Tuesday, October 30, 2012

House Rules Haven S3E06 Real Estate

Previously on Haven: Duke was a damsel in distress! Nathan was stoic and withdrawn and also a moron! Claire and Audrey had bonding time. Duke and Audrey had bonding time. Nathan and Jordan had... whatever the FUCK that was. Weird bonding time for everyone! And trollfaces. Lots of NOW KISS trollfaces. Audrey hit the same point with Bolt Gun Kitty and I have been at for a bit. Also an attempted lack of moral ambiguity, but that didn't go over so well, so I'm sure we'll be right back to moral ambiguity for everyone this ep. Especially with them all stuck in a goddamn haunted house together; seriously, I'm impressed none of the cast or crew tried to kill each other filming this. If you haven't seen that documentary, by the way, it's here in the last 15 minutes or so. (If that doesn't work, a partial version lives here and here.)

Before we can have moral ambiguity, however, we have to have utter cluelessness about horror tropes! This is smart, you guys, very smart, walk into the rumored-to-be-haunted house. In Haven. On Halloween. Nothing can possibly go wrong with this plan. Especially not a house that likes to eat people. That would definitely never happen in Haven, though admittedly I was wondering for awhile if they were going to pull out the man-as-house trope or if it really would be haunted and inexplicable (as compared to the Troubles, anyway). I blame the Grimm Halloween ep for that. We get a whole bunch of shots of mirrors, which in the dim lighting could potentially be paintings but of course aren't. There are a few paintings in the house, but not many for as many frames as are on the walls. And your first clue that there's something sentient here, guys, should be the fire turning on when Tina says "romantic." Ewww voyeur house I'm going to need a steel wool shower after this ep. Your SECOND clue should have been the MOVING CHAIR. Your THIRD clue is the creepy fucking music talking about reunited, and is anyone surprised that it's on the third iteration of truly disturbing behavior that Tina tries to get the fuck out of there? I thought not. Meanwhile Chad is a dumbass. Once I recover from banging my head into the wall at the people who failed Horror Genre 101, Duke's pouring liquor from a hip flask into drinks for him and Audrey. (One assumes that's spiked cider. Mmm spiked cider. Guess what was at my party over the weekend.) Because he is a GOOD friend who just keeps on being there, as this post so eloquently points out. The Herald's done up a bit for Halloween but not over the top spooky. Mostly very kitschy ghost and pumpkin type things, I assume because even the Teagues get their fill of creepyass things going on the rest of the year. (Where 'year' is a highly relative term, given that time doesn't work right in Haven, but that's a whole 'nother post.) And/or because they're trying hard to project the image of harmless old men. You'll pardon me while I hide behind the couch while Audrey neatly lampshades that implausibility for us by muttering about being drunk enough to believe anything they say. Not that they're actively lying in response to questioning right now, just that nobody is overfond of the Teagues these days. Duke's "we can try" is full of that sardonic "not enough booze in the world" tone, with a layer of subtext that says he'll stick by Audrey no matter what she decides to do with the creepy brothers. Though he probably hopes it involves them being far, far away. Awww, Duke. We know you will.

Claire interrupts by stealing Duke's mug of whatever that is, and I'm not quite sure what her purpose is other than to rile Duke a little. Or rather, it seems like her purpose was to get him to go away so she could check in with Audrey, but Audrey's the one doing all the offering of information; Claire's barely pushing as compared to normal when she wants to know something. Which means either she's getting used to dealing with Audrey or there was something else she had in mind to discuss that was interrupted by the Trouble of the week wandering into the Herald. At any rate! Her attitude as Duke sighs and rolls his eyes at her is very much "go along now," so yes, presumably she wants to talk to Audrey alone for a bit. Though there's an element of... well, of Buffy-ness to her that I think might as much be Claire being in character as a Slayer as her deliberately trying to rile Duke/get him to go away. Because why do one thing at a time when you can do three! Audrey generally ignores their byplay in favor of watching people wander past in their costumes, and then Claire draws her attention back with a gentle (for her) nudge about the lack of costume. Yeah, I see what you did there, Claire. Audrey does too, but she's too spiky these days not to respond to that kind of a jibe, certainly not with someone who knows her history and her presumed future. I would point out that in our world the Orionids occur in late October, and unless this party is intended to be very early October or our timeline in the latter half of this season is severely compressed, we're going to be into November by the time Audrey's disappearance is scheduled. In 2010 (the year we're supposedly still in) their peak date was on October 23. Additionally, counting one ep per week from Stay puts us at 3x09, 3x10 latest for Audrey's disappearance. So I have to assume that the writers are going to clump a bunch of eps together chronologically; we already know that we've got a two-parter coming up so presumably they'll work the timeline so that 46 days really does translate over the course of the season. Which still doesn't answer the question of when the hell the Orionids fall in Haven-verse. Sigh. My kingdom for the writers' murderboards.

Anyway! Audrey finished the digital composite of the Colorado Kid, yay! Which of course she wants to share with Claire, Claire's the one who had the idea to do that in the first place and it shows progress in her sessions with Claire and, well. There's a lot there, everything from maybe now Audrey can get out of being headshrunk to maybe now she can get somewhere with her irritating amnesia surrounding her past lives. Claire, on the other hand, is dubious, and I don't think (based on the rest of this ep) that this is just reverse psychology. It is enough of an about-face from where Claire started out that I wonder if she's not being influenced by someone else? But we don't have the data to say that for sure. I might tell the strange perpetually reincarnating savior of the Troubled that remembering isn't such a good idea, too, with those mental blocks in place. Given how little anyone knows about the first causes here, it's entirely reasonable to go "those are there for a purpose, and that purpose might be to keep us all safer." Unfortunately, whatever argument they might have gotten into about Audrey's Agent Howard in her subconscious or whether or not remembering is a good idea will have to be sidelined until they get into the possessed house. Because here comes the plot! Complete with a plot hook stick shepherd's crook. I would love to know just how she got out of that house, since as far as we know Holloway's control doesn't extend to sending apparitions all the way into town. Phone calls, yes, which is a reasonable extension of the intercom system I guess. Though as scared as she was she probably didn't think too long or hard about why she'd gotten free, and then she gets dead before we get an answer.

