Sunday, December 15, 2013

Page And Monarch Forth They Went Grimm S3E08 Twelve Days of Krampus

From the first ep straight into the second! Or at least that's how it was put out and how I'm choosing to interpret it, given the conspiracy goings-on. Which puts last ep taking place a day ago, unless Portland time and Austria time are running on two separate tracks right now. Who knows? NOT US. Isn't it great? We open on a Christmas shopping scene with O Tannenbaum lyrics which are more focused on the original steadfast/faithful aspects of the German folk song than on the Christmassy themes it's been coopted for. Yes, I said it. You wanna get in an argument with a cranky, tired blogger about folk music? I didn't think so.

We have a couple teenage boys breaking into a car to steal presents and looking, frankly, like they've done this before. They're not completely inept at avoiding detection, is what I'm saying, though they could stand to move a little slower and look like they belong. Also, there's a Santa. And apparently this takes place in the Northwest Christmas Village, which a quick google does not inform me is an actual thing in Portland. It does look like a standard shopping district/affluent neighborhood, though I question the word "normal" in relation to anything in Portland. Anyway. Kids, stealing. Kids under a bridge, emphasizing that they're total jackasses. One of them hears something. One of them is gearing up to smash a snowglobe. I continue to be unimpressed, both with the length of this setup and with the kids themselves, though okay, they do not deserve to be switched and stolen and eaten. Tossed in juvie and taught to be productive members of society, sure. I'd be more inclined to interpret them as broke homeless teens if they weren't obviously well-clothed and well-fed, and if this ep weren't all about Krampus coming to take the naughty children away.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

When Life Gives You Gators, Make Gatorade Grimm S3E07 Cold Blooded

This week's previouslies are a) full of conspiracy but b) start out with Renard delivering part of his lecture to Nick. So we know what our big themes are going in, then! Alright then. The title quote is out of Dryden, who was a Restoration-era poet and I find it very interesting that the better part of the non-fairytale quotes actually come out of British authors. That's probably just personal bias from the writers, though, since that's the sort of Western canon most frequently taught to overeducated fuckers like ourselves. You can hit up Wiki for a rough summation of his influence and work, but let's just leave it at incredibly influential for his time, to the point of being credited with the invention of the heroic couplet, and move on to some sewers. Otherwise I'm going to spend an hour dissertating on the implications of this poem to the conspiracy plot and nobody actually wants that, right? Of course right.

And The Silver Eyes That See The Wind: Haven S4E13 The Lighthouse

Previously, on Haven: There was a lighthouse! And Dave freaking out about an otherworldly door some more. (That explanation's not going to bite anyone in the ass at all.) And really bad Uncharted jokes, really, you guys? William made horrible puns and kept trying to get Audrey's attention like a particularly obnoxious middle-schooler. Death truffles ruled the day, and Audrey started coming in touch with her inner original because she and William are so connected. Also a screaming baby became a mass murderer. Just another day in Haven!

Now on Haven, it still looks like a twisted, fucked up wedding. Audrey still isn't nearly as sure of herself as we'd like her to be. And, really, no one likes this solution. This time when she puts her hand on Duke she does remember something, if only a flash of what appears to be a fun time with nakedness, water, and William. Also kissing. (Which was apparently filmed in Halifax in October. Ouch.) I'm sure you can imagine what they're doing that the network won't let them show. The memory makes someone in there smile, hard to say whether that's Audrey or the person William remembers. Since most of you have seen the episode already we'll go ahead and say, yeah, her name was Mara, we suspected that ever since A Certain Someone let it slip in the livechat after Haven last week. Nathan says her name to try to get her attention, but it doesn't seem to work. She is getting someone else's attention, too. William and his henchbeasts are fucking fishing. Because of course they are. That, too, is a theme among the works of Stephen King, the human-shaped villains that are way more than human are always doing or wearing or both, something very ordinary, very human. Very folksy. I imagine he/they think it makes them creepier. They're right.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

PSA: Triple Eps

We love you. We also love our wrists, which is why we have no idea when the Grimm eps for this week are going to be posted. For those of you who don't know, Haven's season (series? we really hope not, and don't forget that you can write SyFy to tell them to renew Haven, sample letters and assorted addresses here) finale is this weekend, which will undoubtedly result in at least another 15k worth of recapalypse. Grimm is airing two eps because they love us and want us to have content and also hate us and want our wrists to fall off. NBC will pay for bionic replacements, right?

