Saturday, September 14, 2013

Nobody Knows The Troubles I've Seen Haven S4E01 Fallout

Previously on Haven! Our standard voiceover paired with massive imagedump for those who need a refresher or those just tuning in, why Audrey has to go into the barn and some of the more horrific of last season's Troubles. Also, Jordan. And the barn. And the barnvatar. And that whole entire clusterfuck at the very end. Guys, I promise, that is seared on our retinas.

This week on Haven: Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Fallout is right.

Duke lands in the barn, having flung himself in after Audrey, but she's not in view. Neither is Arla or James. So, that might well come back to bite us, then! And in places we wouldn't want bitten, too, considering Arla's fragile and homicidal state of mind. Nathan shooting Howard is also coming back to bite everyone, because the barn is having as many structural integrity issues as Howard was. The most irritating part of this is that it deprives us of seeing what a normative barn experience is like, what happens when AudSarLu goes in it on a normal cycle. I'm pretty sure it doesn't shake itself to pieces, though, which is what the barn seems to be doing now. Falling debris, holes opening up. Duke has no idea what's going on. Or at least about as much idea as we do, which isn't much. Audrey's memories-slash-clips from last season are being played all over the walls and broadcast all through the barn, which is interesting but entirely uninformative. To us, anyway, although the emphasis on saying goodbye, questions of humanity, love, motherhood, and ending the Troubles is kind of like a ten-second tour o' Haven's Themes. To Duke, some of these conversations he wasn't there for, so he's paying more attention to that for a moment than he is to his surroundings. At least until the floor drops out and he falls…

... into an aquarium tank. All we can say is, it's a good fucking thing that was something as mild as a seal tank; it could've been so, so much worse. Cue children pointing and laughing, because a confused Duke is totally a new show, right? Well… no. Not for us, anyway. Also it's an incredibly good thing Duke's accustomed to water, because for many other people that would have led to inhaling far more water than he seems to've. Certainly when we pull back to watching Duke through someone' s TV and see him being hauled off by police, he's entirely capable of hollering at them, the media, anyone who will listen that he's looking for Audrey Parker. It's a pretty reasonable thing to do, under the circumstances he can't know if she got memory-wiped and she wasn't spat out in the tank with him, so maybe she was spat out somewhere else! Duke lives in eternal hope, or at least eternal more-stubborn-than-thou-ness. The mysterious woman watching all this in her small, kind of dingy apartment cues on Audrey's name and immediately picks up and heads out, presumably for either Duke or for someone who knows more than she does. We go back and analyze her living situation, because that's what we do. That's a big, pretty nice flat-screen, no media shelves in the immediate vicinity so she probably uses it for watching stuff on network/cable, maybe for stuff she has on a computer elsewhere, most of the new flat-screens have a USB port for such purposes. There's some clutter off to the right that looks like stacked picture frames, maybe? But her walls aren't bare even if they're cinder block or give that appearance, so low-income but cares about decorating, how her home looks. Her radius, what we can see of it, involves a glass of something, probably water, mostly empty, partially eaten freezer meal (looks like peas, mashed potatoes, brown beef something), book with papers stuck in, remote, binder, stacks of what appear to be essay papers or similar. A research radius, in other words! We're familiar with that radius, it's what our desks looked like in college, minus some detritus from past study sessions, and it's not a far cry from what they look like now. The prints on the walls look mostly to be flora, cherry blossoms and a couple smaller either side of the door that fade out into the leafy wallpaper print. You know who else we met with cherry blossoms on her bedding and a woodsy-themed apartment? Audrey, when she woke up in Boston for the very first time in the pilot. WELL THAT'S NOT SIGNIFICANT OR ANYTHING. We'll also point out, because we keep coming back to Boston as the nearest big city to Haven (which, yes, it might be depending how far up the coast Haven is), but more importantly it's the nearest big city with colonial undertones. They keep dancing around the colonization of America and where the Troubles come into play there, and you'll get to watch us screaming over William in a bit here, so let's just bear that in mind, shall we?

Unnamed woman heads out, I'm prepared to like her already for being a woman of action and immediate decision, and let's pan over Boston for a bit! We settle on Duke cuffed to a hospital bed and thoroughly unhappy about it, with no idea how he got there and being interviewed by a cop. Who is not having any of his shit, and has presumably pulled Duke's rap sheet at the same time he discovered Duke's supposedly dead. For six months. Oh Duke honey. He's so traumatized and disoriented that he's very off his game, though I do like the inversion of the King amnesia trope: no, he doesn't have amnesia although it would be in his best interest to go with the idea that he does have, the world's just moved on. I'd grumble about him being reported dead; it's Haven, the least they can do is give him the usual seven years (Drink! I know it's not three, but seven is standard for a supernatural abduction) after a mysterious disappearance. And okay, six months isn't, but it is standard when the TV seasons are mirroring real-time for the moment. Plus it's a good indication that Nathan's no longer in charge, because Nathan wouldn't declare Duke dead while he held any hope at all, whereas there's a lot of other people who have a vested interest in Duke and Audrey being dead. We pronounce this power vacuum, boys and girls. At any rate, Duke goes through the usual what-the-fuck but barn but oh fuck barn, then the dodge away from the cop asking about the barn, and see, he's not dead! Except the cell phones on him (in his wallet? That seems uncomfortable.) are registered to people who are not Duke Crocker. Kirk Davis, Benton Shaw, Kevin Banks, and hey! Now we have three the Guard's names! Or at least at a guess they're Guard names, we do remember the Guard named Kirk from Burned and Thanks For The Memories. We never had THOSE before. Pardon us while we cackle madly. That's like data, and we do love us some data. Duke would like to talk to Nathan to get this all cleared up, much to nobody's surprise, and the cop's having none of it. He's going to get himself tossed in jail after the psych hold clears, which hey, that's usually 72 hours! (Three days. Drink.) Duke can do a LOT in that time. Also the likelihood that Duke will stay in jail is slim, as there's not a chance in hell anyone can prove intent to get in that fish tank, which would be necessary for prosecution given the absence of, you know. Means. We all snort at the notion that Duke had a good deal in Haven, and Duke looks like he'd say a lot of choice things if he weren't in the habit of keeping his mouth shut around cops. We do get the obligatory Wizard of Oz reference. Duke, I don't think you'd look good in blue gingham and anyway you're probably the Scarecrow.

Speaking of home! Out of the couple flyovers we get in this transition the only thing out of the ordinary is that brightass mint green building. Seriously, what the hell, whose idea was it to paint an entire building that color. That's rip your eyeballs out and shout down the sockets bright. (A: The only thing I can still think of is green is for gone under the hill to Faery. Or, y'know, into the barn. But it's the wrong shade.) You know what we're not seeing? Craters. Meteor damage. Granted, it's only two shots and one of those was pretty horizontal along the water, but still. If they'd wanted to convey "Haven Lost At Asteroids" they would have shown some of those meteors buried in the ground, and they didn't. So at least on the surface, we're back to normal. Which has always been true of Haven, but it's a thinner veneer than most years, as we're about to find out. Over to the Haven bookshop! A bright and sunny place, which as we all know means something horrible is about to happen. Also? Those are Hard Case Crime books, the publishing company founded by Charles Ardai, who is also a writer and producer on the show! They also published The Colorado Kid. Which, although we can pick out several titles, doesn't seem to be in there. Sadface. Though that might be a bit too meta. Anyway, we see you, Charles Ardai. We see you very well. The music is standard "look this is a serene setting" with a faint touch of aristocracy, I have no idea why that should be, but we'll go with it. Because books and bookstores and libraries tend to, if they have any music at all, have the classical? Or NPR. In addition to the stock music we also have a strange noise that our bookstore patrons are becoming aware of, though they're all rather standing around like stunned mullets instead of, you know, taking cover. Like you should do in a town where weird and dangerous shit regularly happens, if you hear a slowly loudening noise. But no. Standing around like stunned mullets it is! Soon to be glass-covered flung about mullets as whatever it was explodes the window in! Good job, guys! Roll credits!

Which actually have not changed at all. Yet. I think the only things I see here that are at all odd are the billing: Colin Ferguson gets the double whammy of "guest starring: special guest star" and Adam Copeland gets "Adam Copeland / WWE Superstar Edge." I have no idea what's going on there but I'm guessing contract rules are involved. Also the twitching when Camargo pops up already, because yes, we've been devouring the casting spoilers like the rest of you. Anyway, the opening credits have not changed since last season's finale, yes we went through and checked, yes, we really are that meticulous and thorough. This is why you love us. At least it better be, because otherwise why are you reading all of this every week? Anyway, opening credits, the lighthouse is still standing! Or standing again. That thing's been destroyed at least twice now (one time the rebuilding made it into the opening credits) and was the scene of at least one imprisonment. That damn lighthouse.