Ahem. Some brief exposition later, thank you writers for skipping the unnecessary bits (though I like the part where they all assume telekinetic boyfriend), Nathan bristles over Audrey taking Duke with her. Yes, Nathan, if you're going to shut Audrey out and generally make an ass of yourself, Audrey's going to find other people to lean on. Don't sound so put out. I'd say surprised, but he's not, really. More resigned. And he's got a murderboard up in the background for Bolt Gun. There's an X-ray from Lucassi's office and the picture that might be the beginnings of a composite based on the body parts Bolt Gun's taken so far. (Or maybe not, since that looks like a woman with dark hair, which we know isn't the case. And so do they. So what gives with that one?) Also a couple stills from the woman who was killed in front of the ATM, a picture of I think the woman whose nose was cut off lying in a pool of blood, and the rest of the autopsy report, and I can't make out the others. He hangs up with Audrey as Jordan comes walking down the hall, probably more because he's feeling guilty (one, he probably feels like he's cheating on Audrey even though they were never quite dating and two, he's keeping things from her) than because he's worried about giving Jordan police information. There's not all that much sensitive in the end of this phone call anyway, though good chief of police sending someone for backup. It'd be nice if it weren't so heartbreaking and frustrating, seeing Nathan step up to more of a leadership role because he now has anyone to delegate to. Meanwhile Nathan hastily covers up the Bolt Gun murderboard with a map of Haven and a Police Association Regulation Meeting flyer over top of that and gives it a Very Serious look, complete with touching finger to chin. Nathan, honey, you are not fooling ANYONE with that. Especially not Jordan, though admittedly she doesn't have any basis (yet) for believing it's specific to the Guard rather than not giving away current case information to a member of same. She doesn't call him on it, though, because she really shouldn't spend more time than necessary associating with Nathan at his day job. For both their sakes. Door closed, and I'm going to use information we finally got in this ep to note that all the care with which Jordan carries herself, that? Is probably self-defense training. I would guess from before her rape, frankly, because she strikes me as the kind of person who's neck-deep in blaming herself for having "let" it happen. It's also the sort of care a person who's brittle and afraid of breaking (themselves, others, both) would carry herself with, and we get all KINDS of reasons for that this ep. I assure you there will be a profile post this week. And that's a nice stereotypical black burner phone, and Jordan flirting with Nathan more. With a dangerous look in her eye that says this really is a test, and by the somewhat wary, somewhat intrigued look on Nathan's face he knows it. I'd love to know what kind of a test in particular, but I suspect Jordan's using this to see if his interest in her will outweigh his tendency to go chasing after whatever case Audrey has whenever she has it.

Speaking of the case! Audrey and Duke wander up to the house after a number of establishing shots which we now, of course, know are meant to show us Holloway's "eyes" by showing us all the mirrors. At least the front door's not just hanging open this time. Duke gives us a bit of exposition about the rumors associated with the house, I bash my head against the wall some more because Roland Holloway really you guys (and now I will de-boogeyman him by calling him Rollie in my head the entire rest of this ep), and in classic haunted house tropes (possibly aided by the fact that Holloway could make that house a Faraday cage if he wanted) there's no cell reception. Audrey, I know you're a cop, but safe money is that the kid's dead, please just leave. Goddammit.

Back to Jordan and Nathan, who're drinking beer from a 6-pack on a park bench like teenagers. Just in case we needed more horror tropes! I'm not sure what Jordan's smiling about there other than maybe getting to watch Nathan swallow beer, which I will admit is a pretty pretty sight. And you know, as much as I distrust every new character they've introduced this season, I have to appreciate the contrast they've set up. Claire is blunt to the point of tactlessness and says whatever she's thinking. Jordan, by contrast, pushes and questions people with body language, giving them Significant Looks and letting them fill in whatever they want. I tend to favor Jordan's approach, myself, unless I already know the person well, but it's a nice study in contrasting personality to go along with the contrasting coloration, Jordan's dark to Claire's light. Yeah, they're so doing that on purpose. At any rate, Jordan cocks an eyebrow at Nathan a couple times and he gets defensive about Audrey. Yes, she is your partner, not that you're acting much like it right now. Jackass. There's no way anyone buys the "just" part of that, though, between the looking away and the face-touching and Nathan, honey, your stoicism isn't doing you any favors. Though it amuses me that Jordan's reaction, while complicated, is also very much "you're an adult and if you can't say what's really going on I'm going to take you at your word and talk about what I want." And then Holloway-as-Audrey calls Nathan, forestalling him trying to explain what he and Audrey are to each other or making out like teenagers with Jordan. Because the traditional Facebook status "it's complicated" would not even BEGIN to cover it. Or relieving him of the necessity, and knowing Nathan I would say much more the latter than the former. Stoic idiot. Who probably guesses that the "unknown number" part of that phone call is suspicious, or he should even if he's not saying so outright. Jordan looks irritated at the interruption, and only gets more irritated as he hangs up and more so as he says he needs to go. That little smirk covers a deeper irritation and I know it's partly the hair combined with the wardrobe but she reminds me of no one so much as Emily Prentiss working undercover on an unsub. All of the end of this scene, in some ways; it's that combination of brittleness with an inner strength she's not sure is real but the audience can see. Though Jordan's one helluva lot more dangerous, just going off her connections to the Guard (and I never thought I would say THAT). The look on her face as she walks away says that sometimes she wishes he could feel pain. Yeah, us too, though not because he's ditching her to go work a case. I don't think this is about him being a cop, either, though that's certainly not helping; this is about Audrey specifically. I would love to know what the Guard/Jordan have against Audrey, between this and the initial scene with Jordan and Nathan it seems fairly obvious that they don't like AudSarLu or consider her one of them, despite the various indications that Audrey's powers are as much a Trouble as anyone else's. Nathan tries, too little too late, to placate his new... not-girlfriend, because calling her his girlfriend would require Nathan to admit to having emotions. Which would just be unacceptable. Sigh.

Cut back to Audrey and Duke in the house, and as she talks we realize we're maybe ten, twenty seconds behind where we left Nathan, since Holloway can only project other people's words as or after they say them. Either he can't piece together bits of recorded speech to make something new or he hasn't thought of it, and given how long he's had to brood over his revenge against AudSarLu I would assume the former. Thank you, Audrey, for lampshading the mirrors. I only wish you would do it literally, though I greatly approve of the eventual solution. Oh Duke. If only it were that simple. Not only do we get mirrors, for the first time we get shots of mirrors reflected in mirrors, infinitely back, from Audrey's POV. Because that's not symbolic or anything oh look it's a flashback. I must have missed the symbolism due to the anvil landing on my toes. Hello, Lucy Ripley. Hello, secret room. Hello, Duke being the caretaker and everyone going "aww" at him some more. Well, that and also NOW KISS, because it takes Audrey reminding him that she's awake and can stand for him to take his hand off the back of her neck. Which is far more of a lover's position than a friend's, I'm just saying. And the story of her flashback will have to wait, because she's tracked blood behind her. Just her, not Duke, despite the fact that they were in the same hallway with the body hidden behind the bookshelf. Thank you so much for that, Holloway, you creepy bastard, we see what you did there. Cue credits!