Anyway, all of that is to say: our current plan is to get the usual two Saturday recapalypses out on time, but we make no promises about when the second Grimm post will be out, other than sometime before the Friday following. You can, as always, follow us on Twitter and listen to all our shrieks of Oh You Fucking Fuckers before the post goes out, if you want a timeline on how far we are.

Thanks for understanding, and we'll try to get you some extra content over the holidays so you can all escape your families.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Cradle Will Fall Haven S4E12 When The Bough Breaks

Previously, on Haven: There was a creepy book with a creepy symbol and a creepy saying that creepyass William somehow knew and thus wanted to kill Jennifer. Also William and Audrey were so connected, and together they had made the Troubles, as Audrey told Vince. Many fucks were given, not all of them in English.

This week on Haven! There's a creepyass canned baby scream on the air, and a guy mowing his lawn drops dead! For comedic effect the lawnmower keeps going without him, I guess because it's one of those models? The Rule of Darkly Funny model. A guy playing tennis concludes his game, hears the sound, and also drops dead, although this time we get confirmation that the other person around him doesn't hear it, so only people who hear the sound drop dead. Perhaps it's time to invest in earplugs? A girl is washing a bright red sporty looking car with a guy, and, yep, drops dead. This is pretty right out of the gate! Also quick and lethal. That doesn't bode well.

Triumph Over It Grimm S3E06 Stories We Tell Our Young

Oh, god, okay, fine, I make absolutely no apologies for the amount of anthropology in this recapalypse since apparently someone out there is playing to our strengths. (Thank you. I think.) Starting with the very opening quote! Which on the Wiki list o' Grimm eps (which is a very useful and usually accurate source for the opening quotes) is attributed to, generically, Inuit mythology. This is… a complicated issue at best, and while the quote itself, "We do not believe; we only fear," is eminently appropriate for the themes of this ep. I have to assume whoever picked it basically just Wikiquotesurfed into something that worked. Or didn't care about doing the research. At any rate, when I Googled the damn thing I got led first to this book, about dispelling the myth of the Noble Savage and pointing out that all societies have fucked up and unhelpful traits. While I wouldn't argue with that premise, a quick skim of the reviews at various places makes me think either the author took it too far to indicate that he believes that there's nothing of value in so-called primitive cultures or that your average layperson is an idiot. No points for guessing which I'm leaning toward! (K: I'm going to go with both. Can we go with both?) (A: We can always go with both. It's not like anthropologists aren't an egotistical lot. Ask us how we know.) At any rate, the implication here is that Wesen society is actually closer to Inuit culture or another indigenous group, probably emphasis on being colonized/ruled by an outside group. (We're setting aside the question of if the Royals really are or started out as an outside group for now; the Wesen we've seen treat them as such in present day, which is what matters for these purposes.) That's. An interesting assertion and probably more data than we were meant to take from one title card, but still. Guys, if you're not thinking about what your source for those quotes is suggesting to an educated and/or nitpicky audience, you really don't know fandom very well.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

It's Too Late (Person of Interest S2E19 Trojan Horse)

Things are heating up and AUGH IT'S JOANNE HI JOANNE. From Rent. Look, these are the associations I have, okay? We can just be glad that she's not bringing Maureen into this show. Can you even imagine Finch and Reese's reaction to the entire Alphabet City group? Because I can. Am. And now my brain hurts. Our first bits of data after seeing not!Joanne as the number of the week are to tell us that she's the victim this time. Or at least, that's definitely what that phone call sounds like, one exec's death is mysterious and being covered up and she's digging into it and people want to ensure that she stops? Sounds like victim and not perp to me. Interestingly, the Machine's been giving away more and more of these tidbits in the first few seconds of the show this season, making it all about the discovery of how and why rather than the who. Which is about par for the course, now that Finch and Reese have more or less self-identified themselves.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

PSA: Person of Interest posts ending

It is with regret that I have come to tell you that tomorrow's Person of Interest post - which will not be 2x18, but 2x19, as I'm not asking Kitty to blog a show about which we now have zero fucks to give - will be our last. We've been watching the current season while trying to clear the s2 backlog of eps so that we could catch up by February sweeps, at least in theory, and with the conclusion of the HR arc we find that we don't even have enough interest to watch, let alone to spend eight hours an ep blogging it. Life's too goddamn short to hateblog things, and Murderboarding has always been a labor of love, even when a show puts out a weak episode.

