I've Got A Theory. (It's A Demon.)

All right, Havenites. Gather ye round the campfire (and you better believe in this weather we have one) where we speculate wildly and with frothing glee on just what the shit is going on in our small town in Maine. By the time we'd finished the full recapalypse for the finale, the word count stood at about 15k, at the lower edge of our larger recaplyses, it was dinner time and we'd started at breakfast, and we knew that we were going to end up with at least a small shitpile of wild notions. So! Separate post it was. We are sorry that it took this long to get the post finished up. We're not sorry that we're posting it on the heels of the best news ever, aka 26-ep pickup for the next two years. So we'll be sticking around awhile longer, looks like. We do currently plan to work our way through the s2 episodes, probably aiming for posting during the summer again; a longer state of the blog will go up tomorrow once we've exhausted ourselves from squee. (K: That's not quite as dirty as it sounds.) (A: Speak for yourself.)

No Greater Love Haven S4E08 Crush

Previously, on Haven:  Wade was an addicted psychopath. And then he was a dead psychopath. So much for the Crocker Trouble, for the moment. Also, the Troubles are escalating, on purpose. And Nathan and Audrey done did it, and the whole fandom shouted ABOUT TIME. That's it, that's pretty much the sum total of the previouslies, and isn't that enough?

No, no it isn't. Because for your viewing displeasure today we will open on a completely wrecked Duke burying his brother, along with what looks like Simon Crocker's diary, which would make sense if he's trying to bury their Trouble as well. Eric Balfour, you're killing me here. More metaphorically than Wade would. Apparently Wade's middle name is Osbourne, which will cause us to give some sideways looks and ponder the incessant teasing in school. That field where Duke's burying his brother looks awfully familiar, but given the lack of immediately identifying markers or good long-shots as best we can put it it's either the field where Simon Crocker told Duke about Mrs. Holloway's class or the field where That Darn Barn was last seen. Sort of. The door was seen, anyway. I think the former, judging by the plethora of purple flowers, but we don't have random useful Syfy Sync tidbits from that far back, so we can't say for sure. Duke makes a couple starts at a eulogy but either can't find the words or can't say them, so into the grave goes Wade's black-wrapped body, and then it's filling the hole again. Dig a hole, fill it up. Oh Duke. He really did love his brother, as hard a time as they both had dealing with each other when Wade was alive.

Love Takes Hostages Haven S4E07 Lay Me Down

Previously on Haven! We're deep enough into this season that none of the scenes come from prior seasons, which is also a pretty good indication that this ep will involve some repercussions for what's gone before. Audrey's hiding who she really is from everyone but Duke and Nathan, who know her too well to let her get away with that shit for long. Duke and Wade suck at being functional family members, no surprise there, Jordan has Plans which backfire most horribly both in terms of her personal realizations and in terms of ending up dead. Oh, and Wade is completely off the fucking rails. Seriously, the more we look at this the more this is a weirdly steep escalation for someone who appeared to be a bit sleazy but not serial killer levels of bad guy before.

As You Are He As You Are Me Haven S4E05 The New Girl

Previously, on Haven: Nathan loves Audrey! Nathan's going to die by Audrey's hand! Lexie's stuck between worlds! If she makes it to the other side, who will she be? Whoever she most wants to be! And then someone shouts for Audrey and that should really be our first clue right there in the previouslies. Sadly, we didn't rate it high on the list of probabilities, though we did ponder it for a bit. Although that's the beauty of a great writing team, that after this long analyzing and predicting a show they can still surprise us like this. We should note that we'll be talking about the last five seconds' spoiler throughout this episode, so if you don't want to be spoiled we recommend even more than usual that you wait to read this until after watching. Boom! Audrey's on the other side, only now she's Lexie and she has no idea what's going on. Allegedly.

Today on Haven we pick up right where we left off and Nathan is pissed. Hard to say who he's pissed at, although he himself is probably at the top of that list. Lexie is a bit sheepish and also a bit wary of what's going on. Vince has that stricken look which means he's not looking forward to getting to know a fourth version and he's sad and misses Audrey. Jordan, as it turns out, is going to be gobsmacked by this for the least amount of time, likely due to her anger admitting only a limited amount of new information into her world view. The whole part where Audrey is now Lexie and this won't work is information her desperation won't allow. So, grab the shotgun, order Lexie to shoot Nathan. Or what? Or you'll shoot him instead? You can't shoot AudSarLuLex because she has to end the Troubles, and if you shoot Nathan you might kill him and then the Troubles still won't end, and this is all without her knowing that there is no barn anymore, so really this is grandstanding and venting rage and pain. (A: Can I just mention that Lexie's accent is in the process of disappearing already? Just saying.) Duke attempts to point this out to her, but she's even less prepared to listen to him than she is to listen to Vince's lameass attempt at barking commands. We've heard him bark commands with far more authority than he's assuming here; this isn't Master of the Guard, quick to grab a gun (yes we're going to keep doing that), this is tired and heartbroken old man. Dave has more force in his voice than Vince does, even though it's all desperation.