Sadly we don't get to stick around Haven just yet, we're going back to Duke in hospital trying to sweet-talk the nurse. This would work better if she weren't old enough to be his mother and accustomed to much more dangerous, obnoxious criminal types. It would also work better if he weren't still off his game, seriously, Duke, threatening to give her literal shit? That's just uncalled for, even as cranky as you are. Also uncalled for is the line about giving her trouble. BAD Duke. Lucky for him someone's riding to the rescue! That someone is not Audrey, though that's the name she gives, and Duke in his relief is way more on his game now. Just to showcase how much he needs even the glimmer of hope that having Audrey or Nathan around gives him. (We'll see that showcased in Nathan later on! Because these three are just joined at the hip.) So, the nurse heads out with some nice witty banter about his "sister" leaving in 15 or she'll come trank Duke, and we want to ruffle his hair for the adorable, and that's not Audrey, that's the girl from earlier! Who we knew couldn't be Audrey just by her build, even though they were avoiding showing us her face, possibly because in a manner of speaking she isn't a real person until someone from Haven sees her. I can't buy that they expected us to take that fakeout, the closest we got to being faked out was that it might be Marion Caldwell, because it's been awhile since we saw her. Particularly, as we begin to learn about Jennifer, because people often overlook the supposedly crazy people in the world. Supposedly, because Jennifer? Totally Troubled. Mason, by the way, let's not forget that that's an actual occupation, namely a builder. (Please don't be a builder of barns, Jennifer, unless it's a less STUPID barn.) Also, Masonic society, for bonus double reference points. We're getting headaches already. She's also a walking talking Stephen King stereotype of the Cassandra seer, and Emma Lahana is nailing it. That kind of rapid-fire patter delivery of "oh god I thought I was crazy and now I might not be what the fuck is my life" is difficult to pull off and not have it come out cliched and rocky. Upshot is, six months ago Jennifer started hearing voices of our terrible trio and Howard, which probably means it's a bunch of the conversations at (in? be interesting if her Trouble extended that far) the barn and the doctors told her she was schizophrenic and put her on the usual drugs. Also, she used to be a journalist. Fuck. (For those of you who haven't read it, "The Colorado Kid" is about Dave and Vince, who aren't brothers but do run the newspaper, explaining the mystery of the CK's death to a young journalist named Stephanie McCann. Since they're so careful with the stresses and syllabic content of AudSarLuLex's names, let's just pause and consider Jennifer Mason and Stephanie McCann, shall we? Okay then.) Cue Duke attempting to mimic her rapid-fire delivery, which he could normally do just fine if he weren't playing catch-up, and the ten seconds or less "this is what you are this is what Haven is these are the Troubled please don't run away from me." Yeah, I'd be staring in confusion too, schizophrenia is a much more likely (in her worldview) condition than something supernatural. Still, he does a pretty convincing job (aside from the line about a heart of gold, seriously you guys?) with getting her to believe that he believes she's not crazy, she's just Troubled. And that he knows a way to help her, if she'll get him out of here so he can go find Audrey. Really, the main reason this works is because Jennifer walked in primed to do something reckless even if she didn't know what exactly she'd be finding. Secondarily because she doesn't want to be crazy and thirdly she maybe even misses the voices sometimes, and/or dislikes the way the meds make her feel. I know most schizophrenia drugs dull your mind in a lot of other ways, have nasty side effects (we're ignoring the part where normally they'd have to try a few different regimens and it would probably take more than six months because TV), and generally are Not Fun to deal with. And now she's spent at least the trip to the hospital questioning whether or not she's really crazy or if the rest of the world is crazy, and what that means for her, and in conclusion, yes. She will help Duke, because she wants to know.

How they get out of the hospital is best explained by paperclip, pants, and a not inconsiderable amount of social engineering. Yes, Jennifer, if you hang around Duke you will get used to this shit. Sorry. Sort of. Sometimes it's kind of fun! Her car's parked somewhere in line of sight of the front of the hospital, by the way she gestures, and Duke's trying to get hold of Nathan or, you know, anyone useful on his cell phone. So she'll bring the car around and he'll keep trying numbers and it turns out "social engineering" is code for "flashing an orderly her boobs." Which she seems only perfunctorily annoyed about and more pleased that it worked than anything. I like her already. Oh, Duke's going to call the Teagues! For a very, very good reason, explicated for the benefit of new viewers and to give folks like us sage nodding and stroking of imaginary beards. (A: No, Kitty, you cannot stroke Dwight's beard, it hasn't appeared onscreen yet.) (K: But, but, but PAT THE BUNNY.) Which will serve in place of our more usual teeth-grinding when it comes to the Teagues, because in this case I don't think they do have much of an idea why everything's gone off the rails. Theories, maybe, but no time to test them due to the Troubles and no Audrey. Dave answers! It's so cute that they still have a landline, though also probably necessary, I can't imagine Haven gets great cell service. He sounds a bit more tired than usual, though he doesn't look it as much as his brother will when we see him. Then again, Dave doesn't have an entire paramilitary organization in semi-revolt to manage. He also has no belief that Duke's really back. I wouldn't either, there's too many Troubles that could fuck with him over the phone. Oprah Winfrey appears to be the codephrase, though we don't for the life of us remember them setting up any such thing. Still, it's good to have one of those! Dave confirms for us that the barn, to external perception, has been destroyed for the last six months, so time moves strangely, maybe it took that long for the barn to piece back together enough of its workings to spit Duke out, who the fuck knows. Yes, Duke, time moving differently as a general rule would make sense for why it spits out Audrey out fresh every generation with no sign of aging. God he's frazzled, to be throwing these things out there without any time to really make his thought processes coherent, because of course Dave immediately leaps to "you have Audrey? AWESOME." No. Not awesome. Less awesome is that Nathan's cell is disconnected and he's no longer with the PD, with the decided implication that whoever answered Duke's call was interested in getting him off the phone as soon as possible. Dave turns very sober serious not so much a newspaperman and more a Teagues, and now some of the age and weariness shows. Whatever Nathan's been up to lately, it's not good. Really not good, for Dave to be willing to give out the information while also regretting its necessity. That's a more human side to giving out information than we usually get out of either brother. Oh, and the Troubles didn't go away, as we pretty much expected.

Skipping travel time, we see that Nathan is… Nathan Wuornos what is that on your face it looks like a muskrat. Traditional grief and insufficient time or inclination to shave symbol is a go! Also he seems to have started up not so much a fight club as a beat the shit out of Nathan who can't feel it and get paid for taking the hits. Nathan, you fuckhead. Stop that. Just because you can't feel it doesn't mean it's not hurting you. So, he's getting punched by a bunch of bikers, one at a time, and Duke is about as happy about this as you might expect. He won't welcome Duke's interference right now, though, so we get the little back-and-forth with Jennifer about stopping it. Not just yet. She has about the right expression for "it's complicated," which seems to say "that is a Facebook status, not code for 'I'm okay with letting my friend get beat up'." Ahem. Also for "You two are out of your tiny minds." Duke's actually fairly accepting of his own erratic behavior, and all he does is ask her for twenty bucks. Even if he no longer seems in a mood to take advantage of a free (well, for twenty, which is cheaper than charges) shot at Nathan. Season one Duke would totally have done it. Now, not so much. Nathan is about sensible enough to take a break, even if he's not sensible enough to see a doctor for all those hits to the face, and he's drinking beer. Really, Nathan? Seriously? He shoves away Duke's twenty because Duke, on purpose, holds it over his shoulder as he stands out of view, in keeping both with the turn around wide-eyed relief trope and Duke's sense of whimsy. So it's not until Nathan hears Duke's voice that he realizes what's going on. Oh boys. We have missed you, and you have missed each other, and that is genuine feeling in Nathan's smile behind that muskrat on his face, and in the hug. Awwww. Duke's clinging back too, and we know that his commentary is keeping the atmosphere light and not offering loving words that would sound out of place. As well as truth, because Nathan doesn't look like he's been taking care of himself at all. Bet he does smell. Now kiss. Wait, no, brush your teeth and get rid of that muskrat, Nathan. Then kiss. Anyway, now that this happy reunion is over, Nathan expects to see Audrey. We know how Duke got there, so we do not. Instead we get to watch Nathan look past Duke at the female figure standing behind him and look at her, now, clearly enough to see that she's some total stranger. And Duke hasn't the faintest idea where Audrey is.

But since this is television, we will now cut to the answer! Which is pronounced A Bar. Not a dive bar, maybe a local watering hole type bar. A man bellies up to the bar and asks for a Screaming Orgasm, exchanging some banter with the bartender, who says they don't offer them here. Well, the other bartender made him one! Really? We'll just see about that, hey, Lexie. (Which, by the way, is our dear writer's sister's name, according to Wiki. If you buy that coincidence, you might enjoy this lovely bridge in good condition!) Hey, Lexie, did you give this man a Screaming Orgasm? To no one's surprise at all, even if they haven't been watching the commercials and season previews: Hi Audrey! I need to mix myself a Screaming Orgasm now.