The creators have made it very clear that this is not intended to be a weak arc of episodes, however, but the direction they intended the show to go all along, and that they consider themselves innovative and exciting because of it. We firmly and disrespectfully disagree; we feel it's lazy, cheap writing and a complete cop-out (pardon the pun) of an ending, and we're pissed off that they felt they could do that and call it clever, innovative, shocking, and not suffer consequences. It's neither clever nor shocking. It's a sign of a want of creativity to not have anything further to be able to do with a character so they kill that character off so everyone else can grieve/go on a vengeance spree in their various ways. We did see the episode after that and with two minor exceptions, were neither surprised nor gave a damn about any of it. Characters which we previously loved did not stir us. About the only thing that pleased us was the ending, and not because this was a new and interesting place to take that character. In fact, it was so predictable it was almost inevitable. But we enjoyed it because we enjoyed the actor's performance.

In the end, I suppose it's only appropriate that we're ending our recaplyses of PoI with the episode that fridged the character that began this arc.

As this is not up for debate, and neither of us has the spare cycles for moderating comments this week, I'm turning comments on this post off.

In happier news, we're considering adding Sleepy Hollow to our rotation instead. If that happens, look for recapalypses (given the show, I think we can consider them all apocalyptic) to start up sometime in February after the season finale airs. We also intend to get back to the far more entertaining work of writing essays and profiles for Grimm and Haven; with a topic list currently standing around a double dozen, I don't think we're in danger of a lack of content anytime soon.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Y Justicia Para Todos Grimm S3E5 El Cucuy

There is no previously on Grimm this week. Sorry, guys. The title card, though, is indicative of the rest of the episode: subtitles for everyone! I have to say, too, that I was always less terrified of El Cucuy for some reason as a child, than I was of La Llorona. I do not know why, my little child brain seized upon the weeping woman and made her scream in my nightmares, while the other one? Pfft. Pshaw. Anyway, yes, this is an actual Thing. The title for our recaplysis, since we don't have the benefit of subtitles, translates to "And Justice For All," which our American audience members may recognize as the final words for the pledge of allegiance. I found it appropriate.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Excitable Boy (Person of Interest S2E17 Proteus)

Our first glimpse of this week's number is a man? probably a man by build and clothes, with a hat pulled down low and an overhead shot that obscures most of his face. And Reese opening up a barn in the pouring rain. If you know anything about the genre, then you've already guessed that we're dealing with a likely serial killer this week! Yay! No, wait. The other thing. Especially because if the Machine is kicking out the number of a serial killer, he's good enough to require Finch and Reese's attention.

Our first shot is a Machine murderboard! Aw, I do love it when the Machine coughs up data for us. Major US cities all across the country, SF, Albuquerque, Denver, Chicago, St Louis, New York, and one name associated with each: Henri Musset, Roland Danvers (someone on staff is a Stephen King fan, I see), Edwin Pylar, George Leary, Nathan Kramer, and Jack Rollins. All of this brings us down to New York, where undoubtedly Jack Rollins or whoever's pretending to be him is about to be trapped by a massive fuckoff storm that's hitting some portion of the Hamptons. Oh yay! Because this won't lead to Reese and Finch engaging in dumbass heroics or anything. The boys are coming out of a movie theatre after watching what I will assume is Rashomon (the other choice being Rain People, and that not having subtitles), and let's all just facepalm now, because the basic premise of the movie is a tale told by four separate unreliable witnesses, one of whom comes closest to the truth of what happened. Don't mind me, I'll just be smashing the desk with my face. Sigh, you guys. Snark over Bear's vest and seeing a spaghetti Western (with a semi-related plot to that of Rashomon) aside, this is pure shipbait for the two of them, and really adorable shipbait at that. On the other hand, who the hell else are they going to go see old movies with? Shaw is beside the point right now, because the Machine hasn't spat out a number in three days: drink. What Finch is worried about is Stanton, and Reese really doesn't want to hear that, thinks of it as a failure, and generally would prefer not to be talking about this. Except that they have to, so after a single hopeful gesture toward maybe we're cleaning up the streets he shuts up and offers genuine thoughts. Namely, check under the Machine's hood! I'm all for that. Finch is not. Finch wants it to stay sealed up for a reason, and I take his point, that once opened that's a Pandora's box that can't be closed again and can indeed be accessed by people with less pure motives. Assuming Finch's motives would be or remain all that pure in the first place, which is just another of those things on the long list of Shit They Don't Talk About.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

