Be Unbroken Haven S5E25 Now

Previously, on Haven. CroaShat was a manipulative asshole of a would-be father, Vince decided to go be a barnvatar because that seemed more useful than grieving Dave and probably killing himself, Laverne became the police station in the noirest episode ever to noir, Duke got pwned in the black-eyed horror of Croatoan, Dwight got his daughter back and is not sure how this is a trap. CroaShatDaddy continues to be abusive but reveals that he can use the Troubles however he damn wants, including to save baby Mara's life, and Duke is blaming Nathan (and Audrey) for his becoming a killer. I… cannot say he's entirely wrong there.

We return to Audrey having gone back to the station, presumably having walked? It's night, she's making her bed on the camp cot in the chief's office, and Nathan is being adorable with his snacks. Aww, she still loves Baby Ruths! Alas, that is granola but he is happy to see her! Ahem. Laverne's apparently decided to dispense only the healthy stuff, or as healthy as you can get out of a vending machine. Oh Laverne. Per Nathan's nudging, Audrey updates him on how much of a world of shit they're in, which is to say: lots! Several worlds' worth. (Say that five times fast.) He's not making threats, he's just promising to make people his idea of happy, which is clearly warped, she's not wrong that that's in a lot of ways more scary than an outright threat. An outright threat has recognizable boundaries on it, not necessarily limitations but it presents a defined scope. A complete stranger coming in and imposing his ideas of happiness on everyone else? That's a lot of unknowns to deal with. And of course he desperately wants his daughter back. I find it interesting that Nathan makes the point (and Audrey doesn't argue) that she's not Croatoan's daughter, whereas they were pretty quick to allow as how she was Charlotte's daughter. Partly that's a pacing issue, but partly I think that's also an indication of how thoroughly they're rejecting Croatoan and all his works. As it were. In the meantime, we revisit for the umpteenth iteration that they need to fix the aether core and that no they don't have any brilliant solutions, nor has Vince come up with anything now that he has access to the databases in the controller crystal. Blah blah Duke, blah blah holing up and Dwight's keeping Vince away from Duke, etc etc etc exposition. Though I do find Nathan's unshakeable faith that they're going to get Duke back awfully adorable and heartrending in light of what happens. But adorable.

Will The Circle? Haven S5E26 Forever

We'll just skip the forever long previouslies and get right to it. Audrey's come back to the station and she's giving Stan instructions about getting the town to stay away from the cloud. Stan's in street clothes! Awwww. And he tosses out a gas leak cover story joke, because that's gonna work so well when a few weeks ago you explained all about the Troubles and whatnot. Although I admit in my vague headcanon for post-series, "gas leak" has totally become an in-joke with the entire town. Audrey is not really having with this levity, telling him to go spend time with his nonexistent family. He says he doesn't have one now, which could be, given he's been awfully stereotypical bachelor cop for the series, the PD's been disbanded and that was his family, or could be a variety of awful things happened to whatever family he had, or could be he moved in from outside Haven and now he's cut off and doesn't expect to ever see them again. That was horribly depressing. Stan deserves all the good things for putting up with this shit for so long, why you so fucking mean, writers. Audrey would like to spend time with her remaining family, except Nathan is not so much with the here.

In the Blood Haven S2E11 Business as Usual

Previously! Lucy Ripley, Audrey belonging to Haven, Nathan courting Audrey, Duke and the tattoo and his complete lack of answers. Evi working with the Rev and then dying! The Rev being in the middle of all of this. And then dying too! Well, I'm glad about one of those things.

Wings of a Dove Haven S5E24 The Widening Gyre

Wings of a Dove Haven S5E24 The Widening Gyre

Any ep title they can play on-the-nose with we can do better? Ahem. (For those of you who've noticed, Cash covered this one.) (A: Though my FIRST thought was Lonesome Dove, because even MORE on the nose.) Look, anytime anyone invokes Yeats' Second Coming for TV we are going to at minimum tease and possibly mock. Do you know how many times that poem has been overused? There's an entire TV Tropes page about it. (Suffer with us!) However, if we start in earnest now we'll never stop, so: previously, on Haven! Dave took out Croatoan's ability to wipe memories and erase time, and died in the doing, breaking Vince. Dwight is cracking at the edges to the tune of Not Losing Anyone Else, Audrey flails at the barn and acquires a Howard, however briefly due to Duke fucking with the aether core and going full evil. Whether that's possession or his choice is still severely questionable! Enjoy trying to figure it out! Fuck knows we're not sure.