When we come back it's to an establishing exterior shot of the house, and just in case we'd forgotten about our erstwhile pair waiting outside, well, Tina and Claire are standing around looking damn cold in their Halloween outfits. Guys, I know you didn't expect this, but a) it's Maine and b) this is Haven. Tina I will forgive because she seems fairly ignorant of the Troubles. Claire gets no sympathy, and a leather jacket would totally be in keeping with her costume. Silly fanservice is silly. Tommy comes up, and it's notable that Claire's comfortable enough with him to greet him as Tommy already, though she does that with most people. Oh, hey, Holloway's luring them in more! With exactly the words best suited to the situation, which since he engineered the situation, well. (I will not, for the curious, be trying too hard to keep track of the ways in which the house shifts around them. That way lies madness. All work and no play makes A a dull girl. Ahem.) Kitty and I take a second to swear at the screen about DON'T GO IN THERE and the three of them go to find Audrey, Duke, and Chad's corpse. I wince briefly about the mistreatment of all those lovely old hardcover books and one of those looks kind of like my omnibus of Winnie the Pooh, huh. No significance to the books this time, though, or at least we don't get a long/clear enough look at them for me to be sure. I'm sure some of them were Stephen King novels just because the props department has a bunch sitting around at this point. Either that's awfully thin wood or Holloway wants Duke to break through it. I mean, Duke's no 98-pound weakling, but solid wood shouldn't be that easy to open-palm strike through. He does, however, make a disgusted face at the body; yay characterization consistency! For all that Duke's capable of violence, he doesn't like it. It makes me wonder, a lot, about his reasons for taking up smuggling. I am really not sure what kind of a death would cause bleeding from the eyes like that without also having eye-gore involved, but sure, Holloway is Troubled, I'll allow it. And Duke lampshades the how the hell did he get back there. The house was hungry, Duke. Omnom dumb teenagers. No, guys, Audrey didn't call you on the intercom. No, really. Yes, the phone call is coming from inside the house. The very pissed off, very showy house, who is now going to separate off Tina and blatantly lock everyone inside. Audrey sighs and attempts to figure out what the fuck is going on, since it's not Chad and it's probably not Tina even if that's the logical explanation, though why she doesn't poke at Claire or Tommy for potential Troubles in their family line I do not know. I'm still reasonably convinced they'll both come up Troubled simply because every major character is. No, I'm not forgetting the Teagues, I just think we haven't seen what theirs is yet. Tommy, honey, I understand the urge to shoot your way out but I have to agree with Duke given your lack of knowledge right now. Oh my god don't put your gun down there.

Once I'm done facepalming at that bit of horror 101 idiocy, I pause to snicker madly at Tommy's response to Duke snarking about Dracula. But aliens and mermen, we've got those here! Oh honey, you have NO idea what you've landed in. Or maybe you do. Hey, Tommy, share your damn secrets with us already, wouldja? Audrey separates them into girls versus boys, excuse me, a cop with a gun on every team. That's a very, very poor way of saying that she wants Duke to be able to keep an eye on Tommy and that she trusts him over either of the other two. Or an attempt to get Claire alone to talk about that flashback, that's also a strong contender. It makes no logistical sense to say "every team needs a cop with a gun" in response to Duke saying they should team up. NONE. It makes a great deal of logistical sense to split up the two people most familiar with dealing with the Troubles, though. I'm not sure if that was writer error or an attempt to show how rattled Audrey is these days that that's her justification. Whatever the reason, it's a bad piece of debate. Completely illogical. And yes, Tommy, your gun's gone. You should probably tell someone about that. No, seriously, stop thinking of more pirate jokes to crack at Duke and tell someone. My god, people.

Audrey starts talking about her flashback with Claire. Guys, the hippocampus and amygdala have more to do with memory than the prefrontal cortex. Though that is where certain aspects of personality are stored, and given Audrey's past lives that's an interesting statement. At least I think it is, though it may also be that writers don't do science. I spend a little time twitching over the statement that doors once opened can't be closed, given the context, and any further discussion is interrupted by a random creepy shadow! Hi Nathan's shadow! Which I assume is deliberately shifted to that position so that Audrey stands a better than even chance of shooting him out of sheer nerves, since that would serve Holloway's purposes remarkably well. But no, they're better trained than that. Yes, Nathan, do show us the mysteriously disappearing-reappearing front door! Which is definitely not in the same place that it was when Duke pointed at a random wall and was all "the front door just disappeared." Just to emphasize that, Nathan says that's the way he came in and Audrey looks deeply concerned.

While she explains what the hell is going on, we go back to the Herald! Because life just isn't the same without the Teagues. Less full of secrets, for one thing; Nathan's got a few years before he can catch up to them. Vince is worrying, and Dave is telling him to stop that shit, more or less. With a tic at the left corner of his mouth that says he wants to smirk at his older brother but doesn't want to start a massive fight in the middle of their Halloween party. (They are, by the way, dressed as standard hardboiled detective types, which given Chandler and Hammett makes me giggle all the giggling. I can't even side-eye the writers, since this was written and filmed before we ever started the blog. Unless they have a TARDIS, in which case I want them to share.) Vince isn't satisfied with the brushoff, goes to double-check, which since they do have a vested interest in keeping Audrey alive I'm less twitchy than usual about. Plus I would not bet on Halloween not being a Thing in Haven, of the sort where everyone hides in their houses and hopes the Troubled don't have their afflictions wake up due to Halloween pranks or whatever. He turns to Dave with alarm and sees the alarm and maybe a hint of gleeful malice reflected back in his brother when he tells them where Audrey and Duke and Claire went. Yeah. I'd like to know their history with both the prior incarnations we know they were around for so much. And with Holloway.