C&H Report HV411 (complete) Haven S4E11 Shot in the Dark

[N.B.: This recapalypse may look… slightly different to you, to go along with the somewhat different Haven episode. Blame us or blame Nick Parker for an excellent, hilarious episode; we recommend this tag for your ease of reference. We also invite you to check out this list of resources and email/tweet/snail-mail as many people at SyFy as you can in these next two weeks to tell them what you love about Haven and why they should renew it for a fifth season. If we're missing something, drop us a line here or on Twitter!]

To: Adsartha Hammett <ahammet@[redacted]>
CC: Danielle Matheson <dmathes@[redacted]>, Peter Torkarov <ptorkar@[redacted]>, Sam Connor <sconnor@[redacted]>, Ash Dunlevy <adunlev@[redacted]>, Jared Engel <jengel@[redacted]>, Daifyn Ifans <difans@[redacted]>, Alec Cray <acray@[redacted]>, Thomas Marlowe <tmarlow@[redacted]>, Eve Marlowe <emarlow@[redacted]>, Alan Donnelly <adonnel@[redacted]>
Date: 11/23/13
Re: HV411

As you are no doubt all aware, the entity currently known as William arrived in Haven under false pretenses of amnesia, maintaining that disguise for all of a day before his accomplishments with the mind-altering black pebbles whose substance has yet to be determined, but which also seem to contribute to his ability to mark other people and alter their Troubles. Subsequent events have confirmed the connection he claims to have with the entity currently known as Audrey Parker, via a shared gunshot wound. Unfortunately the gunshot was inflicted before the William entity could share what information he has about the Troubles and their origin, and his part in the existence of Haven. We have no doubt that the information he intended to share was highly suspect, but it at least would have provided a framework for future theories.

(And no, no one is allowed to interfere with Nathan Wuornos or point out to him that shooting everything that comes out of the barn might not exactly be the best policy.)

Further developments in the William case were complicated by the arrival of the would-be mysterious Darkside Seekers at North Haven Cemetery on June 20th. Despite their lack of what any right-thinking operative would call competence they were in possession of a video camera and an internet connection, which is all one needs these days to cause trouble. At least one of them appears to consider himself a legitimate investigator or scientist, despite having only the rudimentaries of investigation, no situational awareness, and no concept of scientific method. Byrne fell over a pile of garbage bags, for crying out loud. Though he has a point about the gas leaks. He and Harris arrived at the scene of the first incident immediately after its conclusion and proceeded to trample over most of the finer evidence, discovering the corpse and disturbing the entity within, causing its flight before it could be apprehended. Though the Seekers were too caught up in their own flight to note this at the time or later, we noticed that the entity did not try to attack either of them, indicating that despite its apparent lack of control or a clear pattern, one existed. I strongly recommend apprehending the Darkside Seekers after they are outside the town borders and educating them in proper investigative procedures and respecting the team already on the ground.


Friday, November 22, 2013

Renew Haven!

So, if you've been on Twitter at all ever and looked at the Haven accounts, you've seen the actors, the character accounts, everyone asking us to help them get a fifth season at SyFy. We would love to see a fifth season too! Haven is one of our favorite shows to watch, it's why we blog about it after all, and we'd like to see it going to the fullest end of the story. Which, at the rate they're giving us answers in the form of more questions, could be awhile! (We hope so, anyway.) And thus we bring you sample letters in your choice of downloadable formats, to edit and revise and muck about with to your heart's content, and an incomplete list of people you can contact to let them know you'd like a fifth season. If you have any other outlets to add, from snail mail to Facebook, please drop us a line on Twitter or in the comments and we'll get this post updated as quick as possible.

