Simon Says Haven S2E12 Sins of the Fathers

Previously: Audrey found the original Lucy Ripley, who has not gone to the barn and had her memories erased! And… Simon Crocker was looking for AudSarLu when she was Lucy. Oh GOODIE. We will be reminded yet again of how Duke is at the center of everything going on in Haven, and lost Evi as a result. And oh look, part of that involves the Crocker boxes, now with the big version, hi Dwight you're like a big version, and killing AudSarLu. Gee. I wonder what the Rev's plans were for Duke! Let's find out on a moonlit night in Haven. We open with the Trouble, not the town's tarnished trio, which just means the Trouble's going to be inherent to them all as we learn what it is and how it works. Some Dude is asleep when Some Other Dude appears and wakes him insisting he go save a woman named Sheila who's in danger from a guy with a gun! This cannot possibly end badly! First Dude looks like he's about to tell the other guy that he's dead or something, oh yay just what we need. Yes, the guy with a gun is going to be you, honey. Arlo is meanwhile across the street with Sheila telling her to be quiet and careful and he'll keep her safe until Bill gets here. Of course you will. Vindictive ghostly bastard. This translates to mock-strangling her and Bill shooting her through the ghost. As you do. Evidently this was, as one might expect, payback for sleeping with Sheila, who was Arlo's wife. I assume he was hoping for a murder-suicide but will take one out of two.

Next morning, Duke and his truck are headed downtown at the same time as Audrey and… that looks like still a rental? Audrey when are you going to give in and buy a used cheap car. She's headed for the Herald, Duke is headed for her, it looks like after the ulp-ing at the end of last ep they haven't talked since and now things have an extra helping of Awkward. Duke's going to confront this head-on! Honey. Audrey's off to confront other people head-on, she's not upset with you, go hold her flower while she kicks the Teagues' ass. I would pay such good money for that alt-version of this scene. Alas, no, he's determined to explain that he is REALLY not going to kill her, he doesn't take assassination requests from dead as well as deadbeat dads. Audrey please stop being quite so emotionally repressed, you're going to sprain something. She does realize after the bad joke that she needs to take him a little more seriously than that, but the words "I believe you" would help here. A lot. And not leave Duke sighing at the heavens while Audrey storms into the Herald.

Love Connection Haven S2E03 Love Machine

Previously on Haven! Duke's contentious marriage! Freaky things happen in Haven! Like the Chief turning into rock and explode. Nathan doesn't know if he can hold it together like his Dad did. That's okay, Audrey's here to help the people of Haven! (Those of us who have seen the fourth season are laughing hysterically now.) And there's another Audrey! Well, shit.

All right, those of us who have seen up to current, go ahead and laugh it all out now as Audrey asks Vince if he knew her mother. Laugh it out. I'll wait.

(Those of you who are just now getting to seaon two, you really may want to stop reading. On the other hand if you've been reading this far, you know exactly how spoilery we are and probably most of the spoilers. Read on at your own risk.)

We start with a nice and deceptively calm flyover of Haven, as per usual, and move on to a guy clearing out the observers as he tries to fix a boat. Coffee should help! No, actually, there's no coffee that'll help this cranky boat. The initial cuts over to boat equipment, what looks like the netting winch? I'm making that term up because I don't actually know the vocabulary of fishing boats. Anyway, whatever that piece of equipment is, it's doing the ominous noises of Machinery About To Come To Life. And if we've all seen Maximum Overdrive the possessed machinery trope, we know exactly what to expect by the second cut over. The first one could be a distraction, sort of the on-a-fishing-boat equivalent of the cat scare. The second, not so much. On the third everything kicks into motion, because it's a rule, but in this case it's only a half-obeyed rule in the sense that we don't get the violent act, just the boat visibly moving by itself. In this case, the boat disgorging a fish. And then, the boat disgorging a shitton of fish. And then, the boat appearing to randomly send itself down the river.