To Serve Man Haven S2E10 Who What Where Wendigo?

Previouslies tell us that Dwight is a bullet magnet, the poor bastard. Dwight just so you know, you can't actually protect people if you're dead or in hospital recovering from bullet wounds and/or cracked ribs. (Kevlar only goes so far.) I tease about the urges under his Trouble because of one part sympathy and two parts ow. Evi was working for the Rev! She swears it was because she wanted to help Duke find out about his past and/or protect him from the Rev, which shows a staggering degree of naivete considering her usual line of work. Also a significant attachment to Duke despite how they clash on a regular basis. And she also severely overestimates her importance to the Rev and his men, getting herself shot and killed when she assumes she's not expendable. Oh honey. You were definitely not used to people playing games this rough. Hell, Duke's not, not entirely, though he's more so than Evi was, as witness his swallowing back grief and rage to pretend like he's going to be a good little follower and find out his answers. Anyone who knows Duke, knows that revenge is probably worth more to him than answers, and that he'll take both if he can get both, but I'd say it's clear the Rev is playing all the odds. We have a last shot from last ep of the Rev versus Dwight-Audrey-Nathan, which is an interesting cluster and certainly not at all representative of Dwight standing in for Vince.

The ep proper opens with… none of Our Heroes! So we have a Trouble that's not what it seems and they're flinging us data as well as red herrings. Yay! Instead, a newscast over the radio, a trucker flossing in his rearview mirror while we hear about a brutal murder of a dental hygienist, really you guys? And oh look they've decided it's a serial killer with so far seven bodies that they know about. They even have a description! I suspect this is because the murders all happened in different jurisdictions and looked like crimes of passion; these are the kinds of things where you file all the forensics and then hope for a break in the detective footwork. Our trucker is halfway posited as the killer as he goes about his business, since he also leers and ogles all over the girl working the gas station who comes out on break. But no! Then a guy fitting the description right down to the rose tattoo walks out and is bashed into by some teenaged boy, who spills his coffee, apologizes, and runs faster. Our trucker seems to think he can go be a big damn hero with the handgun he keeps in the truck for protection. Dude. You don't even keep the fucking thing in the glovebox? It's just hanging out there? Your safety precautions suck and you should feel bad. GET YOUR FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER OH MY GOD. Well, at least we KNOW he's supposed to be a moron. Rounding the corner brings a whole lot of animal-tearing-something-to-shreds noises from the shed out back, and then we get monster-shaky-cam footage as the trucker gets shoved hard out the door by whatever was making those noises. DUN DUN DUNN.

Toxic Masculinity S2E09 Lockdown

Previously on Haven! Nathan's getting ousted by the Rev, Audrey's getting courted by Chris Brody, and Duke's getting manipulated by Evi. So at least someone's getting made happier by the machinations in everyone's life!

I Must Live While Others Die Haven S5E22 A Matter Of Time

Everyone stop for awhile to groan over the double pun in the ep title with us, while we go over the previouslies. Yes? Yes. Previously, Hayley or Hayley's Trouble are the key to saving Haven by way of making a thinny whee. Vince was a complete fucking idiot who thought the best plan was to discuss plans for saving Dave from Croatoan IN FRONT OF HIM WHEN HE KNEW DAVE WAS POSSESSED. I'm pretty sure that one never got fully erased from his memory, is what I'm saying, and even if it did, the body on the floor should be a big fucking clue. Nathan coming back from the void is crucial, which will be fun since William's there too and Hayley refuses to use her power for the purposes of eventually getting rid of it. Kid. Have you seriously never read Harry Potter? Splinching is a thing. You don't want that thing.