The base text is under the cut to get you started if you want to personalize it - we've put together an assortment of mix-and-match letters, from specific ships to mystery lovers. And if nothing else, it might knock some ideas loose for your own fan letters!

Email Addresses

Social Media

Snail Mail

Bill McGoldrick
Head of Original Programming, SyFy Channel
30 Rockefeller Center
New York, NY 10112

Generic (focusing on the mystery) PDF   RTF   DOCX
Naudrey (focusing on the Nathan/Audrey relationship) PDF   RTF   DOCX
Daudrey (focusing on the Duke/Audrey relationship) PDF   RTF   DOCX
Nuke (focusing on the Nathan/Duke relationship) PDF   RTF   DOCX

Monday, November 18, 2013

Return of Behind the Scenes at Murderboarding

We're coming up on the holiday season, which means assorted show hiatuses. We're also coming up on the end of s2 of Person of Interest, which means we should probably use our words and tell you upcoming plans in that regard!

These next two weeks are going to be a bit odd. Haven airs Friday 11/22, but Grimm's taking a week off to air on Black Friday. No, we don't know why either. Yes, we find it a bit odd. A is going to be in LA for Thanksgiving (not smacking network execs with dead fish or trying to shake down writers for answers, family vacation), which means the next ep of Grimm will be aaaall Kitty. Just in time for another childhood legend of hers! (K: Yaaaaay.) And after that we're back to the usual doubleheader for the last two weeks of Haven, as far as we know.

Haven: season 2 has not yet been done. We intend for that to start going out in May or June of 2014, after network shows finish airing for the season.
Grimm: we still haven't decided if or when we're going to go back through the rest of season 1 and fill out all the non-Renard bits. Mainly because we don't yet have a TARDIS to write in. It seems probable that this is a thing we'll do sometime, but we can't make you any promises as yet. What we can promise is that sometime during late winter/early spring we intend to take a fangirls' working vacation to Portland. Because we're nerds, because the last vacation A took involved six to ten hours of music every day and then a week of recovery, and because Kitty hasn't had a vacation in approximately ever. We don't promise anything other than Twitter silliness from this, but we definitely promise a lot of Twitter silliness.
Person of Interest: we're scheduled to post the s2 finale on New Year's Day. Yeah, I know, what's the holidays, again? But we're working ahead as much as we can, with the intent being to free up some time during December and January, maybe. What we'd really love is if the networks released more than a couple weeks of scheduling at a time, but right now it seems likely that we'll pick up s3 during the midseason hiatus and start working through that backlog. No promises on when we'll be caught up to doing this show in realtime, but we'll tentatively guess by the middle of the back half of the season, depending on hiatuses, sweeps, etc.

All of this is with an eye toward making room for doing extras again, because we love doing essays and profiles for you guys and we miss it rather a lot. We have a list. It's 20+ potential topics long, spanning all three shows and sometimes involving two of them in a compare-contrast sort of way. I don't think we're going to run out of material anytime soon. So it's safe to say that at least part of our work over the holidays will be doing some of the essays and profiles and ensuring that the show pages are up to date! Just call us gluttons for punishment, it's as accurate as anything else.

And now the show you've all been waiting for... the quoteboard. This, folks, is why we don't livetweet.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Cries Crescendo To Cantata Haven S4E10 The Trouble With Troubles

Previously on Haven: AUGH IT'S A WILLIAM. Staring into the glass. Putting glowy charcoal handprints on people. Being Flagg-esque. Getting his throat ripped out oh no wait, that's only in my dreams. You fucker. I hope Audrey finds a way to make that work. We'd like a little William-throat-ripping one of these days. In fact, this entire set of previouslies is designed to catch us up on William and nothing but that plotline, which should tell us something about how completely fucked everyone is. I'll also just go over here in the corner and twitch on how first couple listen-throughs I thought that was William with the voiceover. It's Nathan, which confusion should give everyone fits. Yes? Yes. Good. Now that you're all suffering with us, let's begin.