Checking in with Duke and Tommy at Holloway, now, Duke's hallucinated far better things than this before. I will not disagree with him there. Though they probably are going around in circles; I can't imagine getting this many people into the right place at the right time is all that easy, even for a sentient movable house. (You may be pleased that I have made no House of Leaves references yet; that's because I'm NOT THAT MEAN. Plus I have that book on permanent mental block in my head, despite this ep's best efforts.) A scream! I assume Jordan's, though from her lack of talking about what she walked into I would not be surprised if she saw Tina get impaled by the house and she doesn't want to sound crazy in front of all these strangers so she doesn't say anything. At any rate, it leads to some incorrect assumptions on Tommy and Duke's part, though understandable under the circumstances. Jordan isn't wearing her gloves, I'm not sure if that's because she wanted the extra protection it would afford her or what. It looked to me like she was wearing them on the park bench earlier, so I wouldn't place any bets. Audrey, like a good cop, hauls out her gun since a fellow officer is lying on the floor in pain for no apparent reason. And oh look, blood writing! Holloway even went to the trouble of making it nice and neat for us to read. Exactly as you would expect, the message is meant for AudSarLu. Lucy, in particular, at least according to Holloway. (There's a part of me that wonders if she's done this every 27 years. The morbid, easily amused part.) Ad break on the blood writing! Yay! When we come back after that same exterior establishing shot again, everyone would like to know who the hell this is and what the hell just happened to Tommy. Jordan's not exactly forthcoming, but Claire steps up. Unlike in her introduction in Stay, I will not complain here about her giving away information about a former patient. Because she has reason to believe that the others are in some danger from Jordan, and because she's not wearing her gloves right now (which presumably Claire knows the significance of more than anyone else), and for all that I don't trust Claire I don't believe she wants to watch people try to touch Jordan only to get hurt. Jordan admits to being a former patient in so many words, which at least sort of helps everyone relax a little, okay, she and Claire know each other in a professional capacity. Though her defensiveness about no longer being a patient is cringe-worthy, given the circumstances under which she stopped seeing Claire. Duke, you're being a jackass out of fear, I recognize that defense mechanism. Tommy notices the tattoo because he's a good cop, and comments on it I'm assuming because he's still rattled from everything that's happened, not least from being ten-times-worse-than-tasered. (I'd be more curious about when he was tasered except cops go through a lot of different things in their training, often including experiencing the nonlethal methods of subduing suspects themselves in order to know what it is they're doing to them. Or that's the theory.) Normally he's more closemouthed than to ask stupid questions like "aren't we looking for a serial killer with that tattoo," especially because he knows perfectly well the tattoo's on the outside of Bolt Gun's forearm. And then Nathan comes to her rescue because his white-knight complex is approximately as large as this damn house. Sigh. Audrey knows the significance, having been in Nathan's position, of him being able to touch her. And knows how addictive that ability is for him, or can guess; I don't think Audrey is as attached to it in the same way because she has all these other Troubled people who need her. So there's no shortage of her being able to fulfill her own white-knight complex. Oh hey, the phone call is... I will be good and not say it again. Holloway, you are one creepy asshole.

Outside the house, the Teagues have a moment of "let's go in and rescue them" but Dwight's not quite there yet. Hi Dwight! I still think that outfit screams Harry Dresden, ax murderer, but I'm reliably informed that it's a gunslinger outfit. Which is no less facepalm-worthy. I mean. Dwight. The gunslinger. That just goes above and beyond irony into REALLY, DWIGHT? REALLY, WRITERS? territory. (K: And at the same time, what would be scarier to a man who attracts bullets? Sleepless fridge logic!) I still want to know what his connection to the Teagues is, what it is that makes him willing to work with them beyond a shared desire to keep the Troubles quiet. Because I'm pretty sure it's more than that. I'm not sure if Holloway was taunting them with the open door and waiting for someone to take a step toward it, or if he actively dislikes Dwight/Dwight's family for some reason. We don't really have any information either way, but the mere fact that Holloway exhibits wariness toward Dwight (I mean, locking a bullet magnet in the house with that many guns would be INTERESTING and probably do Audrey more psychological damage) makes me like Dwight more. Though don't forget about that Trouble. This Will Be Important Later. I would also love to know what the Teagues' prior involvement with Holloway is, not least since it almost certainly involves Lucy Ripley as well. One door slam and sarcastic remark later, the three of them set to figuring out how to deal with the death trap of a house while Nathan and Jordan have a lovers' spat. Excuse me, an argument.

Jordan got in the same way as everyone else, and I have to assume Holloway let her in because he doesn't recognize her, which means she probably doesn't know the secret to the house. Not because he knows exactly what her presence will do, though if she had the combination of pissed off fearlessness combined with wary sheepishness on her face as I would expect if she's telling the truth about having come to apologize then Holloway could've guessed she would contribute to the overall conflict within the house. She turns around his overprotective bullshit, as well she might. I don't trust her, I don't trust the Guard, but she's had reason to believe Nathan might be serious about wanting to be around her for her own sake, and learning that he's tracking a Guard-related/Troubled serial killer is plenty of betrayal to set her off. Nathan, you are so lucky that you can't feel her. Oh, hey, more creation of conflict and dividing the party! Metaphorically as well as literally. I like this in that we get to see Duke's reaction and his snark about a daily quota of death threats, oh Duke. Though he can't contest her assumption of what he is, given what he knows about Simon and Grandpa Crocker. It makes him defensive and prone to overreacting, though, more so than usual. Holloway gives them just enough to severely question Nathan's motives and ability to tell right from wrong these days, and Duke looks really, really hurt and betrayed by that revelation. Poor Duke. Tommy doesn't quite want to believe it, though Duke if he's having problems believing it sure as fuck isn't going to show that in front of Tommy. I somehow don't think he does, though, which makes me incredibly sad. Oh boys. Kiss and make out up already, dammit. Meanwhile, Nathan tries to justify himself some more and Jordan smacks him, apparently so angry that she can't come up with a better reaction, and stalks off to find her own way out. Jordan, you also fail Horror 101, never go off alone in a haunted house. True to form, Nathan runs after her both because DON'T RUN OFF ALONE and because he wants to try and fix things, only to find that Holloway's separated them. Where's that jar.

Claire and Audrey do not have the jar. What they do have is some uncomfortable questions about what Nathan's doing with Jordan. I'd quite like to know the answer to that too, though I think I mean that more the way Claire does than the way Audrey chooses to answer it. Sigh. Claire nudges in more typical Claire fashion, but then Audrey sees the painting. I'm pretty sure, but not positive, that Holloway led them there on purpose after hearing about Audrey's flashbacks so that he could hopefully browbeat her into remembering what Lucy did 27 years ago. I'm also curious about how much Holloway knows in general. What can he find out? Can he use the phone lines in general to eavesdrop? In which case: CREEPY. Really, his general omnipotence seems to indicate that he knows a fair amount about who and what Audrey is; possibly not more than anyone else in this ep but enough to make me give the writers all the hairy eyeball. It gets a little lost in the rest of the ep (I suspect on purpose) because so many of the other people do know what she is and how long she has, but there's no real reason for Holloway to know all of this, not that we're given. Audrey's halfway explanation of deja vu is pretty clearly the "that's what my flashback was about" answer, though Claire doesn't get a chance to ask for details because, well, more dead and decaying people. Which is exactly what I needed right after Grimm! Yay! No, wait, the other thing. Also, while that certainly could be 27 years old, it could also be somewhat older, judging by the state of those skeletons. I'm just saying, we have nothing but Holloway's word and Audrey's flashbacks to tell us for absolute certain that this hasn't happened before. (Though, hey, it may have with a different Holloway. I'm sure Haven wouldn't be Haven without a possessed house. Sigh.) So we've got our murders-suicide, because Holloway is an abusive fuckhead who had the power to literally isolate his wife and children from the rest of the world. Seriously, that's abuser 101. Complete with a note that's nicely reflective of the blood writing from earlier, and we get a not at all significant look up at the mirror and then another flashback! Hello there Colorado Kid. You look remarkably like Nathan, which is of course not significant, not foreshadowing, and definitely not an iteration of the pattern. By the way, I have seen the speculation that Cogan is Nathan's biodad, but we saw his biodad already in Max Hansen, which apparently nobody remembers? Or maybe nobody quite believes, I suppose I can't blame people for that one. But between the Trouble and the animosity between Max, Garland, and Vince, I do believe that at least to the best of their knowledge Max was Nathan's biodad. What I would buy is that Cogan was Nathan's mother's sister, or some other form of relation.