Nathan does not want this boulder or this void air or whatever in the void is making him sick, but there's a lot of shit Nathan doesn't want and bulls his way through despite that. Because Nathan. Also I question the wisdom of sending in the guy who can't feel things to a place that's that toxic to humans. While it may lengthen the time he can stand being in there, if there's any kind of nerve irritation/pain that goes along with it, it means that he doesn't notice how bad it is until, say, shortness of breath and blurry vision come into play. William shall taunt him a second time! Free me and I'll help you, yadda yadda, nobody believes you, William. Though he's not wrong about Nathan doing poorly. William babbling about all the terrible things Mara's going to do is definitely like provocation! A lot of provocation, since Nathan starts shouting about how Mara's not coming back and ALSO no seriously NOT COMING BACK SHE'S DEAD YOU MORON. DECEASED. KICKED THE BUCKET. SHE IS AN EX-MARA. Ahem. I will allow as how this is enough passion and Nathan is fucked up enough that it definitely registers as true. Or Nathan believing it's true hard enough that he's got some kind of alternate proof, even if William looks utterly stricken by that idea. He's not wrong, either, there's not really anything he knows of that could do that. That's in Haven. So now they have new and interesting information to exchange and negotiate from. Such as negotiation can happen when the only thing William was living for (as far as he's ever said) is now gone.

Cold Bitter Mist Haven S5E21 Close To Home

Previously! Duke talked to Walter and we hid behind the couch. Also we get a flashback to the girl with the explodes everything she touches Trouble. Oh honey. Walter gave Duke visions of a seriously post-apocalyptic Haven in which Croatoan won, let us not go there, 'tis a silly place. Nathan ran back in time, figured out the Coulton family has a Trouble that'll let them open thinnies if they have a magic ring, and left Duke a note with the creepyass kid from 1983. Who turned into a creepyass adult. Who points him to Hayley, not that creepyass adult knows it. Hi Hayley!

NATHAN'S HOUSE NATHAN'S HOUSE HI NATHAN'S HOUSE. AWWW it's a tiny yellow house how cute! The house number is 247. I'm going to throw something at someone now. He and Audrey are having a relatively quiet start to their morning, she appears to have mostly moved in with him though by what point I'm not sure. Also I suspect this means that his house is well away from Trouble Alley, or anywhere else that might be a serious problem. He's bringing her coffee! They're doing one of the things we do, actually, which is grumble at the insufficient data and chew on it some more until they realize that they really don't have enough. Interrupted by Audrey being adorable at Nathan and warning him about the hot coffee and him being cute back and oh god stoppit both of you. This might be the most stereotypically couple-y we've ever seen them, she gets to check him out half-naked in the morning, there's coffee, they're talking about their plans for the day, and it's promptly turned into a semi-argument about yes this is awesome! You should stay with me and not go into the void so it can keep being awesome, Nathan. Yeah that's not going to happen, Audrey. There's some really sweet bantering about how tired they are of saving the world, and the thing is, it's believable! They should be! But it's also how they work, and what they know, and there's a definite undercurrent of that running through the banter too. What the fuck would they do without crises on a near-constant basis? WHO KNOWS. Not them, that's for sure. Speaking of which, he has to go get the controller crystal in the void when Duke comes back and yes that's a when and not an if, Audrey, I know you're hurt and feeling betrayed, but one of the things he needs is a fucking vacation from the crazy.

And Some Are Dying Haven S5E19 Perditus

No of course we're not planning to use the lyrics to When The Man Comes Around for the entire reason of Haven that would be dorky we are never dorks. Also I have a bridge in Halifax to sell you.

Previously! Deadly Tarot, memory wipes, and fucking Walter. And Croashatner. Let's take a second to highlight something here that we shamefully didn't go over in detail last time: Croashatner (barring a proper name for Charlotte's husband) says my aether. You turned my aether into something. Prior to this we were working under the assumption that this was William's stash, which was admittedly smaller. So what, were they working together the whole time? Did anyone notice this or know it and it just never came out on camera? Or, because let's face it, William's balls did look a mite punier than those in the cave, did they never find William's box o deathtruffles but instead Croashatner's entire mining cave full of the damn stuff? INQUIRING DAMN MINDS. Anyway. Audrey has the aether core, Charlotte has the knife, I have a burning desire for a proper sound sampler so I can see if there's another voice under Shatner and the distortion, and then Charlotte's dying in Audrey's arms while thankfully imparting some final information. Between last episode and this one, Charlotte wins the prize for actually conveying some useful fucking data with her last breaths instead of just "Oh I always loved you" or "Oh you are so doomed, it's the *ludicrous gibs ensue*"

When The Man Comes Around Haven S5E18 Wild Card

Previously on Haven: aether aether aether, wait there was COMMUNICATION? People told each other things? Amazing! So now everyone knows Charlotte's got enough aether to end the Troubles. At least in theory. Also, Duke found Seth in Halifax and they're roadtripping to North Carolina to find the weird preacher guy who can pull evil black tar out of people's souls. Uh-HUH. This won't go strange places at ALL. Or predictable ones. Also, Dave's still having those weird visions of Croatoan and people dying and the No Marks Killer. Which are the same thing. Which we have been saying for how long now?