For once we're not picking up immediately where we left off, so whatever Audrey was seeing or thinking about as she stared over Nathan's shoulder in that field we'll leave alone for now. Safe bet that the latter was William and all his fun little revelations, anyway. No, we've got a massive explosion of some kind, everyone's covered in soot and ash and assorted emergency personnel are getting civilians to safety and oh shit it's that guy from Jericho. I guess we know who the Troubled person of the week is! What we don't know is whether or not he started out that way, which is a nice wrench for the writers to throw in the works and get to play with: they can get guest stars that the entire SF/F watching community will know and we still won't necessarily know what the deal with them is until we see the episode. It really changes up the procedural aspects even as they retain some of them. Susie, Cliff's wife, is going to the hospital and though she's conscious, by the noises everyone's making and the grim look on Audrey's face I'm guessing those are some pretty serious injuries. Because, you know, piece of rebar sticking out of her side. Also that's some pretty serious guilt on Audrey's part. Honey, whoever you were, the person you are now isn't the sort to make deals with evil fuckers like William and definitely isn't the sort to be happy about what he's doing, but this is not your fault. Not Audrey Parker's fault, anyway. She really does sound like she's about to break down when she says it's William, though. Duke pulls up and has much flailing and cranky, though he seems to have had the I'm-leaving bullshit smacked out of him most thoroughly. Good. Sort of. This serves to establish the triad as their usual competent, snarky, exhausted but always trying for others selves, and gives them a chance to name Doreen Hanscombe and explain that William superpowered her Trouble. From sand in her shoes to a volcano exploding when she remembers her trip to Hawaii, and she gets to be untouched while seeing the havoc her Trouble's wreaked. Oh, and the Crocker Trouble continues to be off the table, let's not forget. Guilt for everyone! Duke will go check on Jennifer, and by way of providing more adorable couples Nathan says let's go home. We can all take a moment to be thrilled down to our toes that he says home and means Audrey's place.

Burdened With Glorious Porpoise Grimm S3E04 One Night Stand

Previ-- wait. No. That's not a previously, that's an opening text! Do I really need to explain where this from? (The Little Mermaid, for those of you who don't have the story filed away in the corner of your brain marked Fables and Fairy Tales.) No? Good. We're on a lakeside. With ducks. So, this will be a water based episode, then!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Bring Your Alibis (Person of Interest S2E15 Booked Solid)

We've only been wanting to use the Eagles for awhile in a post title! I'm just saying. Our first look at the number of the week is a hotel maid, oh THAT'S a miserable job. She looks Eastern European, and Reese is apparently undercover as a bellhop. No indications one way or the other aside from the statistical probabilities as to whether she's victim, perp, or both. The phone conversation we get is a little more enlightening, a someone Harris talking to someone, yup, that's a Balkans-area name. I don't know enough about my Slavic languages to say offhand which ethnicity, but it's safe to say the unnamed woman being talked about as a witness saw some form of horrendous war crime. Oh goodie. I guess we know which one she is!

Finch has clever tidbits of information about hotels, probably because he's stayed in so many of them he started learning about their history and assorted secrets out of a sense of self preservation. Or sanity. Reese has snark and a look about him that says he's not really recovered yet from his ordeal with Stanton and Snow and that whole clusterfuck. And they go in the employees entrance to the hotel in question! Alright then, apparently Finch is doing fieldwork too. We don't have to wait on an explanation for why; Finch thinks that based on what little data he has on Dobrica anything that's going down will happen here because she's single, no family, no going out and socializing, puts in 60 hour work weeks. Probably just trying to make ends meet, yeah, those are some fairly significant stats that lean toward her being threatened at work. Plus maids are both in a position to acquire a great deal of knowledge while having absolutely zero power, as Finch points out. I will take a moment to appreciate (sure, with trollfaces, why not) the fanservice of the boys getting dressed for work in the locker room. Om nom suits. And Reese takes a dig at Finch in a way he hasn't in a long fucking time, and I'm not sure how Doylist that's supposed to be, trying to pry further information out of Finch about his aliases and the ways in which he uses them. On account of Finch has a request into Immigration Services for Dobrica's records from '99… yeah, that puts it at Kosovo time. FUN. Not. There's a lot to do with identity this ep, as ever on this show, but for now we'll let the boys walk out into public.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Stigmata Turns To Stigma Haven S4E09 William

This ep recapalypse is duly dedicated to Shernold. For her birthday we made her a lot of swearing at all the reveals she wrote into this! Also a lot of hiding behind the couch. She was given a ginormous chunk of metaplot to convey and she knocked it out of the park and over a Beam. So. Previously, on Haven: Wade went completely off the rails, so Duke killed him. Agent Howard didn't help Laudrey get to Haven, William did. And he was both completely creepy (as were his two buddies Heckle and Jekyll) and completely in love with AudSarLuLex (but not his two buddies). Also he made threats that weren't immediately recognizable as such at the time. Audrey and Nathan resolved to kill Nathan to end the Troubles! And then there was a gunshot!