So, the flashback. It's not just me and Kitty, right? The fact that Audrey keeps getting flashbacks (ones that hurt her, which is a change from before) while she's looking into mirrors, Holloway's "eyes," is a good indication that there's more to Holloway and his relationship with AudSarLu than meets the eye? Pun intended. Our flashback is similar but not identical to what just happened here; for instance, I take it as further indication of the split between Audrey and Nathan as compared to Lucy and James that Claire is with Audrey instead. Lucy moves with more certainty, which is a bit odd given that Audrey's muscle memory is that of a cop and an FBI agent. In some ways it reminds me of what Jordan's body language would look like were she not coming off a brutal rape and awakening of her Trouble. Very much the kind of woman who's regularly all out of bubble gum, as Kitty's noted about another badass woman in Grimm this week. The mirror is different in the flashback, or maybe it's just been rotated 90 degrees; hard to say for sure given Holloway's control over the house. The walls are a different color, too. HI COLORADO KID. This and the next flashback are a little clumsy in how they remind us which incarnation of AudSarLu we're dealing with, and in giving us a name for the Kid, but it is necessary to keep that plotline moving. So now we know that Lucy Ripley was here shortly after the Holloway women died, and that his wife blamed him, and that Lucy had reason to fear something like this was going to happen. And last but not least, that she was trapped in the house with the Colorado Kid, whom we recognize mostly by his denim jacket, in this flashback. (Then Kitty linked me to the google image search for Flagg in the miniseries of The Stand and I promptly freaked the fuck out. K: Share my horror!) The blood spatter on the wall indicates the relative freshness of the deaths, since it's not yet dry. I thought for a bit that the bodies were beginning to decay (because if you're going for realism, eyes don't stay closed until after rigor mortis has passed), but I think that's just the standard mis-set; very few shows get that one right. I'm still clinging to my pet theory that this has happened before with earlier Holloway generations, because I simply don't buy that Rollie knows this much about AudSarLu by accident. And he seems tied to the Teagues in ways nobody's talking about. MURDERBOARDS, DAMMIT.

Audrey wakes up before we can get anything more useful out of her flashbacks, and Claire is suitably worried. She's a psychiatrist, not a practicing medical doctor, and she has a patient, no kit, and a murderous house. (But not a murderous House, luckily for everyone. /bad crossover joke) She damn well should be worried. Audrey says no, this is her fault, which is typical Audrey since she doesn't have the full memory of this place back yet. She's supposed to help the Troubled, therefore she failed Holloway rather than him being an abusive fuckwit. Oh Audrey. (Drink!) One ad break and different establishing shot (overhead this time) of the house later, she explains what she saw from 27 years ago to Claire. Yes, Claire, we got that, thank you, you're awfully rattled. Did you go into psych partially because you don't like the sight of blood? Because Haven is a bad town for that phobia. Audrey is determined to try and remember how to get them the hell out of there, an excellent motivation, and Claire starts going off about subdural hematomas. Nosebleeds? Not actually one of the more common symptoms there, though loss of consciousness, disorientation, etc. would all qualify. So on the one hand I can see why she's freaking out. On the other, Audrey clearly is not experiencing normal human physical reactions to much of anything, including paranormal human abilities. I'm just saying, this warrants an MRI, and I'm not just saying that because I'm fascinated by the prospect of what might turn up. (Well, I am, but that's not the only reason.) Certainly it's flawed diagnosis to jump to these conclusions. Before Claire can fuss more, Nathan shows up! Thank you, Nathan, you've given us reason for exposition about Jordan with your looking for her! Claire's scared of Jordan, though not in the way that to me indicates that she's seen Jordan use her touch deliberately or been the accidental ("accidental"?) recipient of it. It's a more intellectual fear than, say, what we saw out of Dwight in the extra footage from Stay. She knows the details of Jordan's case, probably down to the medical files from her rape, but she doesn't talk about them to the others. Which is on the one hand a good patient confidentiality move and on the other, if she's going to give away that information she might want to mention that this is what triggered Jordan's Trouble in the first place. Particularly since people aren't going to pick up on the implication under these circumstances, I'm just saying. But, okay, and also three days? Again? Writers, I'm giving you all the side-eye. You and your obsession with the Rule of Three and that's not touching Audrey as the third named incarnation, which is another 'nother post. (Secretly y'all love us for these things, right?) So Jordan tortured someone, and Nathan hasn't brought the jar with the surprised face on it either, I am disappoint. Whoever this is he's still in a coma, so I am duly reassured that it's not Dwight, since there's definite history between those two. Nathan and Claire bristle at each other, and sorry, Nathan, but I gotta go with Claire on this one. You don't know a damn thing about Jordan McKee, you apparently haven't even run her file which, it's implied, is actually in police records. Which, by the way, gives us a reasonable timeline of prior to Spiral (1x13) for Jordan's rape, since I'd assume if it had been while Nathan was Chief he'd know about it already.