We open with another vision! Oh YAY. Complete with shakycam, unknown school? office? building, and a guy getting black goo sucked out his eyeballs. Also a screaming woman or girl, it's too shaky to get a good sense of age on either of them. Actually yay, though! Because this time Dave manages to get not only a location, but a clock! And a potential survivor, at only half an hour out, yes Vince they are going now. Hey! That also resembles communication! Albeit not with Dwight and Nathan and Audrey, which would also be a good thing if you're going after what you currently believe to be some kind of serial killer. Dave. I'm just saying. There's a balance between so cautious and fearful you don't do anything about the shit you know, and rushing headlong in without fucking telling anyone. Find it. Please.

Damn Your Eyes Haven S5E17 Enter Sandman

Previously on Haven! Haven vanished from the world as everyone outside of it knows it, with Duke now stuck on the outside. Troubles, Troubles, and Sandman. Who hates that name, because of course.

And of course the second the show proper starts up I hear the cheerful boingy strains of Mister Sandman, send me a dream. At this point not only is that song overplayed, it's a big fat indicator that bad shit is going down or is about to, sort of like Walking on Sunshine was the serial killer anthem for a while and any time you hear the low dulcet tones of It's A Wonderful World you know we're panning across some horrible battle or blasted wasteland. I'm guessing because the rights are cheap and of course because there are only so many songs on the theme of Sandman to go around, but some songs are just sort of hardwired in by now. And on the other hand it makes for cheap useful shorthand.

As Night Is Dark And Day Is Light Haven S5E16 The Trial of Nathan Wuornos

Previously! Dwight points out that the fog bank/shroud/whatever the fuck at least keeps the miserable shit contained to Haven and doesn't inflict it on the rest of the world. He's not wrong! There's a darkness Trouble that eats people. Literally, eats the flesh off them. Duke got sort of an episode of peace and quiet and then his boss was an asshole and he ended up semi-adopting a friend's teenage daughter. With a Trouble to the tune of Kitty Pryde. Oh yay. Dwight is keeping shit from Audrey, always a great idea, and that's a clip from s2 and Duke's first blood-sponge incident where he finds out what the Crocker Trouble is. That can't possibly be good, considering blood sponge plus both freaky eye-things plus Duke theoretically NOT being Troubled anymore means he has some unpleasant surprises coming. Oh, and we have another serial killer, this one they're calling the No Marks Killer, as opposed to the Eats Your Everything And Isn't A Wendigo killer. Nathan and Kira went off to track down the aether while Charlotte got the power plant working again, and then Nathan came back having found the aether and declared her dead, nearly starting a riot in the process.

So we'll pick up where we left off: at the point where Tony the fiance is trying to incite a riot. Jesus you're a dumb asshole. I get that he's upset and grieving but, as McHugh points out when he comes out to play Dwight's enforcer, this is a great way to set off everyone's Troubles. And get more people killed. And can we, y'know, not? Cue Dwight coming out to take stock, and getting a lot of runaround from everyone. I admit freely that Nathan's a decent liar when he thinks it's in a valid cause (namely, keeping knowledge of the aether secret), but telling Dwight in the middle of the crowd that he needs to talk to him privately is noooot exactly helpful. Especially since he compounds matters by continuing to lie about Kira being dead! It only looks like a lie because we know Nathan, and he lies by overdoing the sincerity and looking at people straight-on, which is one of the harder tells to spot. But it also fits with the data we have, namely unless Nathan got a second Trouble, how the fuck did he survive the darkness? Or unless there was a thinny/portal/something down there, which we had no indications of. McHugh is not being exactly helpful, but he is providing just-the-facts-sir for Dwight: Nathan and Kira left the power plant, he won't say where they went, now she's supposedly dead. Meanwhile Tony will continue inciting a riot by asking how many people lost someone because of the power outage. Seriously someone put a gag on that man before he gets people killed. Oh wait. That wouldn't help. I count approximately six hands raised, which is fewer than I expected, honestly. He goes on to claim that Kira was their ONLY hope against the darkness Trouble, which is patently fucking untrue: lots of people have been helping newly Troubled control their Troubles for the past two weeks, something everyone there should know, and on top of that the assorted glowball Troubles were what saved them the VERY NIGHT BEFORE. So it is entirely fucking unreasonable to assert that Kira is their only hope and so on and so forth. It's semi-plausible in terms of what a grieving probable-abuser does, but it's bullshit and at least some of the crowd should know that.