Dig Two Graves Grimm S3E03 A Dish Best Served Cold

Previously on Grimm! I have to admit, we've developed a Pavlovian kneejerk of "oh this can't be good" every time Sasha's doing the previouslies. Because usually it means there's a great deal of Royal fuckery going around, possibly in the literal sense. Often, these days. Anyway! Previously, Chirpy and Frau Pech met at a giant Ferris wheel on a park bench for maximum clandestine references (there's even a trenchcoat. but no ducks to feed, alas) where she tells him about how there's someone outside the family carrying Royal blood. Remember that? Because that's gonna come back to haunt us, especially since Chirpy doesn't seem to have made any progress on it recently, what with all of Eric Renard's shenanigans. Nick killed a guy and insisted that he should turn himself in, which while noble and all is rather a far cry from the Grimm who sends heads back to Munich. Oh, and he's got some weird corpse issues from being slimed by the Baron. Yay!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Better Make Up Something Quick (Person of Interest S2E14 One Percent)

Yes, yes, we're being watched. (Fun fact: Whenever A and I sit down to simulwatch an episode of this we generally signal that we've got the TV/computer cued up with "Are you being watched?" "Yep, you?") All we get of this week's number is a guy in a rather nice suit looking back at Reese, who is also dressed in a rather nice suit. We can guess, though we don't get an explicit meeting of the eyes or minds, that this week's number has made Reese at some point in the initial surveillance, and that he's either rich or works as a con artist among rich people, but that's about it.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Paragon in Parallax Grimm S3E02 PTZD

This week on Grimm we do get previouslies, the better to update you on all the conspiratorial shenanigans around this place. Sasha gets to say the "previously on" part, by which we know this is likely to be a Royals-filled ep and not particularly pleasant. Oh goodie. Most of the shots are from last ep, with a few from last season, including Frau Pech telling Chirpy about the royal baby-to-be and Adalind being coerced into signing the contract with Stefania. Also we had a pretty good idea from interviews and promos that someone was going to die at Nick's hands during his zombi rampage, and the fact that we get Guy With Knife And Head Injury in the previouslies means it's probably him. Or that he's significant in some other way, but, y'know. Probabilities and the measuring thereof is what we're all about over here.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

No Greater Love Haven S4E08 Crush

Previously, on Haven:  Wade was an addicted psychopath. And then he was a dead psychopath. So much for the Crocker Trouble, for the moment. Also, the Troubles are escalating, on purpose. And Nathan and Audrey done did it, and the whole fandom shouted ABOUT TIME. That's it, that's pretty much the sum total of the previouslies, and isn't that enough?

No, no it isn't. Because for your viewing displeasure today we will open on a completely wrecked Duke burying his brother, along with what looks like Simon Crocker's diary, which would make sense if he's trying to bury their Trouble as well. Eric Balfour, you're killing me here. More metaphorically than Wade would. Apparently Wade's middle name is Osbourne, which will cause us to give some sideways looks and ponder the incessant teasing in school. That field where Duke's burying his brother looks awfully familiar, but given the lack of immediately identifying markers or good long-shots as best we can put it it's either the field where Simon Crocker told Duke about Mrs. Holloway's class or the field where That Darn Barn was last seen. Sort of. The door was seen, anyway. I think the former, judging by the plethora of purple flowers, but we don't have random useful Syfy Sync tidbits from that far back, so we can't say for sure. Duke makes a couple starts at a eulogy but either can't find the words or can't say them, so into the grave goes Wade's black-wrapped body, and then it's filling the hole again. Dig a hole, fill it up. Oh Duke. He really did love his brother, as hard a time as they both had dealing with each other when Wade was alive.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Internal Memo: Closed File