One commercial break and some tasty booze later, we're back to the biker diner where Nathan was holding his little hit-Nathan club. Because it's not a fight club if the other guy isn't fighting. Nathan's shaved! In the diner bathroom one assumes, he's got what looks like a go-bag over his shoulder which implies he's been sleeping out of his truck (which makes two recaplyses I've done this week where he's doing that) and he's giving Duke the rundown on what happened after he left. It's pretty concise, for those of us who haven't read the comic. If you're a Dwight fan, you really should read the comic, though. The meteors kept falling, Nathan went back to town. Duke is the one to tell Nathan that Dave thinks shooting Howard disrupted the cycle, which works for me given that Howard is the barnvatar, and that that's why the Troubles didn't go away like they usually do. So, what does that mean for the barn and the Troubles? Is it anyone's guess what happens next? Is there a protocol for the barnvatar getting interrupted? Did everything get reset back to the beginning of the terrestrial AudSarLu part of the cycle? Who knows? Not us! But we have oh so many theories. Really, so does everyone. The Guard found out what happened and tried to kill him, which is also covered in the comic in not much greater detail, and Nathan confesses that he kind of wanted to let them. Remember that, folks, because it says a great deal about his mindset right now and also his martyrdom complex and his likelihood to self-harm. Or in the case of today, let other people take potshots. It'll take a while for this mindset to stop affecting his behavior so deeply. Nathan continues onto the reason for his self-destructive behavior, he thought he had killed Audrey when all he was trying to do was save her, and Duke, and James Cogan-the Colorado Kid-his son. (His son who's the same age as him, or thereabouts, lest we forget that bit of wackiness.) It's interesting, though, that Duke comes to his mind second after Audrey and before his son. Audrey is, of course, first in Nathan's mind and heart, as we all expect and for better or for worse, but that Duke is also so high in Nathan's thoughts is a little more surprising given their previous contentious relationship. James being last isn't a surprise either, because that relationship is still very new. But the fact that Nathan admits, out loud and with no real hesitation, that he cares about Duke and felt guilty for his perceived involvement in his death? With the upward lilt in his voice at the end indicating strong emotions right before the voice breaks. That's a long way from the Nathan Wuornos who's been intermittently inclined to kill him for the past three seasons. Duke crosses his arms a couple of times, partly to give his taking Nathan to task some paternal sternness, partly because this is a falling apart Nathan and that's scary and requires some defensive posture. Nathan's excuse/reasoning is that he had to make money somehow, as well as stay off the radar so the Guard wouldn't find out. Nathan, honey, you're in a port town, and you've got the whole east coast worth of port towns, there are easier ways to make money. But more importantly, if Duke got out of the barn today, maybe Audrey's out too. Maybe she hasn't contacted them because she's in Burma, or Abu Dabi with Nermal, or on some remote island. The important part is, she might be out of the barn. And if New Girl Jennifer could hear Duke in the barn, maybe she can hear where Audrey ended up as well. The requisite "do you trust her?" "not really, but do we have a choice?" dialogue comes while the camera is focused on her getting out of her truck, for added conspiracy elements.

Duke confesses that they're sort of in a have to trust each other place with Jennifer, more so them than her, and she did trust him when she didn't have to. So maybe it's worth a shot? Nathan's okay with that, they can take her back to Haven. Which is where Duke pulls the record scratch, because didn't Nathan just spend some time reinforcing the concept that the Guard is out to kill him? And that he's spent the last six months trying for that not to happen? Really, Nathan? Yes, really, Nathan would like to make use of those resources he ditched six months ago in finding Audrey. Nathan, honey, being a cop isn't like knitting a sweater, you can't just put it down and pick it up six months later and start off from where you left. You'd never pass the psych evals now, and that's just for starters. No, he's convinced himself that this is what he needs to do, clearly, no matter what cold water of reality Duke tries to throw on him. Jennifer sees this as a decent time to interrupt, since Nathan looks to be gearing up to go somewhere, so she half-tells half-offers up her gassed up truck and some road snacks, and this both offers us some momentary humor as well as reminding us that Nathan is taciturn. Like a very taciturn thing. Lucas Bryant makes lovely use of the contrast here, from emotional Nathan giving Duke a bunch of rapid fire babble to Nathan's more common quiet, even-toned minimalist sentences. That lasts for about two seconds, though, also indicating that he's made the decision to trust her and her information, at least until he's given a reason to do otherwise. Duke drives, Nathan talks to Jennifer, Jennifer spills everything she's learned from these voices about the barn. This, to him, is an equitable arrangement. This, to us, is what we call target fixation.

Our flyover of Haven this time is covered in fog, smog, or haze of some kind or another. Vince and Dave stand in front of the shattered window of the bookshop, lamenting Haven's rapidly deteriorating state, but the Chief is doing the best he can. I almost wish they'd spun out the inevitable question here, which is to say that, if Nathan's getting his Beard of Sorrow and Self-Castigation on, who's the Chief? That said, Adam Copeland does a very, very fine All Out of Bubblegum walk of authority as Dwight The Chief. No doubt perfected from his time in the WWE? You know, it's not even a bad choice for Chief of police apart from keeping it in the cast as well as keeping it in the conspiracy of reasonable people; Dwight has both leadership and military experience, as well as having shadowed several investigations before. And while I'm praising Dwight, he wears his beard much better than Nathan does. Though it helps that his beard is a manly and well-maintained beard and not a Beard of Angst and Self-Loathing. Dwight asks about bomb evidence. Oh Dwight. You weren't that lucky this time, either. This makes Dwight cranky, as we see when he tells Dave to blame it on a gas leak. And Haven still wins the prize for the worst infrastructure in the country! I'm not sure anyone even believes it at this point who's lived in Haven longer than two weeks. The brothers will now go back to bitching at each other, with the result that Dave spills out Duke's phone call at least half to contradict Vince as much as to inform him. Vince must be exhausted not to respond to Dave's viciousness with more viciousness, which shows a possibly changed dynamic from the last few seasons where Vince was the more dominant of the two brothers. Or at least more openly dominant. Before we can get much more than Dave being nasty at Vince, Dwight comes back! Let's all get a giggle about how he rebukes the brothers like a pair of schoolboys and actually gets a "Sorry, Chief" in response. I'm pretty sure no one else has ever been able to do that, that we've seen. While they're hanging their heads, Dwight takes a call. Someone down at the beach is frozen in glass. So now there's two Troubles to deal with. I'm not even going to make the obvious pun, you guys get to do it yourselves.

Back over to Oatley's! We're not touching that one, you guys, we're really not. It's a Talisman reference and, just, no. The bartender ladies are chatting, and they've brought the lampshades. It's both nice, subtle exposition and a conversation designed to leave us snickering, so let's go in order, shall we? One, Lexie has the hang of things from the moment she walks in here, she's good at handling people, like Audrey. Two, she's good at keeping the bad boys in their place, heh. Three, she's just looking for one decent guy. Four, she's wasting her time looking around here? Five... okay, not actually five, that's just Colin Ferguson's cue to walk in. HI COLIN FERGUSON! WE MISSED YOU! Excuse me, I need a moment here. Ahhhhhh. Okay. We watched Colin Ferguson in Eureka, we were utterly charmed by his down to earth, common sense, honest up front emotional performance there, and given what we've heard about his role being cast essentially for him, we're expecting nothing less here. Well, unless the character takes a turn for the creepy, but we're expecting the same quality of performance. (Camargo, on the other hand, is most famous for his roles ranging from shady to downright skeevy, so if he plays against type here I will be hysterically amused and surprised.) Anyway. The country music kicks up a notch as he comes in, too, something I can't find on the internet about trying to smile through adversity and for an audience, but then it drops back down to background noise again as Colin Ferguson settles down at the bar. I'm pretty sure that's not a coincidence but a thematic choice, so this is, what, the mournful rodeo clown? Mournful stoic cowboy? It's part of his theme to keep in mind. He's also in a brown leather jacket, blue button down looks-like-cotton shirt, and blue jeans, all of which would have been for materials and color if not cut for the last two hundred years in this country. I wouldn't go out of my way to point this out if it weren't for Audrey the Timeless Woman being lost out of the barn, as well as last season's time travel episode. I can't tell if he's doing the time warp again, and if he is he's being damn subtle about it, but it's worth mentioning that both his clothes and his introductory use of the words "Can I get a local beer" are... very time traveler. With the first couple of sentences it seems like he's fishing, offering up generics and letting the other person (in this case, Lexie) fill in the details. It could be because he is a time traveler, or at least brought forward from the last cycle of Troubles, or the one before that, or the one before that. (Those look like plastic buttons on his shirt, so it'd be a time after plastic/Bakelite buttons, around early 20th century.) It could also be that he's warm reading Lexie, trying to figure out how much she knows this incarnation and whether or not getting spat out of the barn early left her with Audrey's memories intact or if she's been fully Ctrl-F/Replaced. Unlike most warm or cold readers, though, he's relatively benign so far. The smile is genuine, the wariness when he enters the bar as he looks around and discards most of the people here as irrelevant is also genuine, but he's not showing any signs of hostile deception or aggression yet. I should highlight that qualifier there, hostile deception, because every fucking person on this show has secrets and deceives in one way or another.