A Life Half-Lived Haven S2E02 Fear & Loathing

This is one of those ridiculously loaded eps that's a) only as loaded as it is in hindsight and b) I'm pretty sure they've still got some weapons stockpiled in their Chekhov's Armory from this one. So brace yourselves for a lot of fucking swearing, y'all, this one's going to be an interesting ride. Previously on Haven! There were two Audreys. One of them understands and is immune to the Troubles. The other one hasn't quite learned yet not to say that things in Haven are impossible. Both are duly freaked the fuck out. Oh, and Nathan can't feel things, and someone with a goddamn fucking Guard tattoo wants to kill Duke, and Garland died so now Nathan has to hold the town together. That's a lot of themes running together at once, you guys, dear lord. It's kind of impressive how they managed to actually work them in without making my head explode from pacing.

Audrey II Audrey Haven S2E01 A Tale Of Two Audreys

Previously, on Haven! The Troubles. Agent Fuck You Howard. Audrey helps Haven, quitting her alleged job at the FBI to do so. Nathan! The Chief's son, and the consummate small-town cop. Duke! Resident bad boy. Nathan can feel Audrey's touch! The Chief turns to rock and explodes! Vince and Dave pick up the pieces, in an astounding display of symbolism. The Rev is ominous and threatening! And Agent Audrey Parker comes to Haven. The other Agent Audrey Parker.

So we start off with this resolution of the first of several cliffhangers, only not so much of a resolution, I think. Audrey being Audrey, she's more interested in answers and getting things to a point where people aren't in imminent danger of death than following the letter of the law and procedure of the FBI, especially when she's starting to get the idea that she's not Audrey Parker, former FBI anymore. Before she found out that she had been Lucy Ripley she might have been closer to Nathan's stance, but now she's at the very least reeling from that and aware that Audrey II is right, she is the real Audrey Parker. Not that Nathan has had time to absorb the implications of that yet, as much as she had. A little too much has been going on to have a good sit-down about what she's learned, which is definitely a recurring problem in Haven. Nathan is fully in favor of challenging Audrey II and shooting her if need be; as he says, he knows his Audrey, and she's a stranger. Let's all note that Audrey II is also in standard government agent black, whereas Audrey Parker even when she thought she was an FBI agent leaned towards lighter neutrals. It's a little bit as though costuming is reminding us what a real FBI agent looks like, and that our Audrey isn't. So. Audrey II finally surrenders to the logic of two guns pointed at her and puts down her weapon, and Nathan holsters his and, presumably, moves to handcuff her. Audrey looks like she's lowering hers, though not holstering it, and we'll skip the formalities for now.

Choose Someone Else Haven S5E13 Chosen

Previously on Haven! Audrey is sick. Audrey is undergoing Spiderman-style clone decay, I forget the exact name for this, really you guys? Mara wants aether to fix Duke. Nobody believes her except maaaaybe Duke, and he really shouldn't. We get reminded of the existence of the open thinny in Manteo, which has apparently been nothing but a plot device to get us to Bad Decisions time at the end of the episode? I really hope they pick that up next season. Dave has Weird Shit and visions and Croatoan and no, none of that makes sense yet either. Even at the end of the ep. Cue showdown with Charlotte, who turns out to be one of the… whatever aliens/superhumans/whatever the fuck they are, from the other side where Mara and William came from. Why? Because she's Mara's mother! Well, she phrases it as Audrey's mother, but even for the heinous villain Charlotte turns out to be I can sort of forgive her eliding that when confronted by a woman with her daughter's face.