What's Done In The Dark Haven S5E15 Power

Previously, on Haven. I think "Everything went straight to hell" is still accurate, don't you? Mara is theoretically gone for good, but hey, it's not like magic is an exact science. Someone's Trouble has warped Haven into a pocket fog dimension, with a black mist eye pulling serial killer, the policing has been turned over to the Guard on the basis that they have more experience, and Duke has fucked off for parts unknown where no one has heard of Haven.

We start off with two very good signs that everything has gone straight to hell: resource lines, and using the local schools as emergency shelters. These are pretty much universal in extremis behaviors! We also get a good sign of how normalized the Troubles are because Audrey's outright saying "If you know your Trouble, please tell the men at the door." So, yeah. It's not so much a new order of things that way as acknowledging what was always hidden. Haven's finally admitted and is starting to come to terms with itself as to what it really is. The rest, though, as with all major all-encompassing crises, yeah, that's a new order of things. Resources are scarce, the future is uncertain, that means there are going to be tensions, people trying to exploit the power they've given, people having too much power and severely fucking up with it (Dwight I am looking at you) and general bad actors. Give it a second.

Run On For A Long Time Haven S5E14 New World Order

So. It's the last season. Everything's gone straight to hell. And we're punchier than we've ever been, so here's the deal. For those of you who are amused by such things, we're starting a "Fucks Given" jellybean jar. Guess how many times we dropped the f-bomb while we were watching or discussing and working on the recaplysis. Whoever gets closest wins a No-Prize. (Which is basically a shout-out on the blog, if you never read the Marvel comics at the right time.)

Everyone buckled in? Got your safety gear on? Everyone got a firm grasp on their buttocks, their wits, and their boozahol? Because we're all going to need it. Previously, on Haven! Charlotte is Mara's mother. (No, not Audrey's, even if she really really wants us all to believe that. Creator, sure.) Mara made Duke into a Trouble bomb she plans to set off unless her mother lets her out of Haven. Honestly while I firmly disapprove of her methods, she clearly hasn't been taught better. Dave is having mysterious visions of a lot of people dying and the word Croatoan carved into a rock. This just gets better and better! Audrey talks Joe Senna down from his Trouble, which is surely only here because it will be Important Later, and oh, Charlotte is a terrifyingly manipulative evil bitch who's willing to kill her own daughter and make Audrey be the whatever-non-human-being she is in order to get someone who won't point a gun at her. Charlotte has not met Audrey when she's super pissed off. Oh, and Duke exploded with Troubles, as per Mara's threat. Seriously what the fuck did you expect, Charlotte.

Choose Someone Else Haven S5E13 Chosen

Previously on Haven! Audrey is sick. Audrey is undergoing Spiderman-style clone decay, I forget the exact name for this, really you guys? Mara wants aether to fix Duke. Nobody believes her except maaaaybe Duke, and he really shouldn't. We get reminded of the existence of the open thinny in Manteo, which has apparently been nothing but a plot device to get us to Bad Decisions time at the end of the episode? I really hope they pick that up next season. Dave has Weird Shit and visions and Croatoan and no, none of that makes sense yet either. Even at the end of the ep. Cue showdown with Charlotte, who turns out to be one of the… whatever aliens/superhumans/whatever the fuck they are, from the other side where Mara and William came from. Why? Because she's Mara's mother! Well, she phrases it as Audrey's mother, but even for the heinous villain Charlotte turns out to be I can sort of forgive her eliding that when confronted by a woman with her daughter's face.