Audrey would like all of you to stop talking about the other Troubled person who has nothing to do with locking them in this house because that's a tomorrow problem, and she's right. She's rattled enough that she lets Nathan go off on his own to find Jordan, though, which is probably a combination of exasperation with Nathan being target-fixed, hurt that she's been replaced in his affections so easily (or so it seems to both her and us), and still being woozy from the flashback. We get several shots of the lights dimming and brightening, it's too slow for classic flickering lights. Three shots, actually. I'm about to book a flight to LA to smack someone with a carp, I swear. Once I pick my head up off my keyboard, Tommy's trying to play with the intercom system and Duke's resigned to the fact that they're isolated. Because he has experience with these things. Audrey and Claire find them! Yay! Duke has something to tell her about Nathan! Very not yay. Not that Audrey is inclined to believe him, even with Tommy backing him up. And Claire has an excellent point though she doesn't make the further leap that someone's setting those two up. I mean, besides the writers. Nor does she make the leap that Audrey ought to be able to touch Jordan, since she's immune to the Troubles. I suspect the writers are saving that one, either for increased emotional impact of there being two people Jordan can touch or to demonstrate that Audrey's suddenly lost her immunity. Of course Nathan can explain. He'll always explain, because he's so good at that. I wipe the sarcasm off my keyboard, Audrey steps out to go look for him, and crossing the threshold was a bad idea. The door slams, Duke is (of course) first to to rush to it, and Holloway is pissed off some more. Though I'm pretty sure that's the noise he makes when shifting rooms around, since I don't think he can do it quite that quietly. Certainly he's making a point with the noise right now. Claire needs a Captain Obvious hat to go with her cheerleader outfit and vampire stake, the door unlocks again, and lo! That's a different hallway. Duke is also failing Horror 101 and goes haring off into the distance while Claire and Tommy exchange a look of how is this my life. I know how you two feel.

Another, more Dutch-angled exterior shot, and though we might think we're about to find out how our gruesome threesome outside is doing, no, we see lights on and then we cut to Jordan walking around by herself. In wholly impractical high heels, I might add; if that's what she wears to work her feet must be killing her after a shift at the Gun 'n Rose. Jordan's alone! The floor is out to get her! Duke's alone! The light keeps slow-flickering. We can't actually tell how proximate Duke and Jordan are, but the intercutting implies that they're nearer each other than they are to anyone else in the house. The intercom rings! Jordan, don't trust the creepy intercom don't trust the creepy intercom oh look, Holloway used a door to bodyslam you down the stairs. Great. Meanwhile, Duke's clearly heard something but he can't figure out where it came from, and when he passes through another doorway there's a gun on the floor. We might expect it to skitter away in true haunted house fashion, but that would let Duke in on more of the game than Holloway wants right now, and giving the volatile ex-smuggler (no really he swears) a gun increases the chances for mayhem. And that's exactly what Holloway wants.

Cut to Audrey wandering the hallways and you know the worst part about this house? Putting your back to the wall does nothing, and it's almost everyone's instinct in a situation like this. I can't tell for sure, but I strongly suspect Audrey anticipates finding out what's going on by virtue of having been cut off so deliberately. Most Troubled people don't know who she is, though, which means this is something from her past, and that's going to drive her to seek out this person (house, whatever) in the interests of learning something. I could do an entire essay just on the threshold symbolism in this ep, but she crosses over another one as the intercom starts to ring and then gives her a snippet of Nathan talking to Jordan from earlier. Her poker face is far better than Nathan's right now, though, and given the large viewing mirror it's safe to say this is where Holloway used to talk to his wife and children before Mrs. Holloway killed them all in despair. Whatever she does or doesn't suspect, this is out of the ordinary for the house's behavior that she knows it's time to call Holloway out, and hello, Iain Glen, you do creepy so well. I almost think Audrey keeps her back to the mirror on purpose here so that he can have the satisfaction of thinking he's snuck up on her; the slowness of her responses both to the door closing and to Holloway speaking/appearing in the mirror is what makes me think that. Especially because he tries to dodge her initial question, which she doesn't let him get away with. Though she doesn't yet call him on the fact that she's Audrey, not Lucy. We'll come back to this in a bit!

First we have to have Tommy and Claire discovering Jordan at the bottom of the stairs, and if I didn't already believe Claire only knew about Jordan's Trouble intellectually, her instinctive reach for the other woman would convince me. Nathan's angry and protective and white-knight-y, almost like he thinks these two had anything to do with it. Nathan? You're being. A. Moron. Quit it. No, he won't quit it, he'll blame Duke! Though I almost wonder if that's a deliberate effort to keep up the I-hate-Duke front. Regardless, Claire tries to chew on him and he's all rarr-smash. Nathan Wuornos, you have better manners than that, USE THEM. My god. Just to emphasize the white knight crap he's pulling with Jordan, he scoops her up in his arms bride-style REALLY NATHAN. Sigh. Though I'm not sure that's not as much for everyone else's protection as hers, this way there's less chance of an accidental limb flailing out to hit someone. Plus he can use her like a shield. Or a battering ram, as Tommy holds up his hands and backs away, whereas Claire doesn't look as concerned about that compared to the way Nathan's being a jackass.

Back over to Rollie and Audrey, where we have a horribly stereotypical villain monologue. I'm glad they got Glen for this, because in lesser hands it would have been really cringe-worthy. As it is, I'm still throwing up my hands going "you're a moron and you need to read the Evil Overlord list." Because come on, it's not like Lucy didn't get out last time, he shouldn't be gloating until it's all over. Then again, isolated for 27 years, he's far more likely to make slips like that than a proper Evil Overlord. (Look, I have standards, all right?) Audrey has this look of growing horror/realization, and she seems to have a certain confidence in her past selves' altruism that I'm not sure is wholly warranted. That if Lucy left him here it was for a reason, not that she's telling that to the psychotic man-house-Trouble-thing, but it's pretty clear in her reactions. He even gives away the homeworld by telling her about the mirrors and speakers, which will be his undoing. And then Holloway shows her the two men she cares about most, one with a gun and one with a human taser. Yep. This can't possibly end badly.

After the ad break, Dwight takes a whack at the door. Oh Dwight. And the ax handle breaks, which, goddamn. For a couple reasons. I have to assume that he's trying this approach first on Vince's recommendation rather than out of any belief that it'll work. I giggle over "expert on evil architecture," which is probably the first time all season I've actually laughed at the Teagues rather than wanting to run and hide behind the couch. They know more than they're telling, of course, but this time Dwight isn't questioning them about any more than he needs to know to do his job. Yes, do stop bickering and start communicating with your pet cleaner, boys. (STILL not convinced Lucy was the only iteration to deal with a Holloway. Frequently we have at least two generations of any given Trouble, though admittedly not always. But with someone so connected to a past incarnation, I'd expect at least one more. Rule of Three, if nothing else.) Also, you two need to have more faith in Audrey. "Do nothing and they're dead anyway" my ass. Lucy got out, Audrey will get out, and their vaguely romantic/stalkery feelings for Sarah and/or Lucy give me the screaming willies. It amuses me that Vince asks about a flint before he asks about a lighter, which to me indicates a greater-than-apparent age. Going by actor ages Vince is 70 and Dave is 66, which I know, I can't believe that either. But if that's so, lighters have been around for plenty of time, long enough for the Teagues to have adjusted to current common household items. If they themselves date back to the founding of Haven, though... that's a longer habit to break. ANYway, digression over miniscule detail over, I will now laugh about Dwight carrying potassium nitrate and C4 around in his truck. Of course he does. This makes me want to know just what kind of training he got in the military. Dwight, were you the demo man in your squad?