This week… okay I'm going to be upfront with you guys: for us, this was a giant fucking mess of an episode, the magic rules don't make SENSE, they break their own rules at every turn, and given that we've spent four seasons with every woman who isn't Audrey Parker and is on the show for any length of time getting completely fucked over by the narrative, this is… really kind of gross, by the time we get to the end. Apparently if you're not a self-sacrificing empathetic savior figure, you don't have worth as a woman on this show. I'd try and point at Gloria as the exception except she's raising her grandson in the twilight of her life and gave up a peaceful retirement to come back and be the coroner in the middle of the worst bout of Troubles; if that doesn't scream the Crone version of sacrifice and empathy I don't know what does. So if you don't want to read a lot of snarling punctuated by cheering for Dwight going NOPE YOU LIED IN A BIG WAY I'M OUT, GOT SHIT TO DO, I suggest you skip this recapaplypse.

Trust But Verify Haven S5E11 Reflections

Previously on Haven: how do you solve a problem like the CDC? If you're Dwight, you adopt the new person and are all YES PLEASE YOU ARE SHINY AND PRACTICAL AND NOBODY ELSE AROUND HERE IS. Gee, it's like she was kind of tailor-made for Dwight. Or he was handpicked by her. Or both? Vince was investigating things. Mara was a manipulative fuck at Duke some more, who at least for now seems to be giving in rather than playing her, which is mildly irritating. And Nathan is freaking right out over Audrey still being sick even after Pete's contagion Trouble got, um, dealt with. This seems reasonable, honestly! I'd be pretty freaked too.

We open, oh, probably a day or two after the last episode, not more than that judging by lack of decomp on the body in the crime scene photos. Plus these seasons have been getting what feels like increasingly compressed in their timeline. Nathan is bringing case files instead of coffee and they have one of those quiet, adorable bantering moments. Except Audrey being tired, not just tired of the Troubles and the murders and wishing she could still fix them the way she used to, not just with the barn but with her immunity and the sense of purpose it gave her. At any rate, Nathan's the one holding the intelligence and willing to say shit straight out here while Audrey reaaally would rather not be thinking about what Duke's up to. Whether that's using his Trouble by choice or letting Mara off the boat; I wonder for the umpteenth time how much knowledge of who Mara is and what she's willing to do Audrey learned while she was fighting for her existence. Because I'm sure the answer is "lots" but she's also not talking about it to anyone. About much of anything. Though she will still almost pick a fight with Nathan about whether or not he thinks she's a really real person. Oh Audrey, have you been paying any attention? Nathan will believe you're real with his dying breath. Has! Several times, depending on how you measure it from what happened to Nathan versus what he was expecting to happen. But she is still sick, has a racking cough and probably fatigue, judging by the snippiness, and Nathan, now that Audrey is in need of a kind of support he's better able to give, has picked up the common sense ball! Oh Nathan. It's true, too; they don't know the details of how that Trouble affected Mara and Audrey, and with the loss of her immunity who the hell knows what else might've happened to her. Long term effects are never any fun.

A Plague On Troubled Houses Haven S5E09 Morbidity

Previously on Haven! Mara calls Duke on splitting her from Audrey and keeping them around. Chris Brody turns up, which means we're having probably more than the usual quota of s2 callbacks. Dave's leg and the CDC are a little beyond a Trouble and straight into a problem.

Let's start with oh goodie, more of Dave's fucked up dreams. I think there's a little more green on the blue filter than there has been, which might not mean anything other than oh look a lot of trees. And then, right, chasing through the forest, no more filter which means, I guess, all the way out the other side of the thinny and into our world? Or that's the suggestion of it, at least. Then running into the deer and killing it, that we've seen before. The deer morphing into a still-alive naked young woman who screams and has black fog coming from her face is a new one on us. Sort of reverse Greek, isn't it? CROATOAN carved into the tree is also old, but masses and masses of dead? unconscious? paralyzed? people dressed in colonial-era (probably meant to be Pilgrim-era) clothes. It's blurry and foggy and hard to get more than a rough count, but that looks like… eh, fifteen or so people, all ages, men and women. I think I am going for paralyzed, because one of the figures is sitting. And then we see the thinny from this side, glowing blue and green and all kinds of ominous!