This week… okay I'm going to be upfront with you guys: for us, this was a giant fucking mess of an episode, the magic rules don't make SENSE, they break their own rules at every turn, and given that we've spent four seasons with every woman who isn't Audrey Parker and is on the show for any length of time getting completely fucked over by the narrative, this is… really kind of gross, by the time we get to the end. Apparently if you're not a self-sacrificing empathetic savior figure, you don't have worth as a woman on this show. I'd try and point at Gloria as the exception except she's raising her grandson in the twilight of her life and gave up a peaceful retirement to come back and be the coroner in the middle of the worst bout of Troubles; if that doesn't scream the Crone version of sacrifice and empathy I don't know what does. So if you don't want to read a lot of snarling punctuated by cheering for Dwight going NOPE YOU LIED IN A BIG WAY I'M OUT, GOT SHIT TO DO, I suggest you skip this recapaplypse.

Fatal Attractors Haven S5E12 Chemistry

Previously on Haven! Mara manipulated Duke into letting her off his boat. This has historically been regarded as a Bad Move. Dwight keeps getting manipulated by Charlotte and not wanting to admit it, which is also a Bad Move, though possibly not as bad as Mara. Insufficient data, which is our current and perpetual refrain. And now, Vince's as well! Oh, and Mara managed to seduce Duke.

We'll take it, apparently, from the morning after. Where Duke is already dressed and Mara is naked and using her sexuality as a weapon again. Some more. I'm honestly pretty skeeved out this ep by the extent to which that's portrayed as both the natural inclination of women (I mean, there's good reason for that in our society when you're a woman working to ensure power over men, but still) and portrayed as a horrible thing. But we'll get to that point in awhile. The main point here is, Duke is feeling vulnerable and therefore, dressed and heading out after the aether rather than hanging around for cutesy morning-afters, or the second bout Mara tacitly offers, or anything else. You can just assume that every time we hear about assumptions the boys are making about each other's motives this ep, we're sitting and swearing about TALK TO EACH OTHER. Duke thinks he knows where Dwight and Nathan moved it! Duke, Mara is playing you and using someone else to do it. Duke. No? No. She keeps insisting that she's in this to fix Duke and for the sex, which is kind of fucking ridiculous given her early behaviors. You know, the ones where she murdered and assaulted at least a dozen people in her attempts to get back through the thinny and get William? Those? C'mon, people. The remainder of this scene is what I would consider, and I'm pretty sure some part of Duke considers, transparent attempts to manipulate him into believing that she's on his side and wants to fix him. No really. No really, you do believe her, seriously, what is this, remedial HUMINT? Okay, the distract with snark tactic is slightly better, I'll take it while Duke makes his escape. Thinks he makes his escape.

Trust But Verify Haven S5E11 Reflections

Previously on Haven: how do you solve a problem like the CDC? If you're Dwight, you adopt the new person and are all YES PLEASE YOU ARE SHINY AND PRACTICAL AND NOBODY ELSE AROUND HERE IS. Gee, it's like she was kind of tailor-made for Dwight. Or he was handpicked by her. Or both? Vince was investigating things. Mara was a manipulative fuck at Duke some more, who at least for now seems to be giving in rather than playing her, which is mildly irritating. And Nathan is freaking right out over Audrey still being sick even after Pete's contagion Trouble got, um, dealt with. This seems reasonable, honestly! I'd be pretty freaked too.

We open, oh, probably a day or two after the last episode, not more than that judging by lack of decomp on the body in the crime scene photos. Plus these seasons have been getting what feels like increasingly compressed in their timeline. Nathan is bringing case files instead of coffee and they have one of those quiet, adorable bantering moments. Except Audrey being tired, not just tired of the Troubles and the murders and wishing she could still fix them the way she used to, not just with the barn but with her immunity and the sense of purpose it gave her. At any rate, Nathan's the one holding the intelligence and willing to say shit straight out here while Audrey reaaally would rather not be thinking about what Duke's up to. Whether that's using his Trouble by choice or letting Mara off the boat; I wonder for the umpteenth time how much knowledge of who Mara is and what she's willing to do Audrey learned while she was fighting for her existence. Because I'm sure the answer is "lots" but she's also not talking about it to anyone. About much of anything. Though she will still almost pick a fight with Nathan about whether or not he thinks she's a really real person. Oh Audrey, have you been paying any attention? Nathan will believe you're real with his dying breath. Has! Several times, depending on how you measure it from what happened to Nathan versus what he was expecting to happen. But she is still sick, has a racking cough and probably fatigue, judging by the snippiness, and Nathan, now that Audrey is in need of a kind of support he's better able to give, has picked up the common sense ball! Oh Nathan. It's true, too; they don't know the details of how that Trouble affected Mara and Audrey, and with the loss of her immunity who the hell knows what else might've happened to her. Long term effects are never any fun.