Other Worlds Than These Haven S4E04 Lost And Found

Previously on Haven: we are still in deep admiration of whoever's doing these previouslies. As much as we think they could use the extra minute or so of screen time to cram in more of the story, because of how serialized we've gone this season, we also have to admit that the summaries are necessary for people who are either not as fannish as we are or are coming to the show for the first time. This time, we have a fair chunk of the Nathan-and-Audrey love story, though with heavy emphasis on Nathan's side of things - he is, after all, the one who remembers right now. Maybe not forever, we've seen plenty of shots of AudSarLuLex in more Audrey-like clothes, but that could also be because those are the clothes left in Audrey's apartment which fit Lexie. Yes, we're here to bring you all of the worst possible interpretations. And yet you love us anyway for some reason. We also confirmed that the bar/n is, yes, That Darn Barn, and AudSarLuLex is somehow protecting herself by imagining the bar aspect. William? We don't know yet. Isn't it great? But she has to get out because it's still dying, so way-hey for the Dark Tower references this ep. You can expect a lot of swearing and a lot of DT in-universe slang to crop up. Hey, be grateful we don't write the whole recaplysis in Franglais, with A off to the De Temps Antan concert last night. Or turn all our swearing into Québécois patois.

Blood Love & Rhetoric Haven S4E03 Bad Blood

Previously, on Haven: Someone in the writer's room, editor's room, or some management position paid a lot of attention to detail on the previously clips because that's just about as efficient as you can get and still tell the story of how we got here in season four. Good grief. The gist of it? Audrey goes into the barn, the Troubles end for 27 years, so sayeth Howard the barnvatar. The source of her anti-Trouble is love, and every 27 years she has to come out to recharge that power source, whereupon she then goes back into the barn, which acts as an amplifier. Nathan doesn't want her to go into the barn! Nathan shoots Howard to get her back after she goes into the barn. The barn doesn't like this. It disappeared with Audrey, Duke, James, and Arla's body, the Troubles don't end, everyone blames Nathan especially the Guard, he resigns and goes into hiding, Dwight becomes Chief. Like you do when your Trouble makes you a bullet magnet. Duke gets spat out in Boston, makes it back to Haven with the help of Jennifer, who can hear in the barn, finds his brother Wade Crocker running his bar and does his best to try to pry him out of it. For reasons involving both his brother being an annoying pest and the Crocker family Trouble, with a reminder that Duke and Dwight used to have a much more contentious relationship than we've seen this season. (In no small part due to sheer desperation.) Dwight drags Nathan back into being a detective so they can work to stop the Troubles, Jordan follows them both around making dire threats and being in serious need of therapy. (Too bad the therapist's dead.) Meanwhile Audrey is now Lexie and working in what she thinks is a bar, where a man named William is following her around like an extremely knowledgeable and demented puppy. We got all that? There'll be a quiz later.

This week on Haven, we're taking a victory lap. A very small one. Around the couch and hiding behind it again from William. Augh. In the sewers is also a good place to hide from William! Or it would be if we weren't convinced he's a different version of the basement muse. Long story. At any rate, that's where this week's adventure in Haven begins, in the sewers, with a municipal worker griping about Haven's worst infrastructure in the country. And a dead rat who, according to Shernold Edwards, is our first victim of the week! The municipal worker, as we can tell, is our second victim. Doing double duty as our first human victim and the person who discovers the first victim, so, every available role for the person who appears in the first minute or two of Haven! Excellent. The red filter and angle from above tells us he's about to be death from aboved. As, indeed, he is shortly thereafter. Blood splatter on the wall! This was evidently a messy death.

What You Need To Live Haven S4E02 Survivors

Previously, on Haven. We get pretty much the same footage as we did last time (leading to about a second of wondering if someone aired last week's by mistake, that is almost the exact same footage) followed by some informative clips from the season four premiere! So everyone's all caught up, then. The clips (as well as the ep) are noteworthy almost as much for what didn't get mentioned as what did; we'll call your attention to the Cogans in particular. I very much doubt that's a through-line that's been dropped so much as, Audrey no longer exists quite on this plane of existence, assuming the barn still has her memories intact, and Nathan and Duke are the only other two likely to care and they don't have time.

Nobody Knows The Troubles I've Seen Haven S4E01 Fallout

Previously on Haven! Our standard voiceover paired with massive imagedump for those who need a refresher or those just tuning in, why Audrey has to go into the barn and some of the more horrific of last season's Troubles. Also, Jordan. And the barn. And the barnvatar. And that whole entire clusterfuck at the very end. Guys, I promise, that is seared on our retinas.

This week on Haven: Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Fallout is right.

Duke lands in the barn, having flung himself in after Audrey, but she's not in view. Neither is Arla or James. So, that might well come back to bite us, then! And in places we wouldn't want bitten, too, considering Arla's fragile and homicidal state of mind. Nathan shooting Howard is also coming back to bite everyone, because the barn is having as many structural integrity issues as Howard was. The most irritating part of this is that it deprives us of seeing what a normative barn experience is like, what happens when AudSarLu goes in it on a normal cycle. I'm pretty sure it doesn't shake itself to pieces, though, which is what the barn seems to be doing now. Falling debris, holes opening up. Duke has no idea what's going on. Or at least about as much idea as we do, which isn't much. Audrey's memories-slash-clips from last season are being played all over the walls and broadcast all through the barn, which is interesting but entirely uninformative. To us, anyway, although the emphasis on saying goodbye, questions of humanity, love, motherhood, and ending the Troubles is kind of like a ten-second tour o' Haven's Themes. To Duke, some of these conversations he wasn't there for, so he's paying more attention to that for a moment than he is to his surroundings. At least until the floor drops out and he falls…