We leave the gruesome threesome with Dwight's eyegleam over building a bomb to hurt Holloway enough that he loses control over the house, and go back to three Dutch angles before we run into Audrey stop with the threes and give us the threesome in bed already. The Nathan-Duke-Audrey one, I mean. Ahem. I have a moment of serious Susan Cooper deja vu thinking about the group inside the house (three from the circle, three from the track) and then have to stop to wonder why the hell Holloway let her out of the viewing room, knowing what she knows. He really is such a dumbass sociopath. Especially since the first thing she does is go to the picture and open up the secret room, and the second thing she does is tell Claire and Tommy about Rollie being the house. And oh, I do not trust Claire or Tommy but I love them both to bits in this scene. From Claire's concern that the room will kill Audrey to Audrey saying yeah, well, too bad the house will kill us if I don't take that risk to Tommy stepping up to protect her. They haven't been working together long, but whatever issues he had in Boston I would bet against them being the kind that involve him turning on fellow cops. More likely the kind that involve him protecting fellow cops or someone else he felt responsible for even when it's a dumbass idea. I'm especially intrigued by why the hell this room is causing her flashbacks, which we don't get an answer on this episode.

Back to Nathan tending to Jordan. Sigh, Nathan. Though I do believe her vulnerability in this scene; she's been recently traumatized and now she's been pushed down a flight of stairs. All her brainwashing from the Guard says that Troubled people don't hurt each other, in all likelihood, and she probably doesn't have possessed houses in her lexicon of Troubles. So lacking any other evidence of course she believes someone pushed her down the stairs; I find it telling that she leaps to Claire first and Duke second. Presumably Claire for having rejected her as a patient after her revenge spree, and oh boy do I want details on THAT. And then Duke for being a Crocker, of course. Nathan's face tightens on Duke, revealing where his suspicions lie, and then he leaves her alone to get something for that cut. You all really need to stop doing that in a house that's obviously trying to separate you. Holloway shoves the gun out for her to use, and that's Tommy's service weapon, which means Duke's carrying... the gun Mrs. Holloway used. Well, I'm disturbed now, are you? Just in time, as Claire comes stalking into the room and Jordan grabs the gun and trains it on her. Yeah, that can't have been a pleasant client-patient breakup. And it's not like we don't already know Jordan has anger issues.

Back over to Audrey in the secret room with the skeletons! Must you touch all the things, Audrey? It hasn't been touch-based at all, it's mirror-based, you know that. Tommy gives us a list of symptoms, another of those annoyingly cryptic glimpses into his past and boy do I hope Audrey remembers to get that story from him before she disappears. Has time to remember. Both. And once again (third time pays for all?) the flashback is mirror-triggered, and we pick back up with Lucy and Kid right about where we left off. Lucy's not going to help this Troubled person, and although we don't know a great deal about her or Sarah it's clear that this is supposed to be a departure from the norm, at least for Lucy. She blames Holloway for the deaths, just like his wife did in her note, so I'm betting there's even more to the story than we're hearing. Lucy pulls her coat around her on the line about being trapped/imprisoning Holloway, a self-protective gesture. I'd bet that at this point she, too, has found out something about who she really is and what her purpose is in Haven. Again with the slightly sloppy insertion of Cogan's first name, but there's only so much you can do in that regard in 42 minutes. Ooh, hey, a full view of Cogan's face! While he's still alive! Jean jacket, flannel shirt, some kind of undershirt that looks like a henley. Similar to Nathan's clothes, though with an 80s twist to them. I keep wanting to say the clothes look like they're from the 60s, too, because of Lucy's peasant-ish style blouse and wide shawl collar, but then I remember not every 80s fashion was so terrible it need never be seen again. White under brown, for her; combined with the brown hair this creates a warmer look than we usually see on Audrey. Cogan demands to know what they're going to do, since Holloway can see and hear everything, so they, too, were aware of the mirrors and speakers. Unsurprising, since it was created at that time. And oh look, she's looking at the mirror and has an idea! And now so does Audrey. No nosebleed this time, either, despite Tommy shaking her lightly by the shoulders to bring her out of it.

And it's over to Jordan, Claire, and the Mexican standoff scene! I really wonder how much Duke hears of Jordan's story before he comes in, but as it is Jordan only mentions this because she knows Claire already knows what happened to her. I've been mentioning it as a given throughout this post, but let's revisit the details now that we're here. Jordan believes Claire would want to hurt her in self-defense because Claire thinks she's a killer. Projecting much, there? Based on Claire's overall reactions this ep I think she's telling the truth about her understanding of Jordan, too. Anger issues turned both outward and inward, but not a bad person. Just someone who's dangerous to others because she's angry and impulsive enough to act on less than complete information (hey, waitasec, does this sound familiar to anyone else? Hi Duke!), so "those who deserve it" may not always be deserving, much like the Troubled court stenographer from last ep. Thematic consistency, we can has! Jordan calls it a violation rather than a rape, which is somewhat telling as to how she views it. Still fighting her way through the PTSD, which is reinforced every time she would normally reach out to touch someone bare-skinned and can't, every time she puts the gloves on, etc. That has to be one of the more miserable Troubles to live with, because she can lead an almost normal life rather than having to change everything around the way so many other Troubled people do. No, I'm with Claire, Jordan, you absolutely have the right to be angry but you need better coping mechanisms. Enter Duke! WIth the gun in his right hand, which is really interesting because he's a lefty. The only good tactical reason for that is so he can't be snuck up on by a person, putting his back against the wall inside the room. Other than that, it puts him at something of a disadvantage, which says something about his willingness to actually shoot Jordan as well as his belief in her skill with a gun/willingness to shoot anyone else, I'm betting. Enter Nathan! Nathan, you're still being a jackass and I'm gonna use Audrey's hands to smack the stupid out of you one of these days. Even if he is in character for being a member of the Guard and first to defend Jordan. Don't care, smacking him until he tells Duke and Audrey what he's really doing. My god. Three person Mexican standoff until Tommy comes in supporting Audrey, who's still woozy from this latest flashback and oh there's the nosebleed. Other nostril this time. What? I notice these things. I am still grumbly about the right ear v. left ear thing on Grimm, after all. Audrey's going to step between Duke and Jordan's guns, thank you kindly, as she tells Jordan that the house is what hurt her. Notably, Jordan doesn't seem to question this - she's surprised, but she seems to trust Audrey sight unseen. (K: Well, there was the Guard recruitment video.) (A: Though calling Audrey an ally when she doesn't know the Guard exists is rather disingenuous of them. Grumble.) Exposition for everyone's benefit and then everyone gets to be hot and gun-wielding! Jordan flinches when she fires, so while she has decent aim she's not used to firing a weapon. The boys and Audrey, of course, don't, being well-used to guns. Whatever Lucy's solution was, which we don't yet know, it wasn't nearly this violent. Unsurprising, given that Lucy Ripley's memories were presumably not that of law enforcement. They still made the same decision: leave the sociopath in the house to rot. GOOD CALL.