How Infinite In Faculty Haven S5E03 Spotlight

Previously on Haven, someone edited the fuck out of this sequence to make it look like Nathan was the only person with emotional issues surrounding Audrey versus Mara. Ahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. No, nuh-uh, cute, nice try, nope. Though the Teagues are Sirs Not Appearing In This Episode, which doesn't give us any of the warm fuzzies, just means their assorted issues are taking place, shall we say, offstage. This does not, in fact, inspire confidence or trust in what happens when they return. As it is, our drama this episode is almost entirely, thank you previouslies, about Nathan and Maraudrey. Also we had Jennifer die so Duke could be sad (seriously this is Haven you guys couldn't have left it a mystery? what's one more? honestly) and Dwight took over the Guard. Nobody believes Nathan actually plans to deliver Maraudrey to the Guard because Nathan is an easy fucking mark. Okay, possibly not a mark, but still and nonetheless, I disapprove so much of all of his actions.

See Her Very Well Haven S5E01 See No Evil

Haven S5E01 See No Evil

At long, long last - no, really, this has been one of the longest fucking summers of our lives - we return to you with more new Haven. (S2 catch-up on Haven, along with Sleepy Hollow and the little-discussed but much-considered Helix, are all on the backburner until we figure out what new fall schedules do to our ability to get posts out while retaining what we pretend is our sanity.) A word to the wise in case you're new, or if you've just forgotten in the intervening months: this is not a shipper blog. We actually care very little, at this point, about the Nathan/Audrey romance, not least because Nathan goes through long periods of level-grinding where he flings himself like an idiot at a brick wall, metaphorical or literal, and then has sudden Moments Of Awesome. Which is totally plausible as a character! I know people like that! They're just unfortunately always the kind of person you want to smack upside the head with a cluebat until they get it.

I've Got A Theory. (It's A Demon.)

All right, Havenites. Gather ye round the campfire (and you better believe in this weather we have one) where we speculate wildly and with frothing glee on just what the shit is going on in our small town in Maine. By the time we'd finished the full recapalypse for the finale, the word count stood at about 15k, at the lower edge of our larger recaplyses, it was dinner time and we'd started at breakfast, and we knew that we were going to end up with at least a small shitpile of wild notions. So! Separate post it was. We are sorry that it took this long to get the post finished up. We're not sorry that we're posting it on the heels of the best news ever, aka 26-ep pickup for the next two years. So we'll be sticking around awhile longer, looks like. We do currently plan to work our way through the s2 episodes, probably aiming for posting during the summer again; a longer state of the blog will go up tomorrow once we've exhausted ourselves from squee. (K: That's not quite as dirty as it sounds.) (A: Speak for yourself.)

Cradle Will Fall Haven S4E12 When The Bough Breaks

Previously, on Haven: There was a creepy book with a creepy symbol and a creepy saying that creepyass William somehow knew and thus wanted to kill Jennifer. Also William and Audrey were so connected, and together they had made the Troubles, as Audrey told Vince. Many fucks were given, not all of them in English.

This week on Haven! There's a creepyass canned baby scream on the air, and a guy mowing his lawn drops dead! For comedic effect the lawnmower keeps going without him, I guess because it's one of those models? The Rule of Darkly Funny model. A guy playing tennis concludes his game, hears the sound, and also drops dead, although this time we get confirmation that the other person around him doesn't hear it, so only people who hear the sound drop dead. Perhaps it's time to invest in earplugs? A girl is washing a bright red sporty looking car with a guy, and, yep, drops dead. This is pretty right out of the gate! Also quick and lethal. That doesn't bode well.

C&H Report HV411 (complete) Haven S4E11 Shot in the Dark

[N.B.: This recapalypse may look… slightly different to you, to go along with the somewhat different Haven episode. Blame us or blame Nick Parker for an excellent, hilarious episode; we recommend this tag for your ease of reference. We also invite you to check out this list of resources and email/tweet/snail-mail as many people at SyFy as you can in these next two weeks to tell them what you love about Haven and why they should renew it for a fifth season. If we're missing something, drop us a line here or on Twitter!]