So! Poor Colin Ferguson, getting chewed to pieces like this. Lexie is amused by his apparent unwillingness to use the term microbrew, but he'll readily agree to it and suggest one from Maine. Which doesn't ring any bells with her, either, going by the cheerful but generic smile. She gets him a beer and opens it, passes it to him, and they smile at each other for a bit. They have interesting chemistry, here. It's not quite palpably disjointed but there's clear recognition and emotion from him to her, whereas from her there's more disconnected smiling and the abstract pleasure of having a polite customer, but nothing personal. While we're looking at her, though, let's really look at her. Her hair color hasn't changed, for one thing, not as significantly as in the other incarnations, and we know that Lucy was a brunette and Sarah was a redhead. Her hair's also longer, for that matter. She doesn't walk like Audrey, which is a damn good acting job on Emily Rose's part there, there's much more of a swing in her hips and a slower stride going by the sound of her boots. Given that we know some of this was shot out of order due to the actress's pregnancy it's difficult to say whether the slightly more rounded shape of her face and body is due to pregnancy or the change from one incarnation to the other; if they attempt to keep that change by actress's diet and makeup tricks, I'll be intrigued. Her body posture is much more open, loose and easygoing, than Audrey's was on her initial introduction, and her wardrobe is obviously that of the bar's; if we see her outside of the bar context before she hits Haven we'll tackle the changes in her clothing as reflecting on her personality, then. Her voice is altered subtly enough to have a detectable drawl, with the cadence of her speech also relaxed, and which is also some impressive acting on Emily Rose's part, good god, woman. So, the summation of what we have of Lexie is that this is a woman who isn't just confident in her personal identity to the point of being both laid back and aggressive, she also hasn't been challenged in her sense of self yet. She refers to her previous life as boring, which at a very rough first guess means she believes she comes from a small town where nothing ever happened, either an only child or an orphan raised by the state/distant relatives, and left there at an early age to make her way in the world, thus the aggression. It would also give her a number of varied vicarious experiences, most of them involving doing the best she can with scant resources and few to no allies. Sound familiar? That whole last part is just a theory, however. We may or may not find out more about Lexie in the future, depending on how soon they bring our more familiar Audrey back.

Next up! We have a flyover of Haven with a voiceover of Jennifer gushing over what a nice town it is. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno. Nathan comments that it has its moments right as they get boxed in by trucks and people with shotguns, to which Duke sighs and comments with deep resignation that they're usually moments like this. Uh-huh. Oh, hey, Jordan! She's alive! (As we knew if we got and read the comic, Nathan carried her from the scene and to an ambulance after Dwight established that he couldn't touch her and thus the Troubles were still active.) They've broken the Haven trend of not keeping non-Audrey women past one season! Too bad it's the "evil" one. I use evil in quote marks, because she's less evil so much as she is really embittered and traumatized by her powers, and we've seen some actions out of her to indicate that she could decide to play for Team Fuck You Barnvatar at some point. Nathan seems to be giving Jordan and her poorly placed shotgun puppy eyes. Nathan, that's not going to keep you from being shot if you don't comply. I don't think she's into you anymore. Here comes another truck! Dwight, why are you carting Vince and Dave around. Jordan, why the hell are you a) wielding a shotgun in those heels and b) wielding a shotgun like that? You're going to break something if you shoot it from that position. No, wait, while we're asking why-are-you-stupid questions, Dwight, why are you walking into a situation with many guns. I mean, I know, cop now, but for those of you who missed the previous seasons Dwight is a bullet magnet. Or in this case, shot magnet. I take a second to tangent wildly off onto the does-it-work-if-someone-fires-a-gun-loaded-with-rock-salt territory and when I get back, everyone's out of the car and Duke's summing up Jordan for Jennifer and the audience. Nathan's ex, he dumped her, Duke shot her is pretty concise! Except leaving out her Trouble. They really are doing a remarkable job this episode catching new people up on the most salient facts while amusing the regular viewers.

Duke bitches out Dave for telling ... everyone? Just Dwight? It's hard to say from that angry comment who Duke thinks Dave told, and there are far too many people with D names in this scene. Um. It's hard to say whether he's blaming the Guard and their many large guns on Dave, or just Dwight. I'm betting both, though maybe less on purpose and more in that Dave started talking and the Guard found out, like they do. Vince clearly no longer has control over at least Jordan and some portion of the Guard, by his attempt at an order here. Dave informs us and reminds Jordan of how Nathan saved her life, thereby covering the last main-character-related bits from the comic. Nathan found her in the field, carried her to the ambulance, and told the doctors about her Trouble so they could operate around the whole not being able to touch her thing. Which is less of an issue than you'd think, since doctors try to not touch people with bare hands anyway. All those nasty germs and all. But it sounds good when you're trying to talk down an angry woman with a shotgun! You know what doesn't sound good? TAKING OFF YOUR BULLET-RESISTANT ARMOR VEST WHEN YOU ARE A BULLET MAGNET DWIGHT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU HIGH? THE NUMBER OF FUCKS GIVEN ABOUT YOU ARE VERY SMALL HERE. THIS IS NOT GOING TO CONVINCE ANYONE TO PUT THEIR GUNS DOWN oh why am I bothering. I do have a bit of a bone to pick with this part of the scene, in that I don't think we've had enough of an emotional tie drawn between him and the members of the Guard, or these members specifically, or Jordan, to show that the risk of killing him outweighs the need to see Nathan Wuornos dead. We've seen Dwight's ties to the Guard plenty, but it's always been rather cold. Still, the person with the itchiest trigger finger here is Jordan and her wounded heart; everyone else looks to her or Vince for their orders. Speaking of which, hey, Vince. Why don't you do something while Duke explains Dwight's Trouble to Jennifer/the audience? Aren't these your Guardsmen? Well, no, they're not, not so much anymore, which is why he's not doing anything. Jordan does grimace? contort? Something, there's a look on her face when she admits that, no, she doesn't want to pull the trigger and risk killing Dwight. Aww? Whatever, at least she's turning over the gun. While insisting Nathan pay, because she is nothing if not fixated. Situation somewhat defused (no one else has lowered their guns), Dwight greets Duke with their hilarious manly one-word grunts and nods, and Vince goes to confront Nathan about Duke being in the barn when it was destroyed. Dun dun dunnnnn! Audrey may still be alive! Gasp! Shock! Shut up! Says Vince, finally attempting to assert his authority. Did I mention his authority has degraded? Because it has. Nathan and Jordan between them will now smoothly exposit what normally happens in Haven (if anything in Haven can be described as normal) and what has happened. Audrey going in the barn usually ends the Troubles, but now if she kills the person she loves (most? truly? a person she loves? we have no idea!) it ends the Troubles permanently. As we've seen now, Audrey was in the barn when it exploded, and the Troubles are still here, so something broke and no one has any idea how to fix it. Except Nathan! He's going to find Audrey and enact the second solution, by getting her to kill him. Let's all take a moment here to, okay, first victory dance about how we were so right in that, with Audrey's absence, Nathan went on a truly astounding spiral of self-destructive tendencies. But also to take turns shaking Nathan by his scrawny shoulders and screaming about what are you thinking? How the hell is this supposed to work? Is he going to convince her to kill him? Is he just going to wait until she has a gun in her hands, wrap his hand around hers and pull the trigger? Would that even work? Is he even That Guy? We don't know and Nathan doesn't seem to be thinking about the answers to these questions too much. Instead he will introduce Jennifer and her hearing-the-barn Trouble, to Vince's utter lack of surprise. I'm not sure if that's he's too tired for surprise or he's heard of that Trouble before surprise. I wouldn't even be noticing if it weren't for the quick cut to Dave, Dwight, and Jordan all with varying degrees of "oooh?" and contrasting that with Vince's utter "whatev." And we're back to the deathful solution, which Dave reminds us all was also connected to Arla Cogan. (By way of her husband James, the Colorado Kid and Sarah-incarnation's son. If you're a new reader you are now very confused.) I will say, the one good thing about Nathan publically stating his intention to enact this solution is it does keep him alive until they find Audrey, since she can't kill him if he's already dead. Jordan isn't sure he'll actually go through with it. Duke is sure, just as I'm sure the anger in his voice is for Nathan being a dumbass as well as Jordan being cranky and threatening. Vince is still being expressionless, except now there's a calculating "that's interesting" squint going on, Vince, stop being so fucking creepy. Please? For five minutes? Everyone stands around being tense and jittery for a while, until the circus appears. (That's a very obscure Dark Tower/Waste Lands reference guys, I'm sorry.) And by circus I mean abrupt dark cloud. Dark cloud cover. Tornado. Bring your own sharks. For once, the lighthouse doesn't take the brunt of the damage here, either, it's the church steeple that comes crashing to the ground. We know you don't like it here, Jennifer. No one likes it here.

