring through the Crocker journal to find anything about body splitting or cloning or split personalities or anything like that. Duke can't find a damn thing, and the best he can come up with is weird mutant Trouble. The best Nathan can come up with is that maybe it was one he doesn't know about, since the Crocker family (of serial killers, thanks Nathan) (no, really, thanks, the snark gets Audrey to smile at the familiarity of it) probably didn't keep perfect records. Actually, Nathan, serial killers can be very meticulous to the point of mental disorder, so maybe they did keep perfect records! No, no they didn't, the Crocker curse is more like a drug addiction than the kind of compulsion that drives serial killers and I'm getting off topic. The end result is they have no idea what happened. But they're glad it did. Audrey is off in the corner, somewhat less damsely and more understandably shook up and fragile over what happened. She does focus more on the fact that it's just her in her body, Audrey Parker, and not Sarah or Lucy or Veronica or any of the others we've heard about so far, and that's a good thing to be focusing on. But then they also have the demon in their basement, and Audrey is in favor of giving her over to the Guard. Which I actually find unusual or unlike her, but not in an out of character way? It's a very much in character reaction to what Mara has put her and everyone else through, and I like that they went there. Duke, of course, is also in favor of this. We're in favor of it too, guys! Motion carries? Wait, no, we don't actually get a vote, dammit. Nathan doesn't want this to go down until Dwight gets back into town, because Dwight left town? And suddenly I see why they fridged his sister, maybe, although it's still irritating me that there's a sister in the fridge. Who wants to bet this is Adam Copeland's paternity leave coming up, yes? Yes.

Hail Hydra Grimm S4E01 Thanks For The Memories

We're going to try something slightly new with this season of Grimm, partly because frankly the writing last season made us incredibly sad, where the acting and directing and everything else did not. And partly because, and this is just the nature of the beast, Grimm is a network procedural. We started out this blog because we enjoyed chewing over the metaplot, the Royals, the world-building implications into a pulp and getting to analyze the shit out of all of them. And it's not that we don't dearly, dearly love having a scooby gang and friendships that are meaningful and the thing that gets you through the day as much if not more than the romantic relationships. Those are great things to have onscreen! They just… aren't what we started up analyzing. So we're going to aim for shorter is better, save in places where the metaplot kicks out anything like useful information. Ha ha. Ha. Ha. And we were so hoping because it was a season premiere. Maybe next ep when they're not still rushing the cleanup from last season's finale?

The Secret Job Haven S5E06 The Old Switcheroo (Part 2)

Previously on Haven: Vince and Dave switched bodies! Dwight and Gloria switched bodies! Nathan got another of his brilliant fucking ideas to try and bring Audrey back out, which led to Mara faking it like the lying liar she is to Duke when he talked to her about the hotel room in Colorado. The name of the Troubled family is given! Duke and Nathan switch bodies! The boys attempt to fool Mara, Dave!Vince finds the thinny in the Doohan backyard in Manteo, none of this can possibly go anywhere good. It's a pretty quick and dirty summary of last ep only, and I'm really looking forward to the possibility that they'll drop the two parter shtick going forward. Maybe? Hopefully? Please? Not that I think it was kind of them to fling a double-length season at a writers' room that's spent four years adjusting to the pace of a 13-ep season, but I remain unconvinced that this was the sensible way to go about it.

We pick up back in Haven, not at the Gull as we might half-expect but with Jeffrey the mental patient exhibiting remarkably few signs of psychosis. Apart from forgetting that he's in standard hospital whites, or not thinking to replace them at least, which I think is as much a function of personality and habit as it is of genuine lack of mental faculties. Cabbie notices! Cabbie wants cash, and if not cash he's going to make comments about well you're a mental patient. Which gets him bodyswapped, with the sort of apology that says Jeff knows exactly what his Trouble is and how it works and how disorienting to people it is. Poor cab driver is duly discomfited, including some physical acting that suggests he got bodyswapped with a woman. Probably his wife. Ooh, that's going to be fun.

The Manteo Job Haven S5E05 The Old Switcharoo (Part 1)

Previously! Oh our first glimpse is of Dave's adoption file and the cave and the thinny and possessed!Dave nearly dropping into said thinny. And being more possessed after. That's not good. I'll be over here getting the booze while we get the semi-short recap of talking to Audrey rather than Mara and how well that worked up until Mara found out Audrey was in there. Uh-HUH. Because that's going to totally convince Nathan she's gone. I believe that. Thousands actually would. Nathan, not so much. Although if we're getting into technicalities I can believe that Mara will eventually choose to accept the memories and emotions associated with Audrey and form some kind of synthesis, because how we remember things affects how we think about them and ourselves, and she's stuck with that now the same way all the AudSarLu constructs were stuck with memories of someone who wasn't really them, either.

Next morning, or some morning not very long after the cabin of really disturbing interrogation scenes that make us feel sorry for Mara, Mara's still not a fan of pancakes. You know, while I appreciate on some level the fanservice and in-jokes that they're doing with this, surely Audrey had another meal she liked? Even assuming she's in there I'd be sick of the same damn things by now too. Some standard gloating over how she doesn't like pancakes, the plan won't work, Audrey's dead, yadda yadda. Although she does point out one major flaw in this plan, which is that it requires her to have utensils, which gives her weapons. She will now insult Duke's tacos (could be worse, could be waffles) and get threatened with force-feeding. DUKE. You're supposed to be the good guys, don't even fucking start that shit. I'd throw a fork at him too, but I'd make sure it hit. Neither of you is making this whole thing where we try not to sympathize with the Evil Cackling Evil any easier right now. Especially not with Duke about to offer to create holes in order to feed her. DUKE. SERIOUSLY. I know you miss Audrey and you feel like shit in general, but oh my god that is not helping, either with getting Audrey back or with getting cooperation off Mara. For once I'm with Nathan, let's discuss strategy. Out back on the docks of the Gull where many a serious conversation's taken place over the last four seasons. Duke will now switch up providing the voice of reason, or at least the voice of Nathan you're completely fucking fixated would you consider the possibility that you're wrong? No? No. Not even with new and disappointing data about what Mara didn't know wasn't hurting Audrey, and now that she does, well. Bye, Audrey. Duke protests that he can't handle someone that hateful, essentially, looking out of Audrey's face, and hasn't he done enough, though he's pretty careful not to frame it in those words. Nope! Sorry, you're going along for the ride, Duke, and Nathan's just had an Idea. Possibly to probably not a good one, either, based on his track record.

This Quintessence of Dust Haven S5E04 Much Ado About Mara

Haven S5E04 Much Ado About Mara

Previously on Haven! Jodie shoots beams of concentrated light, isn't THAT fun. Dwight accused Duke of hiding shit, which was true, Nathan continued to fixate on Maraudrey to the probable, yes, retention of Audrey's personality in there but let's not forget that this is actually a complex moral and ethical question. Something that I remain unconvinced the writers are aware of, in their relentless pursuit for the Ultimate Love Story. Duke needs to release a Trouble or die! Mara will help him! Everyone who's not exceedingly suspicious of that, raise your hands. I'd sit on mine except I have to type.