To: Kitty Chandler <kchandl@[redacted]>
CC:  Danielle Matheson <dmathes@[redacted]>, Peter Torkarov <ptorkar@[redacted]>, Sam Connor <sconnor@[redacted]>, Ash Dunlevy <adunlev@[redacted]>, Jared Engel <jengel@[redacted]>, Daifyn Ifans <difans@[redacted]>, Alec Cray <acray@[redacted]>, Thomas Marlowe <tmarlow@[redacted]>, Eve Marlowe <emarlow@[redacted]>
Date: 10/31/13
Re: Closing another file

As long as you don't get caught. I'm not sure there's not a sub-type to be added there, but insufficient data. And really not enough to start a full file, though we might attach them to Toothy as time goes on, depending on what else we can dig up. Gonna make Sam dig in these archives more, though, the amount of dust covering them is ridiculous. I haven't seen this type of triad in, what, five years? If not more.

Also I would just like to note that whoever cursed the Crocker line really needs to stop reading Genesis. Or Sandman. Or both.


To: Adsartha Hammett <ahammet@[redacted]>
CC:  Danielle Matheson <dmathes@[redacted]>, Peter Torkarov <ptorkar@[redacted]>, Sam Connor <sconnor@[redacted]>, Ash Dunlevy <adunlev@[redacted]>, Jared Engel <jengel@[redacted]>, Daifyn Ifans <difans@[redacted]>, Alec Cray <acray@[redacted]>, Thomas Marlowe <tmarlow@[redacted]>, Eve Marlowe <emarlow@[redacted]>
Date: 10/31/13
Re: Closing another file

I still maintain that's an unreasonable attitude to take to Crocker the younger. That being said, what are we going to do about Laurel and Hardy McLurkersons, are we treating them as attachments to Toothy for now, are we giving them separate files? Do we even have sufficient data for them to start files? I suspect we're all at least mentally classifying them TL/TD.

Can I hit them upside the head with a nailbat?


To: Eve Marlowe <emarlow@[redacted]>
CC: Kitty Chandler <kchandl@[redacted]>, Danielle Matheson <dmathes@[redacted]>, Peter Torkarov <ptorkar@[redacted]>, Sam Connor <sconnor@[redacted]>, Ash Dunlevy <adunlev@[redacted]>, Jared Engel <jengel@[redacted]>, Daifyn Ifans <difans@[redacted]>, Alec Cray <acray@[redacted]>, Thomas Marlowe <tmarlow@[redacted]>
Date: 10/31/13
Re: Closing another file

You get to focus on infiltrating that MurderBunker, then. Have fun! And if you end up with spare time, Kitty could probably use a hand with Crocker and Mason. If for no other reason than no, she's still not allowed to hit him upside the head with a cluebat.


To: Adsartha Hammett <ahammet@[redacted]>
CC: Kitty Chandler <kchandl@[redacted]>, Danielle Matheson <dmathes@[redacted]>, Peter Torkarov <ptorkar@[redacted]>, Sam Connor <sconnor@[redacted]>, Ash Dunlevy <adunlev@[redacted]>, Jared Engel <jengel@[redacted]>, Daifyn Ifans <difans@[redacted]>, Alec Cray <acray@[redacted]>, Thomas Marlowe <tmarlow@[redacted]>
Date: 10/31/13
Re: Closing another file

I'll rejoin Tom on tailing Hendrickson, unless you have somewhere you'd rather assign me?


To: Danielle Matheson <dmathes@[redacted]>
CC: Peter Torkarov <ptorkar@[redacted]>, Sam Connor <sconnor@[redacted]>, Eve Marlowe <emarlow@[redacted]>, Ash Dunlevy <adunlev@[redacted]>, Jared Engel <jengel@[redacted]>, Daifyn Ifans <difans@[redacted]>, Alec Cray <acray@[redacted]>, Thomas Marlowe <tmarlow@[redacted]>
Date: 10/31/13
Re: Closing another file

And thank fuck for that. We weren't looking forward to further surveillance detail on the elder Crocker. Updated the Mason profile as well.


Attachment: (wcrocker-eval102013.docx) 13k
Attachment: (jmason-eval102013.docx) 15k