We come back from ad break, Duke yells something unintelligible that sounds like a question, those of us who pick over the minute details are now facepalming over how it's the Caldwell Trouble and would someone please remember that and go check on Marion. Oh, and six of the regulars are now huddled all in a row by the side of Jennifer's truck. Just to showcase who's on what side, Jordan's off somewhere else. We will also note, while we're noting themes and the like, that Nathan and Vince are being ever more closely tied in parallels as My AudSarLu Right Or Wrong, with Duke and Dave serving as the somewhat more rational half of the partnership. Somewhat. Depending on the topic at hand. Also the vitriol and snark and unwillingness to ever leave each other's sides. It's more striking right now because Nathan and Vince have undergone their own lack of self-care metamorphoses in the last six months, Nathan out of grief and Vince out of - at least on the surface of it - too damn much to do and hold together. He's showing his age, he's got a bad haircut, he looks greasy and exhausted and like he hasn't had the time to do more than grab takeout at the Gull in ages. If that. Anyway, the tornado clears away like it never existed, we're back to the ominously sunny cheerful day in Haven, and the camera keeps zooming on Nathan as if to remind us that he should know what this is. Yes. Yes he should. Admittedly that was before so many other things went down that it could be lost in his memory banks. Memory banks which have been getting rattled around by hits to the head for the last six months, let us not forget. Some of the usual banter that amounts to "fucking Haven," Dwight concluding that this is still a third Trouble (drink!) as compared to the "bomb" at the bookstore and the person in glass on the beach earlier, which is a cute assumption and also wrong. And Jordan wants to lock up the boys rather than letting them be useful. I will admit that in her worldview, what we call useful is dangerous, they're unpredictable and constantly fuck up her plans, but they're also good at fixing the Troubles. Unfortunately for her, without Audrey around, which Dwight carefully avoids saying thank you Dwight for a modicum of tact, they desperately need all the help they can get. And this is where Vince loses a little of that dull evaluating look, Vince will back Dwight up now, chewing Nathan's ass with quiet and vicious force about how if he wants to help Haven, to save it, if he's willing to die for it he might want to start small with some living for Haven, first. And helping out. It's a really fascinating mini-arc Vince is going through in this one scene here, and makes me want to bite him till his thinky thoughts come pouring out; what is going on in this man's head? Less deeply but no less important, this also results in a fascinating demonstration of current Guard dynamics, since Nathan also needs to convince the Guard that his motives are pure and his heart is true. And it's a good place for Vince to wedge in some of his old control of the Guard, by asserting that Nathan should be allowed to do this and that a better use of their time and resources is to check the surrounding blocks for casualties. GOOD PLAN, VINCE. That's one of the first glimmers of why he leads (led?) the Guard we've really had, and it's clear that he has experience and authority still on his side. At least one of the unnamed Guardsmen looks to Jordan for confirmation, and she neither gives it nor contradicts Vince's orders, which leads to Vince barking like a drill sergeant. Something that, last season, I doubt he'd have needed to do in order to obtain compliance. So he has some control over the Guard still, but it's tenuous and predicated on good sense more than blind loyalty, any longer. And at least some faction of the Guard now looks to Jordan to lead them, whether out of fear or out of loyalty is a good question and we're glad you asked it.

Okay then! Down to the station they'll go, where Dwight can fill them in on stuff. Jennifer continues to be the voice of new viewers while reminding old ones that yes, Haven is actually a freakyass unsafe place and we should be concerned both about it and about the way everyone here takes these things as commonplace. First, the boys get some nominal privacy to hash out Nathan's supposed show. No, sorry Duke, the reason Nathan sold that whole thing so well is because he was telling the truth. Interestingly, though they've been shooting Duke in the sinister position a fair bit this episode, they've given it back to Nathan pretty solidly since the boys reunited. Yeah. Because that's not significant or anything. Nathan really needs to put the martyr complex down, not that he's going to do it anytime soon, not even with Jennifer adding the voice of common fucking sense. Yes. That is a BAD PLAN, Nathan Wuornos, and you should feel bad. He's not even remotely listening to the very valid objections Duke raises, first that Audrey would never go for it (in point of fact, she KNEW that was an option when she said goodbye and she neither did it nor told the boys about it!) and second that Nathan has to be very, very sure that he's her True Love if she's going to kill him and end the Troubles. Well, True Love is the term Duke uses, past terms have included "the one she loves the most" and "the man [she] loves" which doesn't have the same romantic requirement of True Love, and also simply that it has to be someone she loves. All of which is to point out that assuming that it has to be Nathan or Duke is possibly misleading, because the person AudSarLu is at root is the sort of person who has agape for all the Troubled people she's helped. Well, most. Maybe not the ones who are truly malicious, but the ones who are genuinely afflicted and want not to hurt anyone more than they want not to be hurt, yes. I use the Greek term advisedly because fuck this overly generic "love" word, love comes in all qualities and strengths and have I mentioned lately that this is a shitty, tricksy bit of phrasing? Because it is, and it's devised as a punishment, not as any kind of truly Troubles-ending mechanism. Unless by ending the Troubles we mean ending the world. WHO KNOWS. That would be a very Stephen King-esque double meaning, though: do this terrible thing and this other terrible thing will end, but the cost of it ending will be even higher.

So, speaking of true loves and things that Nathan's sure about, let's cut right on over to Lexie and William! Where it looks like they've been staring rapturously into each other's eyes for the last however long. Certainly her expression's become a little more evaluating, with a decent amount of attraction behind it. These two have a very, very interesting chemistry, but then again we're pretty sure Colin Ferguson could have chemistry with a rock. Which Emily Rose is anything but. Lexie's doing the usual flirting with the new, handsome, polite customer, as you do when you've just expressed interest in finding a decent guy. Which is kind of hilarious; Sarah was certainly interested in sex and romance, but she wasn't really looking for any long-term encounters. Lexie seems almost boy-crazy, in a teenagery way. William flirts right back, telling her she's a reason to come into the bar and leading to questions like, how the hell did he find out where she works? If it were me I'd be on creepy stalker alert even with Colin Ferguson's face in front of me. Or at least, it's a potential red flag. Another red flag comes in the hesitation in introducing himself! Uh-um-William, indeed. There's a theory running around Tumblr that he's actually Fitzwilliam Crocker, creator of the silver boxes that held Simon Crocker's diaries and assorted Troubled-hunting gear. We consider this not a bad theory, and raise that it's Fitzwilliam Crocker's father. Because, and this is an important detail, Fitz is an appellation signifying that one is a bastard (as we discussed in our Crocker bloodline post). And we're pretty sure that the whole thing started with some kind of a love triangle given the preponderance of them around Sarah and Audrey (Vince and Dave with Sarah, Nathan and Duke with Audrey), and Fitz making the boxes in response to his parents' clusterfuck would be about right. It also explains why the Crocker Trouble resembles a destructive form of AudSarLu's ability, because they are genetically linked from centuries ago. It settles the vague out-of-his-time attitude that William displays, and we'll see in a bit that he's got some of the other Crocker traits as well, at least as represented by Duke, as the one we have the most personality traits from. We hypothesized for awhile last night that he might be the new barnvatar, or the opposing force to the barnvatar, or the barnvatar's boss, and in conjunction with those last two possibly love incarnate. William being William Crocker who fell in love with AudSarLu, had a child out of wedlock with her (whether or not either or both of them were married is a matter of speculation, but AudSarLu presumably had a second suitor), and kicked the whole fucking thing off as a result of someone's jealousy and spite? Would fit all those aspects in spirit if not in actuality. Certainly whoever William is, he's not from around here, he's dubiously human in a way similar to AudSarLu and/or the barnvatar, and he appears to be a direct response of the barn to the violence done it. Yes, it amuses us to think that the barn basically hauled someone out of its recesses (how William Crocker might have ended up in there to begin with is ANOTHER excellent question and one we need more data to answer, assuming we're even right) and said "Fine, you helped start this, go fix the goddamn problem."