Our heroes, however dubious their respective heroism may be, will take the opportunity of having the blind and deaf room to discuss strategies for getting the fuck out. Nathan will play the martyr because he has a martyr complex bigger than Audrey's, and also because he's feeling too guilty to face anyone right now. And lastly because whatever Holloway throws at him, whatever injuries he suffers, he can keep on going. Audrey accepts this even though she doesn't like it; Jordan's horrified and scared of losing him. Claire and Tommy are by turns horrified and nervous, and Duke, of course, offers to go with. Because he's Duke and he always has Nathan's back. Oh boys. Sadly, Nathan's right, they need both Duke and Audrey to clear any mirrors or speakers he misses. I don't think he has any reason to believe the others know about his conversation with Jordan, but if he's extrapolated from the commentary about trying to turn us on each other then this even renews everyone's faith in him. I'm not sure he's managed that leap of logic, but the effect is the same regardless: the other four are more likely to give him another chance. I take a little while to appreciate the hotness that is Nathan Wuornos dual-wielding pistols and then groan at the visual pun of Nathan the actual gunslinger to Dwight the costumed gunslinger. So, you remember how I said Dwight's Trouble would be important later? This is that later. Yes, the house is brick and cinder blocks, but there are still windows for the bullets to go through. At the very least, Dwight should look more worried than he does. At the most, the bullets shouldn't work right - back in Business as Usual he told Duke it was a 100 yard radius, and they're decidedly closer to the gunshots than that. They should be curving toward him, though this I'll grant is probably a case of When Troubles Collide, Narrative Causality Wins. And it's possible he could be wearing Kevlar under that costume - yet he hasn't worn it at all this season, so I'm wondering a lot of things. Like if somehow Dwight got his Trouble cured. And if so, where the fuck is the missing Crocker? We're only sure that Simon's dead, after all, and there are implied older brothers in A Tale of Two Audreys. Or is there another way to cure a Trouble? Grumble mutter there has to be an explanation for this. While I ponder this, everyone except Nathan gets out! We do not get a reaction shot on either Jordan or Dwight, to my eternal dismay. Duke takes a second to yell about the C4, yeah, I would've too, Duke. Timer or not. Nathan makes a not-as-daring-leap as it seems to get out over the crumbling floorboards and Audrey's gonna blow the whole house up rather than risk anyone else to it. Audrey, you have shit for bomb safety skills, may I just say, you could've bought them an extra couple seconds if you'd yelled and THEN pressed the detonator. We still get no reaction shots from Dwight and Jordan on seeing each other in this place, aside from Dwight glancing at Nathan, Jordan, or both as the house burns.

And then it's all over but the cleanup! Well, not really, but I imagine we won't be revisiting that until another 27 years have passed. First we get all kinds of delicious information about the Colorado Kid! Yay! Nederland Co. Police Missing Person's Report, James Cogan, DOB Aug 31 1956. (Oh look. 1956. Hi Sarah.) Blue/brown, 6'2" 175, which could be a reasonable description of Nathan, too, come to that. Last seen in CO May 3, 1983. That puts May as an insanely busy month, and leaves Lucy Ripley alone or with unknown help during most of that round of Troubles. Cogan disappears May 3, reappears in Haven May ???, Simon Crocker dies (supposedly killed by Lucy) May 21, Cogan dies May 28. Lucy doesn't disappear until October 22. She had, at best, three weeks with Cogan, which makes me severely question Bolt Gun's insistence that Lucy Ripley loved the Colorado Kid. Something is very, very fishy here. I will also note, in case you were wondering, that James Cogan is the actual name of the Kid from the original King story. The rest of the notice! "James went missing in Nederland Colorado under suspicious circumstances. He was wearing a blue jean jacket, jeans and brown boots. He may have been traveling with a brown haired woman [whose?] identity is not clear. Anyone with information is urged to contact the Nederland Police Department in Nederland, Colorado or their local detachment of the FBI." Excuse me, I have to go bang my head into the wall over "identity is not clear." Fuck you too, writers. I say that with love. Mostly. Audrey bounces at Claire, as much as Audrey can be said to bounce, over figuring out who the Kid is and how she can go track his past down and thereby, hopefully, her past. And then she has to go confront Nathan over the dumbass stunt he pulled for Jordan/the Guard, which he still knows was a dumbass stunt but isn't admitting to Audrey. I believe him, when he says he trusts Jordan, though I'm not sure that trust isn't because he's been manipulating the hell out of her the past few eps. But he's lost Audrey over it, and she's not even trying to lie convincingly to him. It's the kind of lie people who used to be close give each other when they're really pissed off but not willing to be vulnerable to each other anymore. Yep. You've fucked this one up, Nathan, possibly for good, as little time as you have left to undo this.

And he's going to keep fucking it up in the hopes of tracking down Bolt Gun! Goddammit Nathan, there were other ways. I think that's probably what gets me most at this point, there are probably half a dozen other ways to get into the Guard's good graces and talk to them about the problem that's possible in their ranks. And he chooses the one that's most destructive to all his current relationships. Good. Going. He gives Jordan her space at first, sitting on the bench and acting a bit like a lost puppy teenager. He thought she might call inDEED. Then moving in, and in, and pushing, and cue the making out like teenagers! This is going to end brilliantly. And by brilliantly I mean explosively.

Speaking of explosives, Dwight hammers in the no trespassing sign and we have our requisite closing shot of Holloway beginning to put himself back together again. TO BE CONTINUED IN 27 YEARS. Which is what got me wondering how often this has really played out in the first place, but I suppose we're unlikely to find out.

Next week on Haven, someone who can bring the dead back to life and really needs money! Nathan's turn to be the damsel! Maybe some of those burned bridges will be rebuilt BUT NOT BY HOLLOWAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Ahem. I'm going to go turn more lights on and get my machete now, thanks.

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