To: Adsartha Hammett <ahammet@[redacted]>

CC: Danielle Matheson <dmathes@[redacted]>, Peter Torkarov <ptorkar@[redacted]>, Sam Connor <sconnor@[redacted]>, Ash Dunlevy <adunlev@[redacted]>, Jared Engel <jengel@[redacted]>, Daifyn Ifans <difans@[redacted]>, Alec Cray <acray@[redacted]>, Thomas Marlowe <tmarlow@[redacted]>, Eve Marlowe <emarlow@[redacted]>, Alan Donnelly <adonnel@[redacted]>

Date: 11/23/13

Re: HV411

As you are no doubt all aware, the entity currently known as William arrived in Haven under false pretenses of amnesia, maintaining that disguise for all of a day before his accomplishments with the mind-altering black pebbles whose substance has yet to be determined, but which also seem to contribute to his ability to mark other people and alter their Troubles. Subsequent events have confirmed the connection he claims to have with the entity currently known as Audrey Parker, via a shared gunshot wound. Unfortunately the gunshot was inflicted before the William entity could share what information he has about the Troubles and their origin, and his part in the existence of Haven. We have no doubt that the information he intended to share was highly suspect, but it at least would have provided a framework for future theories.

(And no, no one is allowed to interfere with Nathan Wuornos or point out to him that shooting everything that comes out of the barn might not exactly be the best policy.)

Further developments in the William case were complicated by the arrival of the would-be mysterious Darkside Seekers at North Haven Cemetery on June 20th. Despite their lack of what any right-thinking operative would call competence they were in possession of a video camera and an internet connection, which is all one needs these days to cause trouble. At least one of them appears to consider himself a legitimate investigator or scientist, despite having only the rudimentaries of investigation, no situational awareness, and no concept of scientific method. Byrne fell over a pile of garbage bags, for crying out loud. Though he has a point about the gas leaks. He and Harris arrived at the scene of the first incident immediately after its conclusion and proceeded to trample over most of the finer evidence, discovering the corpse and disturbing the entity within, causing its flight before it could be apprehended. Though the Seekers were too caught up in their own flight to note this at the time or later, we noticed that the entity did not try to attack either of them, indicating that despite its apparent lack of control or a clear pattern, one existed. I strongly recommend apprehending the Darkside Seekers after they are outside the town borders and educating them in proper investigative procedures and respecting the team already on the ground.

KC

Cries Crescendo To Cantata Haven S4E10 The Trouble With Troubles

Previously on Haven: AUGH IT'S A WILLIAM. Staring into the glass. Putting glowy charcoal handprints on people. Being Flagg-esque. Getting his throat ripped out oh no wait, that's only in my dreams. You fucker. I hope Audrey finds a way to make that work. We'd like a little William-throat-ripping one of these days. In fact, this entire set of previouslies is designed to catch us up on William and nothing but that plotline, which should tell us something about how completely fucked everyone is. I'll also just go over here in the corner and twitch on how first couple listen-throughs I thought that was William with the voiceover. It's Nathan, which confusion should give everyone fits. Yes? Yes. Good. Now that you're all suffering with us, let's begin.