That massive digressive bit of speculation aside, what we do know is that Lexie steps up the flirting, maybe without even knowing why, in response to him saying she's got a pretty name. She's been here about a month (oh really? though that's a short enough timespan for her not to know all the semi-regulars/seasonals) and never worked in a bar before, thought it'd be fun and she'd meet interesting people and she could possibly be more obvious but she'd have to have a lower-cut shirt as she leans over and asks if he's interesting. It's cute, though, in that very obvious way. One other thing we should mention is that by the bar's decor, they either are or want us to think they're in cow and cowboy country. And that we may not be in Maine, judging by Lexie's reaction to William's little fishing expedition earlier. You know where I almost bet this place is if it's not in Maine? (Please don't be in Derry. Nothing good ever comes from Derry.) Nederland, Colorado. It'd suit the King themes, and it'd suit the barn's sense of whimsy. Go you forth and have a genuine quest/journey! They continue flirting right up to the point of quiet piano music of "aww they're adorable!" and agree to meet somewhere after Lexie's shift. With that adorable bashfulness that Colin Ferguson is so good at bringing, but also a familiarity. Almost ease, as though this is a comfortable place he's come back to after a long while, albeit not sure of his welcome, mostly shown in the continual smiling-smile fading a bit-smiling again. And then cue the bass and the cymbals and it's a weedy looking disheveled guy! With a gun, walking in ready to do violence to someone. We can tell by the way he carries himself, too, even without the musical cues it's a nice bit of physicality. By the way William looks over, anticipation hidden under those wide blue eyes, we at least can guess he's been waiting for this. So this is some kind of a setup, then, though if anyone's in on it besides William is one of those other good questions. We Carol Kane a bit at him over denying that he knows the guy, he may not know the guy personally but he knows a good deal more than he's telling. Up to and including what we just listed about the gun and violence, which Lexie now sees. By the rise of voices in the room, it sounds like this is the kind of bar where people note it and promptly go to the It's Not My Business place as long as he doesn't haul it out and start shooting. Also he's pretty incompetent with it. It is the job of incompetent gunmen to shove their guns down the front of their pants. Seriously, someday someone really will shoot their dick off on TV by doing that and I will have no sympathy. You fucking dumbasses.

William is apparently far from being a cop, which is a nice change from good ol' Sheriff Carter but doesn't give us any further information what he actually is. Awesome. I love lack of data. I love it so much I have teethmarks in my desk again. It does tell us that either he's been on the wrong side of the law before or he has some other reason to have contempt for it, possibly that it's failed him before. Which is a different form of the wrong side of the law. There's something definitely darker and less friendly in his expression when he says that, though. Reminiscent of another Crocker, shall we say, clinging onto our theory with both hands like Dobby with a sock? He proceeds to then appear to abandon Lexie to it, as he informs her that she'll have to deal with it herself despite having already heard from her about the 45 minute police response time (ouch) and by the way can he get some quarters for the jukebox? There's also definitely some push in the way he says handle it on her own, we can see it's a test even if she can't. Lexie being untrained as a cop or even in a line of work like Duke's, she doesn't pick up on his real motives and assumes he's ditching her while she has to go handle the probably psychotic gunman. Poor Lexie. Again, very very different from what we've seen of both Sarah and Audrey, and even the little bits we know of Lucy. Certainly the first two weren't the type to freeze up or shy away from dealing with violent idiots with guns in unorthodox fashion! Maybe this is a flaw in the barn's Ctrl-F/Replace, not giving her all the tools she needs to handle this? Maybe it didn't have time to find an ideal Replacement, with said tools? Maybe it's deliberate, since we're getting William here as her guide of sorts. That jukebox just so happens to be behind dude with a gun! And Lexie would love to sit down with him and his gun only she's really busy oh, okay, with a gun pointed at her middle she can make the time. In this better lighting we finally see clearly that she's mostly brunette but she's got streaks of Audrey's blonde in as highlights. We see what you did there, guys.

The gunshot right before ad break appears to be only on the soundstage, maybe from the jukebox, and designed to scare the shit out of us along with Lexie. It does a good job, because there's a moment of looking around to be sure it was only on the soundtrack. Nobody in the crowd reacts at all, though, and while this may be a dive bar, I think at least some of the patrons would react to a warning shot being fired. Interesting, he's left-handed, which isn't terribly common and even then sometimes directors will ask someone to change apparently handedness for a bit part. In this case, it has the effect of giving us Sinister Dude while leaving his dominant hand on the outside of the table. Psycho dude doesn't want the money, of course he doesn't, and the glasses are coming off! Which is about as good as rolling up sleeves or taking off a jacket for Shit's About To Get Real signals. Plus if he took off the jacket he might reveal a Guard tattoo or something. That would be data, and we can't have that. Whatever he wants he doesn't get a chance to say, because here comes William with a pool cue to save the day! This is one of those fight scene we wish there was more of, and that's clearly shot to conceal the extent of the character's abilities. Possibly to conceal a stunt double, as well, that's one we don't know about. The camera angles are blocking Colin Ferguson's beautiful body instead of framing it. It's tragic. Gunman is sufficiently inexperienced to take his gun off Lexie in response to her look up at William, which gives him the opening with the pool cue. Interestingly, and sensibly in such confined quarters, he discards the weapon for bare-knuckle brawling before moving for the gun. He's also comfortable not just with firearms but with modern firearms if our time-lost theory is correct, something we guessed from the comment about carrying a weapon earlier but it's nice to have the confirmation. Pointing it up at the ceiling is the best of a lot of bad options in here in case of accidental discharge, since his next move would presumably be to point it at the ex-gunman. He doesn't need to do that to be sufficiently intimidating that Weird Psycho Guy goes away, though! And tucks it into the small of his back with the ease of long experience, the only sensible place to put a pistol when you don't have a holster for it. Lexie's experiences, whatever she believes them to be, are such that she dove for cover at the earliest opportunity and stuck around waiting it out, possibly for lack of any better idea than to wait, possibly also because moving rapidly might draw the attention of Weird Psycho Guy. The bar patrons all lined up to watch the fight rather than fleeing the scene, which is about par for the course with this place, and William comes over to check on Lexie with the kind of urgency we'd associate with someone in one of the emergency/military professions (usually the former) and/or a lover, family member, someone with a vested interest in this specific person. Certainly nobody else is checking on her! She insists she's fine, goes back to put the bar between her and all the fucking weird that's happened to her today. Oh Lexie. If only you knew. William has the abrupt attitude of a big guard dog. Pun halfway intended. Let us make more dubious faces at you, William, because we don't quite trust your motives yet.

Time for a pedeconference at the station! Nathan ribs Dwight about cleaner-to-chief by way of expo-dropping, which Dwight blames on the Teagues. I use the word blames advisedly, too, he doesn't sound thrilled about it. I'm guessing the station isn't too happy about it, either, judging by the way he keeps his hand over his gun both for concealment and in case of someone making a grab for it, and, heh. More expo-dumping as they walk through and garner a lot of turned heads, but it does give us about the same logical conclusion to why Dwight's the chief we'd come to: familiar face, inside the knowledge base of the Troubles. And a reminder that Nathan's still risking a lot coming back, that people who don't know why he left were upset with him for leaving and the people who did know still want him dead. Or at least punished. But the beat cops seem pleased by this turn of events, at least! Which speaks well to Nathan's previous relationship with them and maybe not so well to Dwight's current relationship with the rest of the force. Anyway. On into the chief's office, where Dwight has a murderboard for the recent Troubles, aww! Man after our own heart. The rest of this scene is simply to showcase the fact that a) they all need to be working together, including Duke and his traveling experience ID'ing the fulgurites. (Which are really cool, by the way.) B) it demonstrates for new viewers the process of explicating Troubles, c) it allows us to see how that process has been changed by a lack of Audrey. Specifically, even traumatized like the others but in possession of her memories? She would already have made the weather patterns leap and wondered what was up with Marion Caldwell. We get to watch Dwight hold very still, both in the way of a trained Ranger and in the way of a man conserving what limited energy he has left. I have to say, that Ranger training in deprivation has got to be coming in handy right now. (Seriously, go look up what Rangers go through. It's NUTS. Dwight's a fucking badass in ways we're only just beginning to see.) The boys slowly put it together, Nathan finally coughs up Marion's name and Dwight has a look of "hey I need information, here!" I could quibble, but the upshot is YES ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHARE ALL YOUR INFORMATION. Including the stuff that's oral tradition only. Jesus fucking hitman, people. No, of course there wasn't an official report, although this is a very nice callback and  quick explanation of the circumstances.