A Grave Man Haven S5E10 Mortality

Previously on Haven: there was a plague! That affected Troubled people! We sat and grumped at the TV about how IT'S PETE, OKAY, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT while everyone was busy trying to make the assorted Troubles emerging not, you know, kill everyone in town. So from an outside the situation POV we were prepared to cut slack. The CDC showed up in town, Dwight got put on cleaner duty because that's exactly what the guy who's gone from Ranger to Guard/cleaner to chief of police and leader of the Guard wants to go back to. Haven gets put under quarantine because that many Troubles are not, in fact, possible to hide. Oh, and creepy fucking dancing bears. Also Dwight broke, tased Duke, and may have broken Duke. I'm still holding out for Duke is playing everyone, personally, but this ep put some laaaarge dents into that theory.

A Plague On Troubled Houses Haven S5E09 Morbidity

Previously on Haven! Mara calls Duke on splitting her from Audrey and keeping them around. Chris Brody turns up, which means we're having probably more than the usual quota of s2 callbacks. Dave's leg and the CDC are a little beyond a Trouble and straight into a problem.

Let's start with oh goodie, more of Dave's fucked up dreams. I think there's a little more green on the blue filter than there has been, which might not mean anything other than oh look a lot of trees. And then, right, chasing through the forest, no more filter which means, I guess, all the way out the other side of the thinny and into our world? Or that's the suggestion of it, at least. Then running into the deer and killing it, that we've seen before. The deer morphing into a still-alive naked young woman who screams and has black fog coming from her face is a new one on us. Sort of reverse Greek, isn't it? CROATOAN carved into the tree is also old, but masses and masses of dead? unconscious? paralyzed? people dressed in colonial-era (probably meant to be Pilgrim-era) clothes. It's blurry and foggy and hard to get more than a rough count, but that looks like… eh, fifteen or so people, all ages, men and women. I think I am going for paralyzed, because one of the figures is sitting. And then we see the thinny from this side, glowing blue and green and all kinds of ominous!

The Secret Job Haven S5E06 The Old Switcheroo (Part 2)

Previously on Haven: Vince and Dave switched bodies! Dwight and Gloria switched bodies! Nathan got another of his brilliant fucking ideas to try and bring Audrey back out, which led to Mara faking it like the lying liar she is to Duke when he talked to her about the hotel room in Colorado. The name of the Troubled family is given! Duke and Nathan switch bodies! The boys attempt to fool Mara, Dave!Vince finds the thinny in the Doohan backyard in Manteo, none of this can possibly go anywhere good. It's a pretty quick and dirty summary of last ep only, and I'm really looking forward to the possibility that they'll drop the two parter shtick going forward. Maybe? Hopefully? Please? Not that I think it was kind of them to fling a double-length season at a writers' room that's spent four years adjusting to the pace of a 13-ep season, but I remain unconvinced that this was the sensible way to go about it.

We pick up back in Haven, not at the Gull as we might half-expect but with Jeffrey the mental patient exhibiting remarkably few signs of psychosis. Apart from forgetting that he's in standard hospital whites, or not thinking to replace them at least, which I think is as much a function of personality and habit as it is of genuine lack of mental faculties. Cabbie notices! Cabbie wants cash, and if not cash he's going to make comments about well you're a mental patient. Which gets him bodyswapped, with the sort of apology that says Jeff knows exactly what his Trouble is and how it works and how disorienting to people it is. Poor cab driver is duly discomfited, including some physical acting that suggests he got bodyswapped with a woman. Probably his wife. Ooh, that's going to be fun.