For once we're not picking up immediately where we left off, so whatever Audrey was seeing or thinking about as she stared over Nathan's shoulder in that field we'll leave alone for now. Safe bet that the latter was William and all his fun little revelations, anyway. No, we've got a massive explosion of some kind, everyone's covered in soot and ash and assorted emergency personnel are getting civilians to safety and oh shit it's that guy from Jericho. I guess we know who the Troubled person of the week is! What we don't know is whether or not he started out that way, which is a nice wrench for the writers to throw in the works and get to play with: they can get guest stars that the entire SF/F watching community will know and we still won't necessarily know what the deal with them is until we see the episode. It really changes up the procedural aspects even as they retain some of them. Susie, Cliff's wife, is going to the hospital and though she's conscious, by the noises everyone's making and the grim look on Audrey's face I'm guessing those are some pretty serious injuries. Because, you know, piece of rebar sticking out of her side. Also that's some pretty serious guilt on Audrey's part. Honey, whoever you were, the person you are now isn't the sort to make deals with evil fuckers like William and definitely isn't the sort to be happy about what he's doing, but this is not your fault. Not Audrey Parker's fault, anyway. She really does sound like she's about to break down when she says it's William, though. Duke pulls up and has much flailing and cranky, though he seems to have had the I'm-leaving bullshit smacked out of him most thoroughly. Good. Sort of. This serves to establish the triad as their usual competent, snarky, exhausted but always trying for others selves, and gives them a chance to name Doreen Hanscombe and explain that William superpowered her Trouble. From sand in her shoes to a volcano exploding when she remembers her trip to Hawaii, and she gets to be untouched while seeing the havoc her Trouble's wreaked. Oh, and the Crocker Trouble continues to be off the table, let's not forget. Guilt for everyone! Duke will go check on Jennifer, and by way of providing more adorable couples Nathan says let's go home. We can all take a moment to be thrilled down to our toes that he says home and means Audrey's place.

Stigmata Turns To Stigma Haven S4E09 William

This ep recapalypse is duly dedicated to Shernold. For her birthday we made her a lot of swearing at all the reveals she wrote into this! Also a lot of hiding behind the couch. She was given a ginormous chunk of metaplot to convey and she knocked it out of the park and over a Beam. So. Previously, on Haven: Wade went completely off the rails, so Duke killed him. Agent Howard didn't help Laudrey get to Haven, William did. And he was both completely creepy (as were his two buddies Heckle and Jekyll) and completely in love with AudSarLuLex (but not his two buddies). Also he made threats that weren't immediately recognizable as such at the time. Audrey and Nathan resolved to kill Nathan to end the Troubles! And then there was a gunshot!

No Greater Love Haven S4E08 Crush

Previously, on Haven:  Wade was an addicted psychopath. And then he was a dead psychopath. So much for the Crocker Trouble, for the moment. Also, the Troubles are escalating, on purpose. And Nathan and Audrey done did it, and the whole fandom shouted ABOUT TIME. That's it, that's pretty much the sum total of the previouslies, and isn't that enough?

No, no it isn't. Because for your viewing displeasure today we will open on a completely wrecked Duke burying his brother, along with what looks like Simon Crocker's diary, which would make sense if he's trying to bury their Trouble as well. Eric Balfour, you're killing me here. More metaphorically than Wade would. Apparently Wade's middle name is Osbourne, which will cause us to give some sideways looks and ponder the incessant teasing in school. That field where Duke's burying his brother looks awfully familiar, but given the lack of immediately identifying markers or good long-shots as best we can put it it's either the field where Simon Crocker told Duke about Mrs. Holloway's class or the field where That Darn Barn was last seen. Sort of. The door was seen, anyway. I think the former, judging by the plethora of purple flowers, but we don't have random useful Syfy Sync tidbits from that far back, so we can't say for sure. Duke makes a couple starts at a eulogy but either can't find the words or can't say them, so into the grave goes Wade's black-wrapped body, and then it's filling the hole again. Dig a hole, fill it up. Oh Duke. He really did love his brother, as hard a time as they both had dealing with each other when Wade was alive.

Love Takes Hostages Haven S4E07 Lay Me Down

Previously on Haven! We're deep enough into this season that none of the scenes come from prior seasons, which is also a pretty good indication that this ep will involve some repercussions for what's gone before. Audrey's hiding who she really is from everyone but Duke and Nathan, who know her too well to let her get away with that shit for long. Duke and Wade suck at being functional family members, no surprise there, Jordan has Plans which backfire most horribly both in terms of her personal realizations and in terms of ending up dead. Oh, and Wade is completely off the fucking rails. Seriously, the more we look at this the more this is a weirdly steep escalation for someone who appeared to be a bit sleazy but not serial killer levels of bad guy before.