With them leaping into action, Duke knows they're about to go into more danger, so he'll take care of Jennifer! Aww, he's developing even more of a sense of responsibility and duty! Nobody tell him unless they want to see how much he can blush and deflect. He's sending her first to the Cape Rouge and then to the Gull, nice bit of realism with the touch that she has to take her meds with food (GOD yes, you don't want to know what taking psych meds on an empty stomach does to the rapidity with which they enter the bloodstream). Interesting that he assumes the boat will still be in dock and not sold off, along with the Gull being closed up but untouched. I… wouldn't be making any such assumptions, but he'll pull Stan over! Hi Stan! (Not Steve.) Who can take her down to the aforementioned places and steer her in a more currently-knowledgeable direction if need be. Good man. Both men. Vince and Dave will meet them at Marion's place, they really are going all hands on deck all the time. Guys, you need to start doing this in shifts. FIND some trustworthy people and assign them shifts. My god.

Speaking of Vince and Dave, Vince is on his way out of the Herald with a go-bag of some sort over his shoulder. He still looks tired and rundown, though maybe marginally less so now that Duke and Nathan returned bearing fractions of hope here and there. Very tiny fractions. 1/16th of a hope. Here comes Jordan to ruin his day some more, though! Did I say 1/16th? I meant 1/32nd. He tries to pre-empt her about his handling of the Nathan situation, because everyone and their dog-turned-human knows how Jordan feels about Nathan by now. Jordan claims it's not just her (with an interesting RP? mid-Atlantic? non-standard-American accent on that 'not,' there), but since it's Jordan we question whether this is objective or subjective "lot of rumbling." Then again, it's also been established that Vince is losing control over the Guard. Then again, possibly that's less Nathan directed rumbling and more The Old Man Is Losing It rumbling. I can't argue that they're wrong, but I also distrust Vince the way Maine's a bit chilly in winter. Jordan keeps on about Nathan, saying that everyone knows they never really wanted him dead, that he (Vince) looks weak. Vince will now use all of his massive height (seriously, the man was about the same size as Dwight in front of the bookshop and even allowing for Dwight's stooping and the curb height, holy moly) and lean in to Jordan, who responds with lifting her chin and straightening, so for all her bravado Vince is still fucking scary to her. He's scary to all of us, honey, even your erratic homicidal urges aren't that bad. Vince reminds her that he'll do whatever it takes to keep this town together and end the Troubles, and Jordan immediately takes this to mean he thinks she won't. For once, I find myself on Vince's side (it's a very disturbing place) because when he says it, I interpret it to mean that he's doing this in Sarah's name. Yes, Sarah, not Audrey, for all that he's good at adapting it's still Sarah who he loves and remembers. And he's helping Haven in her name and in her memory, not that he was ever that hateful of it before, but now he's actively working to preserve the people because it's what she would have wanted. Lucy and Audrey coming back only reinforces that. So. Vince turns to go again - a reminder that he doesn't see her as much of a physical threat, and Jordan breaks out the A word, because yes, this is about Audrey. It's always been about Audrey, which still pisses Jordan off, at this point to an irrational degree even if the original anger was reasonable and justified. (For the catching-up, Nathan dallying with her, at times it might have been genuine but other times he was so very definitely playing her, and the whole time being in love with Audrey. Yeah, I'd be pissed off too.) Mirroring the extent to which Jordan hates Audrey and everything she stands for, she projects that all Vince can focus on is that Audrey's alive, Audrey's coming back. I believe, and I think the evidence of Vince not dropping everything to find her bears this out, that while he is holding onto that hope he's still focused more on the town than on Finding Audrey. Because It's What Sarah Would Have Wanted. (Third time! Take a drink!) And more exposition, this time in the form of Vince explaining to Jordan that when he knew her she was Sarah, etc. Jordan has another swallow of bitters, Vince tells her to go home with the most dismissive, exasperated, "you are such a moron" look I've seen out of him ever. Donat is really bringing it this episode. I can't say it's fun, but I can't say I'm not enjoying it either. I do enjoy yelling at the creepy Teagues.

Rejoining the rest of the Scoobies, the fog and clouds are gathering over one house they're looking at with what looks like a new set of front steps or something, No, Duke, this does not look good. It is, in fact, very bad. It's even worse when they go in and it's fucking freezing in there, Mr. Bigglesworth. Duke and Dwight instantly huddle up and get all pink in the face. Nathan? P-shaw, he's fine. For a value of fine that means he doesn't know he's getting frostbite and hypothermia and pneumonia and every other damn thing you can get from being flash frozen. Duke would like to argue that Audrey's the immune one. I would like to argue that Marion's power doesn't affect people, as we saw in the pilot, it affects the weather, and Audrey is just as capable as they are of getting hit by the weather. As we saw in the pilot. Actually, for ability to withstand cold temperatures I would nominate Dwight for his aforementioned badass Ranger training, but no, it's Nathan. Dwight chatters out that he's got five minutes before he comes in and gets him. That works, too. Duke tries to stay longer, but it doesn't work so well. Poor Duke. This is one of many signs we've seen and I bet we'll see more of over the next few episodes about how worried he is about Nathan. We extend mad props, by the way, to Kris Wood and Stargate Studios and the special effects team for some really good cold breath effects here. He walks on over to one of the armchairs where Marion Caldwell... really looks dead, but she can't be, or her Trouble would have stopped. Also her eyes pop open, making for a nice jump scare as she sits up. I really wonder how the hell she's still alive in this weather. She's not immune to the cold, either. Narrative convenience, I'd imagine. Anyway. Yes! Nathan Wuornos came back. So did her Trouble. Because of Nathan, which is damn weird. How the hell does she know what happened in the barn? Is it that widespread knowledge? Did the Guard just go around telling everyone? Did the Guard just go around telling everyone to blame Nathan because reasons which might be made up or true or some combination of both, in order to get people to turn him in if he showed up? Now that I say that, though, it sounds a lot more plausible. The ice spreads out ominously from her, forcing Nathan back. Yeah, I'd say she's pissed.

When we come back from commercial those are some really ominous clouds forming overhead, and Marion's levering herself out of her chair and moving like one would expect an awkward statue to move. She does say that "everyone" said that the Troubles were supposed to go away when Audrey left, so I guess the Guard have indeed been doing some public opinion skewing? Nathan's willing to accept the blame for that (and potentially get himself killed, hey, Nathan? Remember the whole part about surviving so Audrey can kill you? What happened to that?) but she needs to stop hurting innocent people. Oh honey. You're assuming a lot more control on her part than she had the first time we met her. With the cold it's hard to tell the finer points of her facial expressions, but telling her that she's responsible for a lot of injuries and potential deaths is clearly not calming her down any. Guys. This is maybe not your best plan ever?  The storm rages outside, which is mostly how we know, and nearly brains Duke and Dwight with a tree. Hi Vince! Hi Dave! Welcome to hell. Duke, the sarcasm, while amusing, is unhelpful. It also seems to be giving everyone a case of the Obvious. The storm is getting worse? Really? Might as well cut that and just say it's heading towards the center of town, which is less obvious from the shots they've been using. And thus, oh shit. So, the fifty million dollar question, why did her Trouble come back? As before, it has to do with her love relationships, which in this case means Conrad. Let's all go back a minute or three to her hand on the arm of the couch, the close up of which was not coincidence, and remember that she had a ring of some kind on her finger. So they were either engaged or married. And if he's sitting quietly in that chair over there, well, chances are he's sitting deadly rather than quietly. It turns out that two days ago he was finishing up fixing some damage from the meteor storm, came in, said something about his cliche, er, arm, and quietly died of a heart attack. And Marion somehow blames herself? This is not as tightly written as the rest of the episode, not in terms of timing or in terms of dialogue fitting together, there's no obvious reason for her to be blaming herself for his death and while that happens all too often in the real world, in television there's always some more evidentiary reason. But no. She blames herself, she doesn't want to let this go, she's trapped in the immediacy of the death and the denial part, the magical thinking of if she'd done something (or, since this is Haven and dead people don't always stay dead, if she does something) Conrad might be alive. Outside, rumble goes the storm! Boom goes the Teagues' van! Crack goes the ice! Yammer goes the Nathan, not very well. Trying to empathize with someone over the death of their beloved, when they already blame you for their Trouble coming back? Not your best move ever. He pulls a nice save by linking her inability to accept Conrad's death with his inability to accept the loss of Audrey. (The FX and makeup people and Lucas pull some more nice moves with the lack of actual tears, the redness around the eyes, and the frost and puffs of frozen breath as we close up on Nathan's face so we can appreciate this. Nice work, guys.) We will now have a semi-rehash, just a quick one, of how Nathan plans to fix this and make it right, followed by a good dose of He Wouldn't Want This Because Of Him. Gee, this sounds awfully familiar. Marion doesn't think that she can live without him. Gee, that sounds awfully familiar, too! And it's interesting to note, since they're going to bring it out and wave it around in front of us this episode, that for all Haven's repetition of the theme that love conquers all, Omnia Vincit Amor, it's not ignoring the destructive power of love. We had it in Jordan and Creepy House Guy Holloway last season, we had a much much lighter version in Duke and Evi in season two along with the abusive husband in the bottle episode Lockdown, we even had it, again, in the premiere, with Marion and how her need to be loved was used against her. And now we'll see it again. What Nathan says as he crumples to the floor, this isn't love. It isn't healthy grieving either, but. This is obsession. The storm and the ice dissipate, and Nathan stumbles out and down the steps with Marion in his arms. Aww.

The Teagues will take charge of her, though I'm not sure what they think they're going to do with her. Oh, by the way, the song that's playing over this part? Lighthouse by Patrick Watson. That's all I'm gonna say about that. They shuffle Marion off somewhere, everyone can start to breathe again, except Nathan, who chokes up when he says how he learned from the best. Oh honey. You so, so broken. Duke continues to bring the hilariously, calmly pragmatic about the whole thing with epic delivery, I love you Eric Balfour. "She didn't want to hurt anyone." "Yeah, they never do. Well, some of them do." Hey, Dwight brought a badge! Like, seriously, he came prepared to offer Nathan a detective position because Haven PD and Haven in general needs him. And the fact that he convinced the Guard of this says something about who's in charge here. It's not Vince at the top anymore, if anything he's sharing that with Dwight about some things and Jordan with some people, now. That's going to come back to bite people in the ass later, I'm pretty sure of it. Anyway, Nathan not only declines, he's dismissive about it. For which he gets a face full of desperate Dwight. It's more than the chaos and the leadership role, it's that people are losing hope. Especially having been in Afghanistan, he probably knows how poisonous that can be in a long-term campaign. Duke will also poke Nathan with his own words, reminding him that police resources are generally helpful when finding missing people. Admittedly that was Nathan's idealistic hope before he got a faceful of the reality of people still wanting him dead. Plus, being a detective means he can play fast and loose with the rules, and that's the new chief saying that. It's both a hilarious commentary on what kind of chief of police Dwight is as well as a nice callback to Dwight's introduction as a "cleaner" and the subsequent trouble (lower-case t there) Nathan got into for his extralegal activities (Lockdown 2x09). All right, all right, he'll take the position. But they still need to find Audrey. I don't think you need to remind anyone of that, Nathan. We don't see Dwight's side of it, but it looks like he and Duke are exchanging well-fuck glances over Nathan's head, too. At a minimum Duke is continuing to give Nathan well-fuck looks.

Over to the Gull! Now that Duke's been liberated from his superheroic responsibilities. He's trying not to look suspicious of the party in full swing (which the music cues us into before we even get onto the scene proper), but, well, his bar is continuing on in his absence when he didn't make any provisions for it on account of not expecting to be absent, and what the fuck is this happy horseshit. Oh, hey! It's a hashtag on the wall of what looks like a dumpster corral or something. It's a bit hard to see between all the people, but that's definitely a hashtag. So we'll have fun with that this season, then. And there's Jennifer! Yes, Duke found the tornado lady and stopped the tornados, but the more pressing question is why the fuck is his bar open. Jennifer doesn't care, she has a margarita. Which she openly says she's not supposed to be drinking while on her meds, thank you for acknowledging that. Besides, Duke drinks half of it anyway, and probably needs something stronger. Oh, and she and Duke's brother decided this was worth the exception. (I'm assuming the 'this' is Duke's return from the dead. Which would certainly be cause for a drink for Wade whether in celebration or by way of aw fuck or both.) Wait, Duke's what? Does anyone remember all the way back in A Tale Of Two Audreys (2x01) when Nathan was keeling over from the death of the firstborn son curse, but Duke was fine? Yeah. He has at least one older brother out there. Clearly not that he's in contact with, though, so, yes. He's wary. And hostile. Ish. It's well-concealed hostility as OH SHIT IT'S THE ICE TRUCK KILLER! No, right now it's Duke's brother Wade. Looking all full of wide-eyed Does He Dare To Hope oh brother! Hold me! We'll try not to all roll our eyes out of our heads at this well-faked hug, both well-faked by Wade and well-fake-faked, if that's the right number and order of fakes, by Camargo. Having seen him in a number of other things we can be pretty damn sure the oversell there is on purpose. Duke may or may not have spotted the oversell, but he damn sure doesn't trust this guy any further than he can throw the Gull, display of effusive joy and relief or no. Especially not since by what Jennifer says, Wade's presenting himself as the owner of the Gull, aka Duke's primary source of (legitimate) income. That could be interesting, if he's forced to either go back to smuggling or work for his brother this season. Or if they decide to have it out with the legal ramifications of Duke's return from the dead. One final word to leave these boys on a sort of 'huh...' note, Wade has a wedding ring. This could be a massive plot point considering that out of three married Crockers we've only met one Mrs. Crocker, or it could just be they told Camargo to leave his wedding ring on why not. Who knows.

For our final scene we go back to Oatley's in what we still hope is Nederland CO, and Lexie is treating William to a grateful beer. She doesn't know what she would have done without him, etc. He thinks she would have been fine. She thinks she would have been shot because that guy had a gun, did you see that gun? She's never been that close to a gun before! (Which also tells us something about "Lexie's" past.) William gives the laugh we're all giving the screen and tells her she has, because apparently we're dispensing with the small talk and the gentle, cover-up lies now. He has a visible look of "well, fuck, here we go" as he tells her that the guy was there because of him, to stop him from telling her the truth. So, not likely to be the Guard, then? I have a brief moment of what if that guy was hired by William without that guy knowing it to try and test or shock Lexie into becoming Audrey or just, becoming who she inevitably turns into again? Given what he says overall, I don't think so, but it was an interesting theory for five minutes. Certainly he expected something like it and used it when it occurred, though I wonder if he expected it quite that soon. Anyway, he's going to tell her secrets about herself. Lexie, naturally, is skeptical that this utter stranger can know any true secrets about her, and what does he mean her name isn't actually Lexie, no beer of gratitude for him! He's not surprised by this reaction, nor does he push too hard against it (are you taking notes, Nick Burkhardt?), in fact there's a swallow of bracing himself between "think your name's Lexie" and "But it's not," he clearly isn't happy with having to do this. All the tells we'd usually pinpoint as lying (and he's already showing very few of them) are in this case coming across as extreme discomfort and dislike of what he's doing to this poor woman. Oh honey, if you think this is creepy, you don't want to meet the Teagues. It's also interesting that he doesn't say, tell her who she is, he says, "let me help you find out who you are," implying that it's the journey as much of the destination. He reaches out towards her but not to grab her, which also shows both sense and an awareness of personal space and how to use it. Then... indeed. An ominous dot dot dot! Well, then a lot of people are going to die. We knew this already. A lot of people have died. William can probably imagine it too, given that we have a good idea from various actor interviews and from the character's behavior just within this episode that he knows what happens when AudSarLuLex appears off schedule and out of Haven. Troubles running amok, cats and dogs living as humans, etc. So, riddle me this, Batman, if William already knows about the Troubles running amok without AudSarLuLex there to take care of things (and she's already exhibiting the lean-forward wide-eyed listening-intently signs of wanting to help even if her common sense is telling her this is a creepy creepy man) then what else does William know? What is he thinking is going to happen? That answer comes in two predictable words: Nothing Good.

A couple things for you to ponder which we didn't see addressed directly at all this episode: where the fuck is James Cogan? And will we see the Darkside Seekers transfer from Twitter to screen? Or perhaps more accurately, when and in what capacity. All those YouTube videos must be leading up to something, as with the Guard last season.
Yep, folks! We're back, and our long, long, long pages of endless recap and blather. For those of you just joining us, we have a link to the show page and all our resources up at the top. We'll be finishing out season one on Fridays, now that it's all written and just needs to be posted with some spacing so we all have room to breathe, and continuing to toss up season four recaplyses as things progress. We'll also at some point in the next few weeks add this new Crocker to our Meet the Crockers page, and as time permits, profiles of William at the very least. Please remember to validate your parking, and for all you nice folks in the Midwest, sorry we said fuck so much.


  1. I'm super pissed off because I had a grand comment typed and ready, and Blodspot ate it. Anyway, what I said amounted to: yay, you're doing season 4! Your analysis of Vince is great and very telling. Also, your William theory is one I would put money on. Y'all rock.

    1. Stupid Blogspot. Thank you! We plan to do this and Grimm and, eventually, Person of Interest all in realtime when we clear the backlog on the last. (So, y'know, maybe in time for PoI's fourth season...)

      The Teagues are getting increasingly fascinating this season as the circumstances break down all their carefully crafted armor. And we're only more convinced that William's part of the original love triangle (whatever his bloodline) the longer we watch.