Cut to the Core Haven S4E06 Countdown

Previously on Haven: a whole bucketful of Crocker and Jordan issues, along with some Nathan and Audrey issues for good measure. The previouslies continue to impress us with their ability to explain - no, there is too much, let them sum up - in a minute or less anywhere from one to three seasons (depending on the character) of character and plot arc. And to hit all the highlights that point the way to someone's obvious arc without quite drawing a neon sign over their heads. (Most of the time, that happens organically anyway.) (Someday someone should have the Trouble of reading mytharcs over people's heads in neon signs. No, we're not punchy at all why do you ask.) Also the big reveal at the end of last ep, which while spoilery if you skipped it for whatever reason (why would you do a silly thing like that?) is pretty crucial knowledge going into this one.

This week on Haven, we woke up and all of it was still true and we were still sad, so now it's time to go to work coping the way we cope best. Analysis to the nth degree! We'll say upfront, by the way, that it's the mark of a truly astounding cast, crew, and writers' room that we can see these arcs coming, hope like hell that they're not going where we expect them to, watch them go where we expect them to, and have them still be moving and fulfilling rather than hackneyed and trite. That's a goddamn hard balance to walk when you're working with the really old themes and myths, and Haven's only getting better at it. Still, we don't open with mytharc of the main characters, at least not on the face of it. We open with the Trouble of the week! Some poor guy walking out of a store, possibly the travel agency and possibly one down from it, scowling at his cell phone before staring at the digital display ad in the travel agency window in similar and growing horror. We get a couple angles that make us think we're seeing things from his POV, but clearly we're not, because I can't think of a thing that's that horrifying about a couple nights in Cabo. So we have sideways reference to the ep title, and the poor now-dead guy in the street indicating that whatever this Trouble is, it's going to be crucially integral to the weekly dose of metaplot, on account of its placement in the episode.

As You Are He As You Are Me Haven S4E05 The New Girl

Previously, on Haven: Nathan loves Audrey! Nathan's going to die by Audrey's hand! Lexie's stuck between worlds! If she makes it to the other side, who will she be? Whoever she most wants to be! And then someone shouts for Audrey and that should really be our first clue right there in the previouslies. Sadly, we didn't rate it high on the list of probabilities, though we did ponder it for a bit. Although that's the beauty of a great writing team, that after this long analyzing and predicting a show they can still surprise us like this. We should note that we'll be talking about the last five seconds' spoiler throughout this episode, so if you don't want to be spoiled we recommend even more than usual that you wait to read this until after watching. Boom! Audrey's on the other side, only now she's Lexie and she has no idea what's going on. Allegedly.

Today on Haven we pick up right where we left off and Nathan is pissed. Hard to say who he's pissed at, although he himself is probably at the top of that list. Lexie is a bit sheepish and also a bit wary of what's going on. Vince has that stricken look which means he's not looking forward to getting to know a fourth version and he's sad and misses Audrey. Jordan, as it turns out, is going to be gobsmacked by this for the least amount of time, likely due to her anger admitting only a limited amount of new information into her world view. The whole part where Audrey is now Lexie and this won't work is information her desperation won't allow. So, grab the shotgun, order Lexie to shoot Nathan. Or what? Or you'll shoot him instead? You can't shoot AudSarLuLex because she has to end the Troubles, and if you shoot Nathan you might kill him and then the Troubles still won't end, and this is all without her knowing that there is no barn anymore, so really this is grandstanding and venting rage and pain. (A: Can I just mention that Lexie's accent is in the process of disappearing already? Just saying.) Duke attempts to point this out to her, but she's even less prepared to listen to him than she is to listen to Vince's lameass attempt at barking commands. We've heard him bark commands with far more authority than he's assuming here; this isn't Master of the Guard, quick to grab a gun (yes we're going to keep doing that), this is tired and heartbroken old man. Dave has more force in his voice than Vince does, even though it's all desperation.

Other Worlds Than These Haven S4E04 Lost And Found

Previously on Haven: we are still in deep admiration of whoever's doing these previouslies. As much as we think they could use the extra minute or so of screen time to cram in more of the story, because of how serialized we've gone this season, we also have to admit that the summaries are necessary for people who are either not as fannish as we are or are coming to the show for the first time. This time, we have a fair chunk of the Nathan-and-Audrey love story, though with heavy emphasis on Nathan's side of things - he is, after all, the one who remembers right now. Maybe not forever, we've seen plenty of shots of AudSarLuLex in more Audrey-like clothes, but that could also be because those are the clothes left in Audrey's apartment which fit Lexie. Yes, we're here to bring you all of the worst possible interpretations. And yet you love us anyway for some reason. We also confirmed that the bar/n is, yes, That Darn Barn, and AudSarLuLex is somehow protecting herself by imagining the bar aspect. William? We don't know yet. Isn't it great? But she has to get out because it's still dying, so way-hey for the Dark Tower references this ep. You can expect a lot of swearing and a lot of DT in-universe slang to crop up. Hey, be grateful we don't write the whole recaplysis in Franglais, with A off to the De Temps Antan concert last night. Or turn all our swearing into Québécois patois.

Blood Love & Rhetoric Haven S4E03 Bad Blood

Previously, on Haven: Someone in the writer's room, editor's room, or some management position paid a lot of attention to detail on the previously clips because that's just about as efficient as you can get and still tell the story of how we got here in season four. Good grief. The gist of it? Audrey goes into the barn, the Troubles end for 27 years, so sayeth Howard the barnvatar. The source of her anti-Trouble is love, and every 27 years she has to come out to recharge that power source, whereupon she then goes back into the barn, which acts as an amplifier. Nathan doesn't want her to go into the barn! Nathan shoots Howard to get her back after she goes into the barn. The barn doesn't like this. It disappeared with Audrey, Duke, James, and Arla's body, the Troubles don't end, everyone blames Nathan especially the Guard, he resigns and goes into hiding, Dwight becomes Chief. Like you do when your Trouble makes you a bullet magnet. Duke gets spat out in Boston, makes it back to Haven with the help of Jennifer, who can hear in the barn, finds his brother Wade Crocker running his bar and does his best to try to pry him out of it. For reasons involving both his brother being an annoying pest and the Crocker family Trouble, with a reminder that Duke and Dwight used to have a much more contentious relationship than we've seen this season. (In no small part due to sheer desperation.) Dwight drags Nathan back into being a detective so they can work to stop the Troubles, Jordan follows them both around making dire threats and being in serious need of therapy. (Too bad the therapist's dead.) Meanwhile Audrey is now Lexie and working in what she thinks is a bar, where a man named William is following her around like an extremely knowledgeable and demented puppy. We got all that? There'll be a quiz later.

This week on Haven, we're taking a victory lap. A very small one. Around the couch and hiding behind it again from William. Augh. In the sewers is also a good place to hide from William! Or it would be if we weren't convinced he's a different version of the basement muse. Long story. At any rate, that's where this week's adventure in Haven begins, in the sewers, with a municipal worker griping about Haven's worst infrastructure in the country. And a dead rat who, according to Shernold Edwards, is our first victim of the week! The municipal worker, as we can tell, is our second victim. Doing double duty as our first human victim and the person who discovers the first victim, so, every available role for the person who appears in the first minute or two of Haven! Excellent. The red filter and angle from above tells us he's about to be death from aboved. As, indeed, he is shortly thereafter. Blood splatter on the wall! This was evidently a messy death.